Life is short. If you're spending those kind of hours at work and hating it, time for a change. Sounds like you were an asset at your past position, and if you left that job under good terms, there would likely be a chance to return and be welcomed back.

You might even be able to purchase a nicer home for the same amount as you sold your other house as the real estate market has probably dropped out a bit there.

Probably wouldn't hurt to call your old employer and share these same feelings with him. Good employees are tough to find.

 

Good employees are tough to find.

Good employers are even more difficult...and in today's world.... impossible.

 

X2 Call your old employer and see if he has any interest. Life is too short to be miserable. I also worked for a guy for a few years who was a real pain to put up with. And I was one of his friends. I pity those who weren't. Anyway once I got away from him I began to enjoy life much more. I was so used to all the disruption that I had come to accept it as normal. Only after being away from it for a while did I realize how damaging and dysfunctional it really was.

 

I found myself in your shoes about 3 1/2 years ago. I had resigned (on good terms) from a really good job of 23 years at a small company to become a maintenance engineer at an auto assembly plant. I got a sizable raise and a good bonus package but almost doubled my working hours. Like you, I was losing contact with my loved ones and friends at home and church. Within a very short time I was miserable and realized my mistake. By the grace of God, a management position opened up at my old company, and after I found they were interested in having me back, I jumped on it. I've been back a little over 3 years, and it was the best move I ever made. I have my family, church, and personal time again, and no amount of money is worth trading those away for.
Don't let your ego or sense of failure at the new job keep you from making a move. If you really want your old job back, tell your previous employer you made a horrible mistake and see what happens. It takes a bigger man to admit he goofed than to continue down a dead-end path to nowhere. I hope things work out for you and your family.

 

After 10 years I left a VERY good paying job as a Business Development Manager (sales) with a small company in the Fingerlakes area of NY for a job as a Package Development Engineer down in York, PA. I felt like it would be a challenge and that I was going to a great company/leader in the industry. This new company is huge, like $2.5 billion in sales.

After 6 months I realize that while I am learning it will be awhile before I am good at this job. No problem there as it is expected. What I didn't expect is:

My boss's boss is a um...difficult to say the least. He berates people in public situations, basically says we are not good at anything etc. and is totally a demeaning bully.


Thanks for letting me ramble.

I am really struggloing here and welcome any input. Even if it's to slap me upside the head and say "dummy, what did you expect?"

Change the jobs and this could be my life story. I too was in a job I liked and I was very good at. I was one of the 'go to' guys when there was a problem.

After ~10 years there was a job opportunity in a field I was interested in but not totally proficient. About 6 months into the new job I had the same doubts about leaving a job I really enjoyed and was good at with co workers I enjoyed. I would have been right there with you jumping ship and trying to get the old job back.

Fast forward another 10 years I'm still in that job. Now I'm comfortable and competent in that job. The opportunities and rewards keep getting better.

Sometimes the most difficult challenges lead to the greatest rewards.

Looking back I'm glad I stayed.

Oh, I also had a supervisor that as you put it was 'difficult'. He didn't last long.

 

Well, I have been more than dedicated in the Last 20 + years to the Pursuit of happiness but in the last year I have one moto and it has two words only and it aint Merry Christmas. F I

 

Working those kind of hours it is real hard to keep a family, I would think. Put them first.

 

The good news is you are not the inventor of "the grass is greener on the other side". There is nothing wrong with realizing things weren't as bad as you thought it was. I myself am the cat who always chases his tail in a circle. With that being said, what are your goals? Make money, freedom, challenge, family time or whatever? It is very, very hard to find balance. Working on the road is a sure fire way to destroy a family. Nobody can answer this one except you. There is no shame in going back to your old employer and trying to get back to where you were. And you need input from your family about what they want to really see happen. Either way, process all the information and come to a comfortable decision. It all works out in the end. But it sure can be a bumpy ride.

 

Life is too short to work for an bad boss. I had a boss that was the same as the "big boss" you outlined and for the one and only time in my life I quit a job without a job.

Turned out great - had four offers in a 10 day period. Took a great job with a great company - met my wife there - all was good.

Find what you love to do and most of the time it will never feel like work. Try not to quit without lining up the next opportunity. Lots of nickle and dime costs when you switch jobs - so you want to keep the costs of changing jobs under control.

Good luck - follow your gut.

 

Those hours your working are rediculous. You will burn out in no time. Plus no time for the shows. The Finger Lakes are awesome. Get your butt back up here.

 

The very wording of your post reveals a strong desire on your part to return to your previous job and community.

Make the call. I did that once - they didn't skip a beat and asked if I could return immediately.

Thomas

 

11:45 P.M. and I am just getting back to the hotel. Another 15 hour day and a public berating from the big boss. I'm tired and frustrated and not in a right frame of mind to make any kind of life decision at this point.

I appreciate everyone's input. I will have to pray very hard for what God's will is for me and my family.

Yes Skaneateles is a great place to live although I will say I have not had to shovel snow at all this winter living in York, PA. :hurray: One good thing is the car season is a lot longer, that is if I am ever home long enough to drive em. :sad:

 

Live where you want, work where you have to. Family is the most important thing in the world. If you're never there to see them, find another job. It's a tough economy right now, both my wife and I are unemployed, but we are home each night to have dinner with the family. If your former emploer will have you back, even with a reduction, take it. no job is worth 70-95 hours a week.

Devin

 

I totally agree with everyone above that family comes first. That should be your number 1 priority.

As far as jobs go - a good quote that I have always found true - "We are not growing if we are always comfortable". Not sure who stated it but it is true in everything we do. Keep that in mind with the new job. The hours are ridiculous but if you can get those down to normal then maybe the job will be a good challenge as you stated.

 

Well I have an 11:00 meeting this morning with the President of the company I left in October. Not necessarily to ask for my old job back but to express my regret that I was not grateful enough for him and the company he has. He treated me and everyone else very well, and I now realize what that means in the grand scheme of things.

So his company is $20 million and growing, not $2.5 billion. He has people working for and with him, not "resources" to be moved, manipulated and used like chess pawns. remember that chess pawns are the most expendable pieces on the board.

I really fell like a dummy and that I have made a grave mistake, uprooting my family, leaving a nice area to live and dissappointing this man who as been very good to me. One would thinnk that at 50 years of age I would know better.

 

good luck!

 

One of the disappointments in life is getting to that 50 mark and realizing life is not all about money. You look around and the happiest people seem to have the least. We have made life too complicated and have lost sight of what is important and it ain't material things. In the end they are all stripped from us anyway.

"Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved." Helen Keller

Whether you get the old job back or not you will be stronger from what you learned.

Good Luck.

 

As one of my best and oldest(meaning an older gentleman) friends has said to me before.....'Well, you already know where the turds are on this side of the fence.' Many good points already mentioned:

Family life, happiness, friendships, church going, enjoying your job and where you live, etc. If your old employer truly understands why you left, and why you want to come back it will not be hard and you will be happier.

As far as the berating boss, I've taken my lectures(yelling) in the past when I was younger(29 now)....no more. If someone wants to yell at me these days, they better be prepared to get an earful worse than they gave me....especially if I know they're wrong. If I'm wrong, I'll accept the blame but consequences with no actions....not happening here.

In a large company, people seem to feel secure that they can yell at other people and it's OK, not so in small companies. Things get noticed, people get pissed and fight back in small companies...they don't take the crap. Letting people know you don't take the crap in the beginning is part of it.....

 

Mark, its all about your quality way of life. And the question you have to ask yourself are you happy? then ask your wife and family if they are happy?
If you are really working those kind of hours you better be making 200K+ a year. It also sounds like your upper boss is just "DICK" and has no life.
Sounds like you have an easy decision to make if you want quality way of living again and you know what to do. Good luck.:thumbsup:

 

BTDT

I worked for a guy (we grew up and went to college together) for 15 years. He became such a monster to work for I just had to get away from him so at the first oppurtunity I left. ( Remember my "dream job" working on and running a muscle car museum and restoration facility) I new I had screwed up after the first week. It took six months to get away from that wacko. I finally ended up with another local highway contractor and for the first time in my life I really enjoy going to work. I gave up a lot of perks and $$$$$$ but all that means nothing if your not happy and you take all that pressure home with you everynite.

Talk to your old boss as others have said. You'll never know til you ask.

Things that happen beyond your control usually happen for the best. Just nudge things in the direction you want them to go.

Good luck.

Mike

 

Well I talked with the Preidentof my pld company and apologized to him for not working more closely with him to work something out when I wasn't happy before. he was gracious, just as he has been all the time and then said, "do you want to come back?" My old boss (VP of Business Development) asked the same thing and was excited to think that I might return. It's pretty nice to be wanted back.

They are going to talk and see what they can come up with and call me. More to be revealed. One hurdle is that I will have to return an $11,000 relocation bonus if I leave my current company before a year is up. That will hurt.

Right now I am praying for God's will for me to be revealed and the strength to follow His will.

Thanks for all the support and words of wisdom. We'll se how this all works out.

 

Well I talked with the Preidentof my pld company and apologized to him for not working more closely with him to work something out when I wasn't happy before. he was gracious, just as he has been all the time and then said, "do you want to come back?" My old boss (VP of Business Development) asked the same thing and was excited to think that I might return. It's pretty nice to be wanted back.

They are going to talk and see what they can come up with and call me. More to be revealed. One hurdle is that I will have to return an $11,000 relocation bonus if I leave my current company before a year is up. That will hurt.

Right now I am praying for God's will for me to be revealed and the strength to follow His will.


Thanks for all the support and words of wisdom. We'll se how this all works out.

Mark, you've got a great attitude and the right mindset. God sometimes closes a door on us, but it always leads to another one opening up. Keep your head up, good things happen to those who pray!

 

"When all of your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier."

Roy Disney

 

Here is my philosophy I try to live by.
You always hear <paraphrased> "I should have stayed home more with the family."
Just ask yourself this question, How many people have said <paraphrased> "I should have worked more hours."

People regret and always look back at life and most question the time away from the family, how many actually wished they could have spent more time working...

I am lucky I work for the Government in Canada and I have the opportunity to take off for 5-12 weeks with what they call Income Averaging. Costs me about 500-600 month (us Canadians pay more in taxes too so it hurts)I try to do it each year (managers permission). Life is too short work hard, but play Harder!!!

Andrew

 

Well I have another meeting with my old company the Thursday before Easter. Meeting with my old boss and the President of the company. I'm sure we will be talking about what options there are for me to return.

Of course to complicate things my house in NY just sold and I found a really good value house here in York, PA WITH A THREE CAR GARAGE :hurray:.

All that doesn't really matter as much though as being true to who I am and being a good and faithful Church member, member of the community, and a good employee, husband, and step father. Thanks again for all your wisdom and input.

 

Cool. Skaneateles is beautiful. But NY is politically dysfunctional!

Mark, there is a huge difference between cutting one's losses, and not being a quitter. I'm glad the truth has been revealed to you. Some never see it.