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Someone in another post today mentioned “elbow grease”. It reminded me of a friend who pretended he knew the meaning, but didn’t. It was 8th grade wood shop class (1977) and the teacher was having us get the machines ready after they had sat all summer in the humid shop. The teacher was explaining how we were to use steel wool to get the surface rust off the machined surfaces and it might take some “elbow grease”. Everybody’s working away and Bill starts going there all the storage cabinets. The teacher says “Bill – what are you looking for?” the room comes to a silence Bill replies “I am looking for the elbow grease”. Bill learned what elbow grease meant after that.

Any others out there with similar misunderstandings?
 

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The elbo grease my shop teacher referred to is the Vulcan death grip he applied to you right above your elbo when ever he caught you acting up or talking when you were supposed to be shutup. He was pretty good at catching that funny bone nerve. Coincidentally this was my 8th shop class which I had in 1977 to I'm pretty sure. Can you imagine a teacher doing that nowadays? You'd be so rich from the lawsuit settlement you wouldn;t even need to finish 8th grade.
 

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I bet "Bill" is on some wood working site at this time typing up a post about how all the fools in his woodshop class were dumb enough to think he was serious when he said he was looking for elbow grease. :D:p
 

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I work with a kid who is learning about diesels otj. He's always making up his own names for parts. Once I figure out what he's talkin' about, it takes about 10 minutes of browbeating him over it for him to get the terms right. :D
 

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One time we convinced one of the office nerds to call for parts because it was super busy and we didn't have time. What did we need? A flux capacitor for a Mazda. We thought it was hilarious, he didn't share our view, though.
 

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I worked in a hardware store. We had a sweet old lady come in claiming her husband had sent her into the store to buy a bastard. She was so embarrassed to utter the word. She was really relived when we sold her a flat file. :)
 

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This seems kind of appropriate here.......


Alan was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his lady friend Sheila to Home Depot. At Home Depot, Sheila saw a beautiful bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt the manager to finish waiting on a customer. When Walt was finished with the costumer, Sheila asked 'How much for that faucet?' Walt replied, 'That's pewter and it costs $300.' 'My goodness that sure is a lot of money!' Sheila exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Alan had sent her to buy, and Walt went to the back room to find it. From the back room Walt yelled, 'Sheila, you wanna screw for that hinge?' Sheila replied, 'No, but I will for the faucet.'



.................. And this is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot.
 

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One time we convinced one of the office nerds to call for parts because it was super busy and we didn't have time. What did we need? A flux capacitor for a Mazda. We thought it was hilarious, he didn't share our view, though.
I used to work in a large cabinet shop, and it was standard procedure to ask the new guys to get the board stretcher. They could spend hours walking around looking and asking for this tool, and one of them even went to the owner and complained about how difficult it was to find things in the shop. The owner listened to his rant and replied: "Have you looked in the basement?" The shop, of course, did not have a basement.
 

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I once bought a used commode at a salvage store just for a work area in my basement, Brought in home on the back of my truck, while it was still on the truck I soaped it down and filled the tank, when I pulled the handle and flushed it out my wife asked How did I do that with no electricty going to it.
 

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I used to work in a large cabinet shop, and it was standard procedure to ask the new guys to get the board stretcher. They could spend hours walking around looking and asking for this tool, and one of them even went to the owner and complained about how difficult it was to find things in the shop. The owner listened to his rant and replied: "Have you looked in the basement?" The shop, of course, did not have a basement.
we had a similar tool in the truss factory i spent 9 years working at- only we kept our board stretcher in the attic.. at one end of the shop- a huge old converted warehouse with 30 foot ceilings- there was a set of stairs that started about 10 feet off the ground (you needed a ladder just to get to them) that went up to a door at the peak of the roof to allow people to get onto the roof to shovel snow off in the winter. i don't even know how many 18 year old kids straight out of high school that we got with that one.. some guys told them it was in the basement- a locked door that led to nowhere on one end of the shop, with a key to the padlock hanging on a nail on the other end of the shop by the stairs to the attic..
another trick we used to play on new kids was whenever a hydraulic line would blow on one of the presses, we would send the new guy back into the saw room to get some "2400 grade" saw dust to soak up the oil.. for those not in the know- 2400 is a lumber grade. we always told them it worked better than the crappy #2 or even 1650 saw dust.. at first, the saw guys would tell them it was kept in the other saw room- 200 feet away. after a while, one of the saw guys always kept a barrel full of sawdust behind one of the saws that said "2400" on it.
 

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I used to work in a large cabinet shop, and it was standard procedure to ask the new guys to get the board stretcher. They could spend hours walking around looking and asking for this tool, and one of them even went to the owner and complained about how difficult it was to find things in the shop. The owner listened to his rant and replied: "Have you looked in the basement?" The shop, of course, did not have a basement.
Similar story when I used to work at a mattress factory. We would alway ask a new guy to take a twin size spring down to the basement and use the spring strecher to make it a full size bed. It was a metal building without a basement of course.
 

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when i was a kid, i worked in parts store owned by a legenday radio host in l.a. i think he still has a weekend show, where you call in and he gives answers to people having car trouble. his parts shop was across from cbs studios, and we'd get our share of celebs in.

one day i hear the guys snikering, as i look up, loni anderson is standing in front of my counter.....
"ahhhhh, yessss mamam"
"I NEED A 710 CAP"
"huh mam, what was that?"
"I NEED A NEW 710 CAP FOR MY 450"
"mam, i'm not sure what your asking for"
"MY 450 IS SMOKING, AND I FRIEND TOLD ME I NEEDED A NEW CAP TO KEEP THE OIL OF MY ENGINE, HE EVEN GAVE ME A NOTE WITH WHAT I NEEDED"
"mam, do you need an oil cap?"
she turned about three shades of red. after that she came in from time to time, and she was always the nicest lady, always happy and funny, and i know she didn't own much of what she had, but she was still very attractive......
 

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I will admit that when I started this hobby I thought a small block and short block were the same thing. I don't remember if I asked the difference or if I read a post explaining the difference.
Playing jokes on newbies should be another thread :)
 

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My brother in law is a plumber and was working at a friends house. He needed to run a water line from the basement to the new third floor bath.The owner's wife asked him"How are you going to get a pipe that long into the house?"
 

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My brother in law is a plumber and was working at a friends house. He needed to run a water line from the basement to the new third floor bath.The owner's wife asked him"How are you going to get a pipe that long into the house?"
I hope she looked like Loni Anderson :)
 

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my youngest son doesn't know the meaning of the word "work":sad:
 
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