She wants child support 17 years later ??? Any lawyers out there ?

Mr69 · Jul 1, 2005

Guy comes into my work today for some repairs and proceeds to tell me how distraught he is because his ex wife is asking for back child support for their 17 year old son. He's 1 month from his 18th birthday, and now she has the State on her side and is asking for $76,000
He said they settled on $42,000, but when she went to discuss this with the State, they told her $50,000 minimum.
He applied for a loan against his home, but that didn't go thru because she had all his assets locked up. They are garnishing his wages to the tune of $400 a month now.

Can this be right. If they agreed that he didn't have to pay any child support when they seperated, then why would she be entitled to anything this late in the game ? She never asked him for any help till now.
Somebody must have told her that she was entitled to X amount per month. She's just now pursuing this right before the boy turns 18.
He said that he bought the kid all kids of stuff over these last 17 years. So even though he wasn't obligated to, he did anyway just out of love, I am sure.

He knows she is only doing this to get money for herself. None of it will be spent on the kid.
Is there nothing he can do to keep this from happening ?

Nate

Andy69 · Jul 1, 2005

Arrrrrr!!!! You've hit on one of my peeves. I had a buddy who got a divorce, and he had to pay his ex like 1000/mo for their 3 kids. Doens't sound like much until you realize he was an archaeologist, and that was like half his take-home. His wife used the money for vacations and a new car. Child support needs SERIOUS reform - it is out of control. For one thing, it's CHILD SUPPORT, not ex wife support, and using the money for vacations should be against the rules. I'm a firm believer that recipients of child support should be required to fully document where the money goes, and send an accounting to the court to make sure that the children's needs are being met (or, actually, ONE HALF of the children's needs). If any money is left over, it should be given back to the donor. This is a serious problem that needs addressing.

Andy

gspan1830 · Jul 1, 2005

Andy69 said:
Arrrrrr!!!! You've hit on one of my peeves. I had a buddy who got a divorce, and he had to pay his ex like 1000/mo for their 3 kids. Doens't sound like much until you realize he was an archaeologist, and that was like half his take-home. His wife used the money for vacations and a new car. Child support needs SERIOUS reform - it is out of control. For one thing, it's CHILD SUPPORT, not ex wife support, and using the money for vacations should be against the rules. I'm a firm believer that recipients of child support should be required to fully document where the money goes, and send an accounting to the court to make sure that the children's needs are being met (or, actually, ONE HALF of the children's needs). If any money is left over, it should be given back to the donor. This is a serious problem that needs addressing.

Andy

You are absolutley 100% correct. They take the money from the non custodial parent and give it to the custodial parent without even asking if the child will recieve any of it. If he can't pay he looses everything and goes to jail, if she looses her job and can't support the child they do nothing.
Some of the court orders make it impossible for the non custodial parent to even make ends meet.

Totally unfair system and needs to be ****canned.

novaderrik · Jul 1, 2005

she probably just applied for welfare- here in MN, if you are a single mother who applies for welfare, then the state automatically goes after the "deadbeat dads" to pay for it- and they do go for "back pay", so to speak.
even if the "deadbeat" has always gotten everything the kid needs, and even gave the mother more money than they agreed on if she needed it to get something for the kid, or even IF the "deadbeat" gets the kid every other weekend and also gets the kid for 3 months every summer. and even if the mom got married to a psycho that held a gun to his head in front of her 4 year old daughter and later beat her (the mom) in front of the kids- who do you think gets custody and gets the free check in the mail every month? my cousin gets to pay child support simply because he "chose" to go to prison for 3 years because he fell asleep behind the wheel and his best friend died as a result.
he is one of those "deadbeat dads" that will go to the ends of the earth and give up his last dolllar if his daughter needs it- but the ex got a divorce and went on welfare, so guess who gets to pay 1/2 of his GROSS wage to help make the ex's house payment all of a sudden.

Mr69 · Jul 1, 2005

I believe they mutually agreed that he didn't have to pay any child support when they seperated.

I'm thinking there is a combination of 2 things happening here.
1. She is low on money
2. Somebody told her she was entitled to get money from him

Why else would she be asking for money in the last few seconds of the fourth quarter ? (analogy)

Isn't there some sort of statute of limitations on this ?

I'm concerned about this guy. He was talking about suicide. Then he started talking about automatic weapons and taking some people with him.

I'm going to see him again tomorrow. It sure would be nice to have some encouraging advice for him.

Nate

LXS · Jul 1, 2005

Who knows, maybe she "agreed" to one thing, figureing that she'd really screm him over later on? Preconcieved? Maybe. Sad to think this way, but that's where this world is heading

Gutz66 · Jul 1, 2005

my cousin just informed me two days ago that he was being served papers. the ex-girlfriend did not want any help the past 12 yrs. he has always tried to help. when she would let him, he did what he could. now she wants child support and back pay. i guess she quit her job and lost her insurance. she never talked to him about it. just ran to the court house and they treat her like she has been beaten her whole life.:sad: My cousin has been married for a number of yrs now, owns a house, harley, camper and makes end meet. now he fears he will lose everything. worst of all, the hardship on his marriage. SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE. The law acts like we live in the 40's or 50's. Times have changed and the laws should too.

Dean · Jul 1, 2005

Maybe he can get a different job or start his own business where his paychecks can't be touched.
That's what "deadbeat dads" do, either that or they just don't pay.

On the other hand, maybe she has spent that much raising the boy and wants to be reimbursed so he can go to college.
It would seem to me like she should only be intitled to half of the amount she has spent though but I've never been in that situation so what do I know.

Mr69 · Jul 1, 2005

It wouldn't do any good to change jobs or relocate. They've attached his home.
He said his house payment is going to increase from 1000 to 1500 a mo. if this loan goes thru to pay her off.

I probably don't know all of the details and I know I'm only hearing one side of the story.

Just seems to me he's getting worked over pretty good.

Man am I glad I'm single and don't have any kids, (that I know of).

A lot of grief for 10 seconds of pleasure !

Nate

Chris R · Jul 1, 2005

Is it possible this guy could fight for the kid and if he wins, she now has to pay? Even though the child is almost 18 I suppose its not worth it at this point.

Sounds like she is realizing its almost too late since he is almost 18 and is trying to get something out of him before its too late. How can the govt. just tell some guy to pay some outragous price like that after so many years? That some real bs there if I ever heard it.

Slowpoke70 · Jul 1, 2005

Hence why there needs to be a system set up where people need a license to have kids and to gain that license they need to go through education classes where they learn all the legal mumbo jumbo that comes along with having kids. You know, courses that tell you "if you get divorced, your rights are _______" and other stuff like that. "Your responsiblities as a parent are ________"

And if either parent doesn't live up to their responsibilities, heavy fines will be issued. Repeat offenders should be stripped of their licenses and their reproductive capabilities.

Also, maybe there could be a clause where if you get married, then have kids, then you can't get divorced. You know, like the good ol' days, where you just stayed in the marriage because it was the right thing to do?

Kids out wedlock prohibited by law?

I dunno, I think the whole marriage/procreation/divorce system needs to be fixed.

Slowpoke70 · Jul 1, 2005

Oh yeah, since the thread author keeps throwing his "pussification" and "real men" clauses.......

Real men take care of their kids themselves, no substitution, no cop outs (i.e. separation/divorce), no deals, no leaving it in someone elses hands. Real men do it themselves, no matter what.

Child support is part of the pussification process, but its men that are at fault on this one.

smitty454 · Jul 1, 2005

Slowpoke70 said:
Oh yeah, since the thread author keeps throwing his "pussification" and "real men" clauses.......

Real men take care of their kids themselves, no substitution, no cop outs (i.e. separation/divorce), no deals, no leaving it in someone elses hands. Real men do it themselves, no matter what.

Child support is part of the pussification process, but its men that are at fault on this one.

Wish I could do the thumbs up smiley. I totaly agree with you slowpoke. I have a feeling pussification is going to become a very popular word here on TC.

Bad Rat 414 · Jul 1, 2005

I paid child support for 14 years or so on three kids so I know the feeling. Talk about screwed up I had to pay for HER lawyer and I didn't have one. I do think with a good lawyer he can beat it. The judge is going to want to know why she waited this long before she tried to get support from him.

cjlandry · Jul 1, 2005

SS3964N8 said:
A lot of grief for 10 seconds of pleasure !

10 seconds! Bummer. You know they have pills for men with that problem. Let me know and I'll give your email address to these people who send me all the emails about those pills.

Seriously, I hate to hear about your friend's problem with child support.

As for those who say that men are the problem here, it works both ways. It takes two to tango. Yes a real man takes care of his kids, and for all you know, this guy did too. He just didn't have a legal obligation and probably didn't keep records of everything.

Suddenly, the legal obligation is thrown in his face after nearly 18 years?

Yes, there should be a license requirement for procreation. It's a shame that we can't just sterilize all the men and women when they're born, then fertilize them when they prove that they can be responsible. It certainly seems that with today's excellent methods of birth control, this would be easy, inexpensive, and painless.

The Constitution says nothing about the right to procreate. It does mention the right to keep and bear arms, but somehow I have to carry a license to bear 'em (but that's another thread for another time).

If that amount had been paid over 17 years, it's only $210 per month. I'll bet he wouldn't have gotten off that easily if they'd taken this to court over this when they split. Seems to me it could be a helluva lot worse.

Advice? Sell your home, keep the cash, and disappear from the face of the earth. Leave the country before any judgement is passed against you. It may well be your only hope. It's a crappy option, but it sure beats murder/suicide.

You can always send money to the kids from wherever you are at your own discretion.

LXS · Jul 1, 2005

cjlandry said:
It's a shame that we can't just sterilize all the men and women when they're born, then fertilize them when they prove that they can be responsible. It certainly seems that with today's excellent methods of birth control, this would be easy, inexpensive, and painless.

The only thing that I can see wrong with that is, it'd most likely promote permiscuity(sp?). It'd be a "get out of jail free card" to have sex. Then when that peson(s) are "ready" they can be fertilized, and they're "good to go." I know you said that when they're "ready" they'd have to prove it, and with today's "standards," a lot of people might just "prove" their worthyness when they're in their 40's, 50's, etc.

I like a lot of points that Enrique said, and I agree with him, and also agree with Chad because the blame/fault belongs to both parties.

LXS · Jul 1, 2005

My sister in law just went thru something similar. She's an ex-cop who worked for LAPD. Well, when her and her husband finally split up, he called her job and told them she was physically abusing him. She would beat him up, etc. Now, this is true, BUT, he also beat on her. They'd basically beat on each other. From what I know, they had be like this since they first got married in the 80's. Now after some 15+ years or so, they finally split up.

The thing where he really screwed her is, he ended up getting her fired, she ended up "buying" the rest of her house off of him, AND being that he has MS, she has to pay HIM money every month even though SHE has the kids!

This is a weird, crazy, and twisted world we live in.

Guest · Jul 1, 2005

Been there, done that!!

I kicked in an extra third when I was divorced to help my kids out! $450 to $600/month for my three kids but this was waaay back in the early '80's..

Either get a Lawyer and go to Court! Pay the money OR become a "Dead-Beat Dad"!!

Sorry for what's happening but you are probably going to have to pay for the screwing you got!

I always figured the f-----g you get isn't worth the f-----you get when it turns bad!!

Cheaper to buy it!!

What was the Old wise man's saying?? "If it fly's floats or f---'s, it's usually too expensive!!"

I know I'm probably out of line here but this one is an ADULT thread, imho....

Again, take your pick as to what you are gonna do but like said, a REAL man takes care of his kids regardless!!

Preacher Dr. Lester Sumeral up at Southbend, IN once said when he heard about some Rock Star laying a 1000 girls, "why heck, that's no big deal at all, b/c any old stray dog can do that!!"...

pdq67

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Andy69 · Jul 1, 2005

pdq67 said:
Been there, done that!!

I kicked in an extra third when I was divorced to help my kids out! $450 to $600/month for my three kids but this was waaay back in the early '80's..

Either get a Lawyer and go to Court! Pay the money OR become a "Dead-Beat Dad"!!

Sorry for what's happening but you are probably going to have to pay for the screwing you got!

I always figured the f-----g you get isn't worth the f-----you get when it turns bad!!

Cheaper to buy it!!

What was the Old wise man's saying?? "If it fly's floats or f---'s, it's usually too expensive!!"

I know I'm probably out of line here but this one is an ADULT thread, imho....

Again, take your pick as to what you are gonna do but like said, a REAL man takes care of his kids regardless!!

Preacher Dr. Lester Sumeral up at Southbend, IN once said when he heard about some Rock Star laying a 1000 girls, "why heck, that's no big deal at all, b/c any old stray dog can do that!!"...

pdq67

the one I heard was "If it floats, flies, or f***s, rent, don't buy!"

I tell ya though, I waited a long time to get married again and have a kid (I'm 38 and my daughter is 4 months). Just the fact that I can get royally screwed if we ever split up is incentive to work that much harder to keep things good.

Your buddy needs to get Johnny Cockroach or that guy who got Michael Jackson off, and say "Here's $50,000. Mop the floor with her".

Seriously, a good attorney and all the records he can dig up regarding everything he's paid for the kids would help a lot.

Andy

Hotrod_Haven · Jul 1, 2005

Johhny "Cockroach"

is dead. Guess he could dig em up anyway.

She wants child support 17 years later ??? Any lawyers out there ?

Mr69

Andy69

gspan1830

novaderrik

Mr69

LXS

Gutz66

Dean

Mr69

Chris R

Slowpoke70

Slowpoke70

smitty454

Bad Rat 414

cjlandry

LXS

LXS

Guest

Andy69

Hotrod_Haven

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