When I was about 10-12 years old, I noticed that the engine on my Grandfather's 1950 Chevrolet farm truck was filthy with dirt, grease and other gunk. Thought I would do him a favor and clean it. Unfortunately the only "engine cleaner" handy was a can of gasoline. Let me tell you that it does a great job of disolving gunk but it does not dry real fast. After a few minutes I started the engine and there was a substantial fire. Luckily, the only real damage was that a lot of the underhood wiring had to be replaced.

 

To ask for the most bonehead thing would take a great deal of research.

But, this happened just last night...

I was trying to fix my noisy windshield wipers on my '74, and decided I had to pull the entire dash out to get to them. Two hours later, dash out, pieces everywhere, coupla things broken, I realized that the motor and mechanism are in the cowl... :clonk:

 

Yikes That Hurts!!!!

 

Well, not working on a car but..I was 16, just got through w/ my job at the local golf course reasturant. It was a nice summer night. It was 9:15 pm, and I had just got my liscense. So I come home from work, 2min. away. I was drivig my moms '84 Plymouth Horizon(yeah baby!) and open the garage door only to find 2-3 bikes in the way.I put the car in P and get out to move the bikes. So in all my wisdom I sit back in the car, but, with the door open and my legs hanging out, like I sat in the seat sideways.Well I put her in D and hey , wait, the car lunges foward. I start to panic immeadtly and try to hit the brake pedal with my hand, still sitting sideways! I got to the pedal with my hand, just couldn't push it quick enough! I smacked into the garage wall. I also wacked my face on the steering wheel when the car hit the wall, with my hand on the brake. I get out and looked at what just happened. I only see that I cracked a wooden tobbagian(sp?) up against the wall. So I go inside and my younger brother is just standing there and looks at me and says"you are in deep s&*t!"I turn and look in the living room, the couch is pushed out three feet from the wall! I hit a stud and pushed it three feet into the living room. My parants were not home (thank God!) . I left and came back the next night! They took it well, I had to pay the contractor the $450.00 to fix it all. So , my greatest bonehead move, brought up at every family event from then on.

 

Lmao 72!

 

BigFred66...you are hilarious...and somewhat dangerous as well...

I had a Firebird with GTO 400 Ram Air engine bad boy car...had some squeaking coming from fan belt...hummm better double check see if it is coming from fan belt...it sure is...get the belt dressing got to get in there close...WHAP says the unstoppable fan...dang my finger was hurting...didn't lose it fortunately...keep your hands away from running fan...

 

Lol,, ok ive got 2 big ones, that fit into the what was i thinking group.
First, i was around 18 or so, And needed some gas to prime my carb,
So i proceed to lay on my back, and syphon directly off the gas tank line of my 67 firebird. So, Are you visualizing it yet? lol
One hard suck on the end of hose,,, And i got a face full of gas, up my nose, down my throat, in my eyes, i swallowed a good amount of it.
I Flew(litterally,never felt my feet touch the floor) inside half blind, not able to breathe,and stuck my head upside down under the water faucet.
Ohh man did it burn. my mom called 911 to see if i was gonna die or something,, luckily, all that happened is, i permenatly fried my left sinus cavity, coulda been alot worse. (Not proud of that moment)

Second is equally bad,

So im driving around in my 72 chevelle, no hood on it, as i just put eng in and am fine tuning it.
I notice a little flame on the posative battery cable, Right above the battery..
So what do i do?
I jump out, and start blowing on the fire, trying to put it out, with my face 3 inches from battery.
Well, luckily it hit me,, "What the hell am i doing?"
I turned, and ran as fast as i could to get to shelter, as soon as i turned, KAABOOM!!!!,,Battery exploded like a grenade, i got under cover just intime to hear the acid pouring down like rain all over the eng, and street.
I was litteraly 2 seconds away from blowing my face or head off.
Its moments like that, that really make u stop and think before you Do!!
Ive gotten better with age and experience,,lol (God i hope)

 

Wile E. Coyote; Super genius!!

 

Damn CAMINO69...you are lucky you moved! Dude, your sinus is still screwed up? WOW,lMAO for sure...makes you wonder how we all made it this far.
Hear is another ...just got done under the hood of the 'vell and my friend stopped by, so we go out for a spin...the guy in the car next to me starts pointing at my car, I am like "WTF". Well 2 seconds later smoke is billowing out from under the hood! Pull over, pop the hood, smoke everywhere. I left a rag under there! It was half on fire on the header! I grabbed it -out - but the bushing on the control arm was on fire! I pulled my shirt off and smothered it, and yes it was on the side the gas line come up through. # 2 on my list.

 

Camino69.....reminds me....as a youngster I worked at a gas station. I am as WHITE as you get.....and they stuck me at 5th and Jefferson in Nashville...(NOT WHITE)....in fact I'd have to drive 3 miles to find another white guy. SO this cat rides up and gets $.30 worth of gas in his "duce an ah quatah".

Well it wouldn't start, I roll my Firebird over and attempt to hook up the battery cables .....he jerks them out of my hands and says giv'm to me mutha eff'a .....so I step back as I watch him hook "his" car up backwards........3..2....1.....kaaa BOOM right in his face as he jumps up HEP ME HEP ME ....HAAAP ME.....I casually walk over undo my cables lower the hood on the Bird....back it up and give'r a good rinse down just in case....and he's running around like a chicken with his head chopped off...........THAT was fun.

 

Ok...so I had recently restored my 67 Stang....ride to a car show.....see cops EVERYWHERE.
upon leaving the car show, a cat in a 69 Camaro SS wants a run. I LET my buddy talk me into it..............................................






as we pass the TEXAS DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VECHICLES.......officer he literally had to grab his smokey tha bear hat as we passed him WELL OVER 100mph side by side

 

the first one here goes. when i was 13 my dad gave me two 66 vell ss 396 4spd 396 400turbo, i am gonna change motors. four bumper jacks and no front bumbers, four frame horns. all jacked up 396 and 400turbo dangling from come a long on A frame it starts raining. i go in house. next day motor and tranny are back in car. it took me a week to dig the poles out of the ground. or the middle of his garden. he came home from out of town. and he was peedoff. ` two. was 17 changing throwout bearing. car on ramps, told a friend to scotch tire. i was pushing on tranny with left foot. this is in the street. my head is on the curb. i hear a scream and its my girlfriend. when i would push on the tranny i would slide. but this time i am not sliding, the car is rolling off ramps, the pass front tire is in and on the middle of my chest. if my neck was longer i could of kissed the center cap. but kissing the center cap was the least of my worries. i am pinned, they are friend and girlfriend pushing it off of me the wrong way back up the ramp i am STUCK LOOSING AIR FAST. my dad yells out the window of the house, the same man that owned the garden. push it they other way he yelled. so i live another day. a little flat chested and my eyes stick out a little further than they did. i am 42 now for a couple more days. just a month ago i am taking a HEI to reskue my poor broke down uncle. so before i drive to put it in and find out that is dosen't work i hook it up to battery charger, 1 plug wire 1 spark plug. my girfriend says to me now what are you doing, so i explain if this spark plug sparks when i turn the shaft it is good. ok she said you are so smart i just love you mc guyver. every time i would spin it. it moved away from ground and would not spark. i am getting frustrated she is too. lets go she said it is cold. just buy him one. i said no. one more try she said is it plugged in. my face turned red and i looked and it was. well crap so as i was giving up i grabbed the cap and gave it one last spin 7 empty terminals and five cold fingers. i spunn it real hard and zapppppp. it hurt so bad i was about to puke, she had no idea what just happend my face was all pale. she thought i was having a heart a tack. i was stunned i could not even talk. my face got real red and finaly i told her it was all her fault. i was mad, if she hadn't been rushing me i would not of electrocuted myself.. next time i will use the vise that was next to me.

 

BlackBetty:,

Lmao,, oh that is classic for sure,, Its moments like that that create phrases like,
"Dee dee deeeeeee",,lol
What a maroon,, what a nin cow poop,,lol

 

ok 1982 my buddy says i will tune your carb. he is black headed indian. with nice feathered hair. he leans over my carb a rapps ur up, and it back fires and his head is on fire. he had a new red orange eee looking flat top.

 

Back in the early 70's I helped a friend put a new intake and Holley carb on his 67 400 4spd. Firebird.I was driving,took it out for a test ride and on the way back to my farm we are on a gravel road,idiling along in 1st gear,I blip the throttle and the motor mount broke.When that happens the engine torques over,yanks the throttle linkage wide open and the clutch compensating shaft drops out,rendering the clutch useless.One thing I forgot to mention was the key was broke off in the ignition switch and to start or stop this beast,you had to dig the screwdriver out of the console.It's hard to describe the next 2 minutes as most of it was a blurr,but it was like some wild amusement park ride of doughnuts and figure eights,mowing down corn stalks,bushes,fences and everthing else in our way.I have both feet planted on the brakes as hard as I can push,the front wheels are locked but the posi G-60 14's on the back are going about 80.My friend(the owner) is desperately trying to get hold of the screwdriver with little success.I finally ran over a very,very large holley bush in one of my neighbors front yards,and between that and all the sod I'm pushing with the locked up front wheels,the car finally stops,the rear wheels are still going 80,the screwdriver is retrieved and the beast is finally shut off.Neither one of us could move for a few minutes.The woman that lived in the house(she didn't like me before this)comes running out of the house screaming,ARE YOU KIDS ON DRUGS?
After this all my hot rods had a 5/16 chain from the upper a arm to the head.

 

THAT is one of the funniest things I have heard in a long time. The mental image of all this going down and finally the lady screaming at you "ARE YOU KIDS ON DRUGS!".

I'm almost pissing myself laughing.

 

This one's a father son combo -
I'm 17 or 18 and my vw beetle starter had died in the driveway- I aksed my Dad to help me push start it, but for some reason he was feeling lazy. He says go get a rope and tie it to the back of his S10 pickup and he'll pull start it....
It's all tied and he's hopping in the truck, and me in the bug - he turns and says, when you reach 10 mph, dump the clutch and be ready to hit the brakes so you don't rear end me.
Well our driveway was long enough that I hit 10mph as he was turning out of the driveway onto the main street. I dump the clutch while his truck is on an angle. It pulls his truck straight, sending his front fender into the neighbors new car parked across the street. I had only paid $300 for the bug and it had cost $600 to fix the neighbors car!

 

haha!!lol.. i can just picture that. friend was towing me home once in his dakota when the rope snapped and retracted into his rear driver side wheel, wrapped around it and locked that side up. it was pretty funny, it all happened so quick and the look on his face in the rearview was hilarious

 

DougA - LMAO, I would have said no, but do you have any because I sure could use some after that! Thats funny.
BlackBetty - I would love to have seen the officers face when both of you went by@ 100! I would have loved to be the one doing it, back when I would have done something like that

 

What I want to know is did you stop or keep running?

In my distant youth I ran 3 times, successfully. No helicopters back then. If you got away the chase was over. I stop now. Its no big deal.

 

the reason I know we passed him at over 100 is because I let off (thinking well hell he's got me) I coasted a good distance and looked down and the speedo was rolling back to 95......I looked at my buddy "we got to go" "WHY" he says.....he ain't gonna give me a ticket....he wants to take us HOME with him"

I put my foot in the carb and that pup squat down and a 375 hp 302 will crank some rpms'.....we found an abandoned house and hid. I felt like Dilenger (spl), the area is called Whiskey Flats outside Ft. Worth near the first bank that Bonnie and Clyde hit..........IT gives you a rush that is for SURE!!!

 

Changed a carb and placed a nice soft cloth in the intake to keep gunk from getting in. I then proceded to install the new carb. Started it up when I noticed it ran funny. I then saw what looked like dust coming from the tailpipes. I then noticed that it was bits of rag! OOOOPPS!! Had to tear apart the top half and luckily remove only one of the heads. The rag had jammed itself into just two of the valves without damaging anything. Put back together and it ran fine.

 

Good question Bill - what happened BB? Helicopters really put a dampner on things nowadays! I actually got pulled over by one once, but that is another story....
mdd71 - Those rags can get ya' - I am suprised it did what it did. Dust from the tail pipe! LMAO again!

 

Good question Bill - what happened BB? Helicopters really put a dampner on things nowadays! I actually got pulled over by one once, but that is another story....

That's what this thread is for, no?

Chris

 

for those wondering......http://media.www.thebatt.com/media/...nt-561810.shtml?sourcedomain=www.thebatt.com&MIIHost=media.collegepublisher.com

 

Bottle with no label that I thought was Brake Fluid; $2.00 $2500 for a new ABS setup; priceless!

Bleeding brakes into McDonalds cup and your 4 year old daughter steeling your coke; Stupid Daddy!

Connecting the positive cable to the Solenoid and it's touching the header; Poof no more positive cable.

Two fat centerline wheels for the rearend of your project car; free. Securing them to your car with the wrong lug nuts; stupid. Riding across the grocery store parking lot with three wheels; priceless!

 

using a torch to melt some brass to fill in holes around the back glass of a 72 Chevelle years ago... Reminder to self... take rear seat and insulation out !!! it IS FLAMIBLE !!!! yes, I WAS an idiot :sad:

 

Installing a stereo, i sat in the back seat finishing the speakers, reached out to grab the soldering iron hanging over the front seat mechanism and grabbed the wrong end of the iron. The smell of burning flesh and searing pain was not pleasant.

"Thick Englishman"

 

Buying a Chevelle sight unseen.

 

Today!!! Right Now. Let my mother-in-law borrow the family mini van as there car is in the shop. she stopped to get gas and locked the keys in the car with the car running and my 1 1/2 yr old nephew asleep in the back. only have one set of keys. police want to break the glass. yea me:hurray: :hurray: - just what I wanted to deal wiith on my day off!!!!!!!!!