[dittoz]

Yesterday was my birthday
And I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', And possibly
have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
'Happy Birthday.'

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you,
But the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast And didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
And somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
My secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning [COLOR=blue! important][COLOR=blue! important]Boss[/COLOR][/COLOR],
And by the way
Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better
That at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
When Jane knocked on my door
And said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
And it is your Birthday,
so what do you say we go out to lunch,
Just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!'
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
Where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
With a private table.
We had two martinis each
And I enjoyed the meal tremendously...

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day....
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do we ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'

0K....

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
For just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
After a couple of minutes,
She came out
Carrying a huge birthday cake ..
Followed
By my wife,
My kids,
And dozens of my friends
And co-workers,
All singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there...



On the couch...



Naked.

 

[JWA]

older than the internet :boring:

 

[dittoz]

fun sucker...

 

[JWA]

 

[blue55]

Old or not I liked it, thanks Curt. I usually print jokes guys post here and give them to my wife to share with ladys in her quilt group. Curt, do you go to Auburn's cruise nights? I'm one of the volunteers and liked to see TC members showing up. We get approx 300 cars and no charge to bring a car or for people just looking at the cars.

 

[dittoz]

If you saw the photos of the Chevelle you'll understand why it doesn't get very far!
At the moment, we don't - just too busy with the kids and their sports.

In another few years when they're done, I want to start doing a LOT of that. We do make it to Rocklin's weeknight cruise-in at Strikes from time to time though...

 

[87caprice]

Dang Curt, you're a bad man. You were going to CHEAT on your wife. NOT COOL MAN. Yeah Yeah I know its a joke, GOSH!

 

[MEJ1990TM]

I've never heard that one before. Pretty good.

 

[Motorhead62]

llll

 

[chevelledude71]

Three old sisters live together in one house. One sister is upstairs running her a bathtub full of water. When the tub is full, she undresses.......then yells downstairs,"Hey sis, was I getting into the tub or out of the tub?".

"Hold on.......I'll come up and check", another Sis replied.

Half way up the stairs she yelled down to the other Sis, "Hey sis, was I going up the stairs or down the stairs?".

The third Sis muttered under her breathe,"Gawd forbid I get that damn senile..........knock on wood!" and tapped the table three times.

"Hey sis...........Was I going up the stairs or down the stairs?", the second sister repeated.

"Hold on............I'll be right there.......I've got to see who's at the door",..........
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(MY FAVORITE)

A man walked into the produce section of a Florida supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.



Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some a$$hole wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."



The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"



"Kentucky, sir." the boy replied.



"Well, why did you leave Kentucky?" the manager asked.



The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but w#@res and basketball players up there."



"Really?" said the manager "My wife is from Kentucky."



"No kidding?" replied the boy, "Who'd she play for?"

 

[JChilders]

Classic