That would piss me off like no other either.

It's crazy how political these games can be. A good buddy of mine was coaching his daughters softball team. He had some crazy thing like that happen to him as well, when he was innocent and had nothing to do with the incident.

Just sucks cause you're out there volunteering your time and efforts, then have to put up with that crap.

 

My blood would be boiling. Need a dash cam like device on you just to protect yourself from the he said she said crap.

 

Does anyone question why cop cars have dash cams (and now some cops have glasses cams)???

"You can't fix stupid." - Ron White

 

Unbelievable. I think some people just have a level of pride that prevents them from admitting they are wrong.

Happened to me just last summer. I call the incident "The Steaks of Contention".

Two coworkers got in my face one day and accused me of stealing their steaks from the refrigerator (we were in the field staying in a rental house). One of them had gotten in my face a couple months prior and had accused me of stealing his watch (that he later found right where he had left it). To his credit he later apologized but he didn't seem to have learned the lesson.

In return, I got in their faces and told them they needed to play hide and go **** themselves.

Cleaning out the refrigerator the next morning, guess what turned up? Their steaks, still sitting in the container they put them in. The two coworkers, when they found their steaks thus proving that I had NOT stolen them, then accused me of taking them out of the marinade container and putting them on the plate.

Another coworker who had left for another job at the beginning of the week returned that night. The Steaks of Contention were about to be put on the grill by the accusatory coworkers, and said coworker cautioned them that it had been more than a week since he had taken them out of the marinade and put them on the plate, and it might not be a good idea to eat them now.

As it turns out, not only had the third coworker put their steaks on the plate, but he told them he was going to do it, did it right in front of them, and they watched him put the plate in the refrigerator.

CW #3 told them they owed me an apology, but refused.



About 10 years ago, my brother worked at a place in Wisconsin that produced pull tabs (charitable gambling devices). A case turned up missing, and they blamed him. He was fired immediately. Guess what turned up a week later? Yeah. The boss called him and offered him his job back but he politely declined. I'd have a hard time trusting someone after that.

 

Unbelievable. I think some people just have a level of pride that prevents them from admitting they are wrong.

Happened to me just last summer. I call the incident "The Steaks of Contention".

Two coworkers got in my face one day and accused me of stealing their steaks from the refrigerator (we were in the field staying in a rental house). One of them had gotten in my face a couple months prior and had accused me of stealing his watch (that he later found right where he had left it). To his credit he later apologized but he didn't seem to have learned the lesson.

In return, I got in their faces and told them they needed to play hide and go **** themselves.

Cleaning out the refrigerator the next morning, guess what turned up? Their steaks, still sitting in the container they put them in. The two coworkers, when they found their steaks thus proving that I had NOT stolen them, then accused me of taking them out of the marinade container and putting them on the plate.

Another coworker who had left for another job at the beginning of the week returned that night. The Steaks of Contention were about to be put on the grill by the accusatory coworkers, and said coworker cautioned them that it had been more than a week since he had taken them out of the marinade and put them on the plate, and it might not be a good idea to eat them now.

As it turns out, not only had the third coworker put their steaks on the plate, but he told them he was going to do it, did it right in front of them, and they watched him put the plate in the refrigerator.

CW #3 told them they owed me an apology, but refused.

Just being curious here, but what kind of steaks were they?

 

When my girls were younger I coached their fastpitch softball teams. I could go on for hours with some of the bad stories. I finally walked away from coaching and decided it was a thankless, stressful job that was not worth the headaches.

 

If you're daughter isn't playing I'd ditch it. Your wife is right. Sadly these team based things really get nuts. Sounds like someone is out for revenge and the last thing you need is an accusation that would affect life outside of this team.
If you do intend to stay I would buy those glasses look like sunglasses that record several hours of video and sound. No more he said she said crap. Anything else comes up you have it all on tape.

http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/SearchTools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=8674909&csid=_61

 

I coached hockey for 22yrs. When I started it was a community organization that ran on volunteers but soon merged with another association was run by white collar entitlement people who thrived on the power, political drama and inventing BS but never did any of the work. I finally left when false stories about people were circulating for the sole purpose of ostracizing them from the association, just wasn't worth the effort anymore. Thankless job, you got that right.

 

It's a serious allegation, I'd have a lawyer send them a letter about slander and that you'll pursue the allegations to the full extent of the law... Ask for an official apology and/or retraction of the accusation.

 

I agree with Terrance about your daughters being involved in the sport or not. If they aren't, I wouldn't bother wasting time anymore. I would almost consider walking away from the whole thing right in the middle of the season and leave the league hanging. However, that leaves your team hanging which isnt really fair to them though but damn is this a frustrating thing to read. Some of it reminds me of how our Chevelle club was ran back in 2009.

 

i think you should take a cue from Andy's story and tell them to go play a game of hide and go **** themselves..

 

I really did tell them that

 

Doesn't seem worth it to me. I'd walk away from coaching. Guilty until proven innocent.

 

Closest I had was a mechanic job at a factory. I transferred to the newly acquired plant from the old plant 30 miles further from home, it was supposed to be a great opportunity. I didn't really fit in with the other mechanics at the new place in Santa Ana, as I was apparently the only one without an extensive criminal record and I have the ability to read.

Seemingly everyday, I would get called into the office and questioned about some fictional event that I was accused of by my fellow mechanics. If two guys told the same lie, it magically became the truth. I take great pride in my integrity and honesty, but after a couple months I had a reputation as some sort of problem causing troublemaker. That still bothers me to this day, the loss of my reputation due to outright lies about me.

Then those two coworkers started sabotaging the equipment I had repaired, to try and ruin my reputation as a mechanic, as I still had that going for me. One day I was working in an electrical control panel that I had locked out, and the hair on my arms suddenly stood on end. One of them cut the lockout tag off and powered up the 480v 3ph while I was working in there. That's attempted murder in my book.

Shortly after that incident, I ended up quitting the job after investing five years into that company, but not until after I had a nervous breakdown.

 

Wow.

I had similar experiences where I work now, with two guys who were there when I started. I had comments made to me by neutral outsiders that the level of hatred directed towards me was usually reserved for someone who slept with someone else's wife To this day no one else who was around then really knows why, but it started the minute I walked through the door.

I had one of the two guys deliberately sabotage one of my field ops, evidently hoping to make me look bad in front of the boss, but he made the company look bad in front of the client. Fortunately the boss isn't stupid.

I was roundly criticized for begging off diving often during those years, but the reality was I just didn't trust either of those cretins to run the rack while I was in the water.

Needless to say, both of them are long gone. Another coworker at the time who still works with us from time to time says his biggest regret is stopping me from pounding the crap out of one of them on the dock in St. Petersburg I said yeah I regret that too

 

Curious - how old is this "young" lady, anyway?

 

Ever been accused of something you didn't do???...

Yes, when I was 10 years old.

I had a very old BB gun that I found in a closet when we moved into an apartment house that dad bought.

One of dad's renters had an old junker Chevy parked beside the building and someone shot a BB hole in one of its windows, so naturally they thought it was me.

Now I had no BB's at all (not even one) but the old gun did have enough power to shoot a wooden match about 10-15 feet.

What bothered me the most was that even my own dad wouldn't believe me and took away the old gun.

Of course there was many other things that I DID do and never got accused of.

 

I've never seen a chipped stone BB gun before l l

 

Elsolo, I would have went to jail for murder!! After that guy powered that machine up I would have come out of there like a madman and beat the mortal crap out of him.

 

Stick to your convictions because you know you did nothing wrong. End of story. Back down on this and then what?

 

Had a friend/coworker a few years back that refereed a girl's softball league as a non-paid volunteer. He had been asked to ref the games by the league since he was a star softball player in his own right. He was mid-20's in age, single. The girls were mostly late teens to early 20's. After the games a lot of the players, coaches, and refs went to a local watering hole for refreshments. This was in a small town of about 3,000 people where everyone knew everyone else. Very friendly atmosphere, right?

A couple girls offered to buy him beers, but he turned them down so that he wouldn't be accused of favoring one team or person over another. Couple days later he received a letter from the league asking him about alleged sexual harassment of some of the girls. One girl's dad threatened him with bodily harm. Another dad told him he would get him fired from his job as an electrician. After much explaining and stress involved in the allegations, he was cleared of any wrongdoing. He then quit as a volunteer referee even though he loved the game. No one ever apologized for the allegations and threats. Then he actually quit his job and moved away because his reputation was tarnished and it affected the performance of his work.

His words on the last day of his job......"I volunteered because I thought it would be fun and it just wasn't worth it".

 

no good deed goes unpunished

 

That saying is true about 90% of the time for me. I love to help people too...I'm not all religious or anything but sort of believe in Karma. So I always feel good when helping others. But after so many times of getting screwed its sort of like, no thanks. I'll just worry about my own life.

 

The entire situation sucks. It seems like the girl may have been new to refereeing and decided to exert her authority in something that was none of her business let alone was wrong on her part. Then she went crying to some higher ups when you didn't react the way she thought you would.

I would try to finish out the season in peace, then wash your hands of the entire organization. Move on and don't look back.

Good luck.

Steve R

 

Finally
The rules do NOT say anything regarding pants/shorts (neither the league's rules nor the national association's they belong to). So the young lady was incorrect.

Just out of curiosity, is there a clause in the rules that says something to the effect of "if it's not specifically allowed, it is prohibited"? If that's the case and it doesn't specifically allow pants then they are prohibited.

 

Well since your daughter is on the team its time to go to war.

Tell the mothers what happened and tell them you want them to call the president of the league to voice their support. They don't want to coach then let them bitch. That will be their part.

 

You need to do what is best for you! By now you must have realized you are not the first and wont be the last to go through this crap!

Coached ice hockey and experienced the same. If it wasn't a parent that chirped about something it was another coach or someone in the organization. Every parent thinks their kid will be in the NHL and every coach thinks they are the next Scotty Bowman. Funny thing is that even the very best kid local to this area has a .001% to play in the NHL and a for the coaches that think they belong, should not be behind the bench. As for the parents - they should just drop the kid off and leave, as most of the kids later resent the parents getting involved. The book that could be written about parents who's kid/s play sports would be a best seller!

If I had it all to do over again I would have drop the kid off and hit the gas on the way out of the lot! Its a good opportunity for the kid to learn a life lesson! Actually I did adopt the policy of none involvement when he was about 13 and no regrets. He ended up playing Junior hockey and still plays to this day. The kids see the BS when they are very young, just to young to say anything.

"Get Out Of Denver"

Bet of luck with your decision!

 

You need to do what is best for you! By now you must have realized you are not the first and wont be the last to go through this crap!

Coached ice hockey and experienced the same. If it wasn't a parent that chirped about something it was another coach or someone in the organization. Every parent thinks their kid will be in the NHL and every coach thinks they are the next Scotty Bowman. Funny thing is that even the very best kid local to this area has a .001% to play in the NHL and a for the coaches that think they belong, should not be behind the bench. As for the parents - they should just drop the kid off and leave, as most of the kids later resent the parents getting involved. The book that could be written about parents who's kid/s play sports would be a best seller!

If I had it all to do over again I would have drop the kid off and hit the gas on the way out of the lot! Its a good opportunity for the kid to learn a life lesson! Actually I did adopt the policy of none involvement when he was about 13 and no regrets. He ended up playing Junior hockey and still plays to this day. The kids see the BS when they are very young, just to young to say anything.

"Get Out Of Denver"

Bet of luck with your decision!

ahh, the good old days... when parents put kids in sports so they didn't have to deal with them for a couple of extra hours after school or during summer vacation, and their only involvement was writing a check to cover the costs of joining and showing up at games every once in a while.. i don't remember ever seeing my mom, dad, or any relatives at my little league baseball practice in the early 80's- and in fact, the only adults i remember being there were a couple of coaches.

contrast that to when i went to watch my then 10 year old nephew at football practice one time- every kid was brought by at least one of his parents, and they hung around the whole time to make sure the coach was able to see how much more awesome their offspring was than all the other genetic misfits on the team.. my cousin told me how insane some of the parents were, and i had to see it for myself..
while it tends to be a bit more laid back, some of the parents that i've seen at his motocross races are just as bad..

 

After 10 years of coaching youth soccer 4-18 year olds (can be said for any sport though) i retired to focus more time on family and cars. There are many conflics that can happen. I used to always preach that the game was for the kids NOT the adults. It is really a shame. I would do it again if someone asked but no one has asked and i wont volunteer any time soon. Hang in there and good luck to you.

 

After 10 years of coaching youth soccer 4-18 year olds (can be said for any sport though) i retired to focus more time on family and cars. There are many conflics that can happen. I used to always preach that the game was for the kids NOT the adults. It is really a shame. I would do it again if someone asked but no one has asked and i wont volunteer any time soon. Hang in there and good luck to you.

I do it because I get to spend more time with my kids, and honestly, because I have more control to make sure MY kids are satisfied...

This is my first year as Head coach (just for the younger daughter), but I have been assistant coach for the previous 3 years (and for both my daughters' teams). The Fall "outdoor" league is completely different from the "Winter" indoor league; different structure, different personnel, etc.

I have seen lots of issues with the parents complaining, even saw a grandmother for the other team yelling & swearing at our Head coach during a game last year, and we were losing the game... :sad:

But thankfully this year as head coach, I had only one issue with my team's parents... Ironically, that involved one of my assistant coaches and his daughter... Ironic, because this is the same coach I previously mentioned, that doesn't allow my older daughter to play much offense ( we both have 2 girls, about the same ages)... He wanted his daughter to play more, and complained because I had her only on defense. When he mentioned it, I called his daughter over, and asked if she wanted to play offense or mid-field, and she said "no, I only want to play defense." He was apologetic after that...

Outdoor league, we had a "team mom" that helped me, and organized an end-of-year party... But indoor, no one volunteers...


Yeah, "for the kids"... Our league is also a "recreational" league. The same organization also has "competitive" leagues, but "comp" players are not allowed on the "rec" teams... The league has a "Sportsmanship" rule, where a team can not win by more than 6 points. if they do, the team is penalized one point in their "standings" score ( 3 pts for a win, 1 pt for a tie and 0 for a loss)... But still, there was a game last week when a team won 11-1... And the loosing team hasn't won a game all season... Nice! I also hear some of these players and coaches yelling, really intense, even when they are leading by 6 points... Its a rec league... No way to verify, but I swear some of these teams look like they have a lot of older players and/or comp level players... At least the tough competition helps are girls try harder...

 

Been there, done that. Coached county rec soccer and and girls softball for 6 years or so. Same deal, no one else wanted to organize it and do it consistently.

You get all kinds of stuff. Try to stay neutral, always have other adults/parents around, etc. Make sure you are good with the league management. They normally can resolve these things, at least they did in my experience. Refs vary widely. Normally, in soccer, the ref should point that out at the pad check before the game or similarly. They also used to check and ask girls to remove visible jewelry, etc. Otherwise, they bought into it. Iirc, only the team captain on the field can officially talk to the ref. And random refs on the sidelines don't count. Occasionally there are parent challenges also....

Spare no effort to win! ( )

Softball has a whole nother set of fun!

 

oh yeah.... cost me a job and my life hasn't really been the same since. But I believe there is a special place in hell for those who do this to us.... I hope anyway...