Original excuses for calling in sick
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Funny! Actually, my dad used almost that same one last month. My mom has brain cancer, and between the seizures, chemo/meds, and loss of actual matter from surgery, she gets confused easily. She woke up saying she didn't know where she was. He wasn't about to go to work and leave her alone. So he called in. She also frequently can't remember what the other rooms in the house look like. Amazingly, she has a good attitude and knows what she should/shouldn't do and just kinda rolls with the days now.
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Best one I have heard is: "Can't come to work, 'cause my butt is bleeding". Sounds pretty foolproof, I don't think anyone would ask you to elaborate.
I've had bosses before that'd tell ya to strap a feminine pad to your arse and get it in to work...
The best one I ever heard Was when I worked at G.M. These 4 millwrights hit the lotto. they got like 3 mil each after it was all over & done with. One guy on afternoons. was listening to the news on his radio. And heard the numbers. Checked his copy of the ticket. Well about 2 hrs later. His boss was asking everyone where he was. No one knew. One guy when out to see if he was in his truck. Came back in and said. Ya know what. I parked next to him when we came in tonight. the only thing there is his work boots. His truck is gone. The next morning the other guys called in said they couldn't make it in. Well You have to give an excuse when you call in. So they told the sec that answered the phone was they hit the lotto. All she said was I understand!! No one ever saw them guys at work again. they left their tool boxes , clothes, Can't blame them. Now that the best one I ever heard!
Hi, I can't come in....................ever again. lol
Funny... that's actually almost exactly what a guy at the office said when he quit. He called and said: "I'm not coming in today.... Well, you know, as a matter of fact, I will never come in again. Bye."
Employee: I can't come in for the next couple of days.
me: Why not?
Employee: Hurricane Katrina, we have to leave because we live near the water.
me: Wow, that must be a HUGE hurricane.
employee: Yeah, why do you say that?
me: We're in South Carolina and the hurricane is hitting Louisiana but you have to evacuate.
employee: I am trying to keep my family safe.
me: Try keeping them fed when I tell the unemployment office you quit.
me: Why not?
Employee: Hurricane Katrina, we have to leave because we live near the water.
me: Wow, that must be a HUGE hurricane.
employee: Yeah, why do you say that?
me: We're in South Carolina and the hurricane is hitting Louisiana but you have to evacuate.
employee: I am trying to keep my family safe.
me: Try keeping them fed when I tell the unemployment office you quit.
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Had one of the mechanics call the boss at the VW shop and say his wife had him handcuffed to the bed while he was asleep because she worked graveyard and wanted him there when she got home to celibrate their 2nd anniversery!:thumbsup:
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I use to tell me boss " I COULDNT GET OFF OF IT"
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One of my favorites was my employee that was a chronic sick leave abuser. We were a 24/7 facility so people had different days off to provide coverage.
This guy, I'll call him James (Because that was his name... ) calls in about 2am for his shift that morning. He's sounds REALLY sick if you know what I mean...:sad:
He won't be in... he's really sick... I just said ok James hope your better soon. I hung up and busted out laughing.. it was his scheduled day off!
This guy, I'll call him James (Because that was his name...
) calls in about 2am for his shift that morning. He's sounds REALLY sick if you know what I mean...:sad: He won't be in... he's really sick... I just said ok James hope your better soon. I hung up and busted out laughing.. it was his scheduled day off!
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Michael "...it's red and swollen."I can't wait to use the one from "The Office"...
"Uhm, yeah, I can't come into work because I burned my foot on my George Forman grill this morning...."
You gotta watch "The Office" for the explaination....I am LMAO thinking about it.
Dwight "That's what she said"
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Funny stuff. LOL
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I had a kid who was habitually late. But at least he showed up. So one day, I told him he's going to have to get better at being on time. He says he catches the first bus every morning, and it makes him late. He also tells me he has to walk a couple blocks to catch the bus. So I drop him off one day, and observe a bus stop almost directly across the parking lot from his apartment door. I check the schedule, and lo and behold, he's catching the second bus every day. I tell him he's going to have to catch that first one instead. So for a couple weeks, he's on time. Then one morning, he asks me "can I catch the second bus? The first one puts me here a half hour before work starts, and I'd rather sleep a bit longer." Long story short, I told that to the lady at the unemployment office when they were trying to determine if he can collect or not. :noway: She got a good laugh out of it too.
So one day, I told him he's going to have to get better at being on time. He says he catches the first bus every morning, and it makes him late. He also tells me he has to walk a couple blocks to catch the bus. So I drop him off one day, and observe a bus stop almost directly across the parking lot from his apartment door. I check the schedule, and lo and behold, he's catching the second bus every day. I tell him he's going to have to catch that first one instead. So for a couple weeks, he's on time. Then one morning, he asks me "can I catch the second bus? The first one puts me here a half hour before work starts, and I'd rather sleep a bit longer." Long story short, I told that to the lady at the unemployment office when they were trying to determine if he can collect or not. :noway: She got a good laugh out of it too. 1 - 20 of 31 Posts
