I just had another bad day in the line of several and I don't know how much longer I can hang on. I'll give a little background. I lost my job in April and have been out of work since then. My household income dropped by about $3,700 per month. We're barely making the bills and am sliding backwards at a constantly accelerating rate. I had a health flex account that my last employer said I would keep until the end of the year. I found out a month later, they closed it right before my family was going into the dentist for yearly checkups. Kick in the pants #1. I work a part time job that I've been trying to get full time work at for the last 5 months. Every time I go in, they said try in June, July, for sure in August, try September, now they are saying February. Kick in the pants #'s 2-5. My wife has been hounding me every day to get a job and has basically lost any respect for me in the process. Now I'm just that son of a bitch that put us in this situation. We lost $60,000 on a house we had to sell to move here so I could keep working because the previous company was getting vaporized and the area had no manufacturing. Figured we could make that up with this house we bought as a forclosure. Kick in the pants #6. We had a piece of land for sale for the previous year before I lost my job. We kept dropping the price well below market value. The bank forclosed on it last month because I felt having a family that had shelter and food on the table was a higher priority. Today a sherrif stops at my door and hands me a Citation letter stating the bank is suing us for $8,600 to cover the difference between the selling price of the lot vs what our loan was. We already lost $22,000 on the damn lot as it was, now we get to pay out even more. Kick in the pants #7. My self worth is next to nothing, I don't have any confidence in myself anymore. If I wasn't afraid of going to hell, I would pull a big life insurance policy and get in a head on collision with a semi. At least then my family's finances would be taken care of. I thought 2007 was the worst year of my life, now 2009 is way out in front. I hope I don't come off as a whiny brat, but damnit, I've had enough. I know I'm not the only guy out there going thru this crap. I sure could use some prayers about now.
Mind if I blow off some steam?
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Chin up at least you're still above ground man, I wish you the best!
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Blow off all the steam you want. Do it here. There's a lot of guys here that have been through what you are experiencing to varying degrees. I have, maybe not to this extent. There are also a lot of guys that understand the power of prayer and will keep you and your family in their prayers.
I know it sounds impossible, but try to focus on small positives that occur daily. The end result will be the sum of all those small pluses.
Best of luck. Hang tough.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
I know it sounds impossible, but try to focus on small positives that occur daily. The end result will be the sum of all those small pluses.
Best of luck. Hang tough.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Wow, I don't know what to say except I will pray for you. I know every time I think it can't get any worse for me, I just keep thinking how God will not give anyone more than can handle. If you believe that, then that means you can handle it. I'm guessing that your family and friends would rather have you here and broke, then having to go to your funeral. There is a book Dave Ramsey, (a financial guy on the radio and TV), always recommends that I just started reading. It's at least giving me hope that I too will find a job, lost mine in July. It's called 48 Days To The Work You Love. Guessing it would be at the library. Besides praying, it would at least be a positive step forward, and God knows you need something positive. Please hang in there.
I wish there was something that I could do to help. I do not like seeing anyone suffer and struggle and yet the more I look around the more hardship I see out there. All I can say is don't give up, look where you wouldn't expect to find what you need.
If it is any comfort, your family needs you, look inward for strength and outward for hope.
If it is any comfort, your family needs you, look inward for strength and outward for hope.
Agreed, believe it or not, it could get alot worse!
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I have never prayed much......... but, I find myself saying "God help us" a lot these days. I hope things get better for you very soon.
Kevin we have a guy that gives financial advice around here called Dave Ramsey. He has a syndicated radio show that I'm not sure if it reaches you. You can also reach him on line. You need to get a hold of him for advice and read his book. Food and shelter is no. one. If you have any money in a bank that your living on you need to shelter or hide it some how or the bank with the land will snatch it with a court order and you need that money right now. If you don't have any don't worry about the bank they aren't doing anything till you have some money. Get a copy of Dave Ramsey's book called Financial Peace. Its real easy to read and understand and it can help you. Hang in there and I'll pray for ya also. There is no easy out as what you talked about devastates a family even if they get a financial reward. Hang in there.
These are the times when you really find out what you're made of.
Reach deep down inside and grab hold. You know you can work your way through this stuff.
You WILL get through it- all of it, and things will be okay again. Work with your wife as a team. You'll show her how good you are and how strong you can be by working it all out.
Be the good, strong, honest, hardworking man you know you are, and go after the success you know is within your grasp.
Reach deep down inside and grab hold. You know you can work your way through this stuff.
You WILL get through it- all of it, and things will be okay again. Work with your wife as a team. You'll show her how good you are and how strong you can be by working it all out.
Be the good, strong, honest, hardworking man you know you are, and go after the success you know is within your grasp.
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Hey Kevin (and others),
There is help to be found from the encouraging words of others... there is help to be found in a financial book like the Ramsey book mentioned... but there is HOPE to be found in a relationship with One who loves you more than you can even imagine. He can and will change your life. I'd be glad to share that hope with you if you want to e-mail [email protected]
There is help to be found from the encouraging words of others... there is help to be found in a financial book like the Ramsey book mentioned... but there is HOPE to be found in a relationship with One who loves you more than you can even imagine. He can and will change your life. I'd be glad to share that hope with you if you want to e-mail [email protected]
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Not sure how your laws work in the U.S. but if the bank repossesses something here in Canada, that means that they are taking it for what is left owing on it. Unless.... you have used something else such as the home you are in now as collateral. They also have to try to get fair market value for anything they repossess. Anything over and above what you have left owing is your money and they must turn it over to you.
Thanks for the responses. I really don't have anyone in my life to share these things with and I appreciate the support. My wife is pretty worn out with talking about this stuff and it usually turns into an argument or worse. My wife and I did go thru the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University last winter. A fellow TC member sent the DR book to us last fall. We read both his books. We had all debts paid off except for the lot and our house mortgage. Just when for once in my life I thought things would get better, I lost my job 2 weeks after the class was done. Thank God we did the university, or we would have credit card debt on top of everything else. We learned a lot about budgeting and how to live a financially sane life. I kept Food, Shelter, Transportation, Clothing as top priority which is why the lot went to foreclosure. We have 5 months living expenses saved up in the bank. Not the same one that did the forclosure but a local bank. Should I pull it all out? TCSS1970 recommended I do that. Wouldn't the bank be able to subpeona bank records and see I pulled the money out after we received the citation notice? I know I really should hang tough with all of this. I always said a person's true charactor shows best when they are under pressure. Unfortunately I don't like what I see of my true charactor. I've just fallen apart. I just feel like I've been kicked one too many times. I've never been a prayerful person. I've had a lifetime of anger toward God. It seems like when things are going okay, I try to get closer to God and the bottom falls out from underneath me every time. I should give prayer another chance. Davoaz mentioned I could beat the $8600 rap. How can I? What can I do? I have 20 days to submit a contest letter to the district court or I will have a default judgement against me. How do I do that? What should the letter say? I don't have a clue when it comes to legal stuff. I've never had to deal with it before. The lot loan was its own entity. We didn't use our house or anything else as collateral so I don't think they could come in and take our house. The bank sold the lot for way under market value. We paid $63,000 and had approx $43,000 loan on it. They sold it for $37,900 and are coming after us for the difference plus expenses. Any advice on that other than bend over and take it in the tailpipe?
Thanks again for all the support.
Kevin C
Thanks again for all the support.
Kevin C
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318 Posts
So why be mad at God?
Kevin, do you know anyone that can give you some legal advice? Sounds like you need that info if want to challenge the bank. Is there anything local that can give you free legal advice? Is there anyone here that can give this guy some advice about the land and bank issue?
Good luck Kevin, things will turn around. Daren
Good luck Kevin, things will turn around. Daren
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Not sure if this applies or not, but here goes...
I work as a subcontractor on large multi family projects like condos and apartment complexes. One job I did was poorly managed on the general contractor level and the thing took ages to complete. We never came to an agreement on final payment at the end. We thought they owed us about $120K and they thought they owed us about $15K. Big difference, and due to changing plans and specs, what was in our bid vs what was built, they thought we were slow, we thought they were slow, etc. Bottom line is that we were over $105K off on what we thought should be paid at the end. We could not come to an agreement on what amount was equitable for both parties. We ended up suing them and getting a default judgment against them in the county we liened the property in. This doesn't mean they paid us that amount. It just means that the judge said that they should pay us that money. The general contractor still had 30 days to file a motion to dismiss (or something like that) the default judgment, which they did. If they hadn't responded in 30 days, we'd have filed another motion for demanding the actual money and it would have been legally binding at that point.
Well the GC did file a motion to dismiss, with all of their evidence in their behalf. This basically prompted us to pretty much split the difference between what we thought we deserved and what they thought we deserved. The entire court proceeding was used as a means of getting both parties to negotiate more reasonably. Now if we didn't feel like accepting something less than that $120K retainage or what they ended up offering, we were still in the driver's seat with the default judgment already in our favor and we could have gone to battle with the larger gun.
I see my company's position as similar to your bank's position. Let me put myself in their shoes. We have a default judgment against you. I am trying to get as much as possible out of you because my bank took a bath as well. I do not have access to your financials when I file for this lawsuit. As such I used this lawsuit to bring you to the table for negotiation purposes and in order to do those negotiations from an upper hand.
My personal feeling is that the bank will likely play ball but I am not sure if they'll insist on driving you to bankruptcy or close to it. If you did purchase that property in your own name you are liable for repaying those debts.
Also, that said, I know you're in a tough spot. Sometimes during tough times people look at themselves and their previous job and hope to get one that has similar pay/description/challenge/benefits/fill-in-the-blank as the one before. This is not always possible. If necessary to keep the family fed, get a job at night while still searching during the day, or ask the wife to start working. Sell non-essentials. Turn down the heat and wear sweaters. Clip coupons. Pray for help and mean it.
I'm pulling for all my TC brothers and sisters!
I work as a subcontractor on large multi family projects like condos and apartment complexes. One job I did was poorly managed on the general contractor level and the thing took ages to complete. We never came to an agreement on final payment at the end. We thought they owed us about $120K and they thought they owed us about $15K. Big difference, and due to changing plans and specs, what was in our bid vs what was built, they thought we were slow, we thought they were slow, etc. Bottom line is that we were over $105K off on what we thought should be paid at the end. We could not come to an agreement on what amount was equitable for both parties. We ended up suing them and getting a default judgment against them in the county we liened the property in. This doesn't mean they paid us that amount. It just means that the judge said that they should pay us that money. The general contractor still had 30 days to file a motion to dismiss (or something like that) the default judgment, which they did. If they hadn't responded in 30 days, we'd have filed another motion for demanding the actual money and it would have been legally binding at that point.
Well the GC did file a motion to dismiss, with all of their evidence in their behalf. This basically prompted us to pretty much split the difference between what we thought we deserved and what they thought we deserved. The entire court proceeding was used as a means of getting both parties to negotiate more reasonably. Now if we didn't feel like accepting something less than that $120K retainage or what they ended up offering, we were still in the driver's seat with the default judgment already in our favor and we could have gone to battle with the larger gun.
I see my company's position as similar to your bank's position. Let me put myself in their shoes. We have a default judgment against you. I am trying to get as much as possible out of you because my bank took a bath as well. I do not have access to your financials when I file for this lawsuit. As such I used this lawsuit to bring you to the table for negotiation purposes and in order to do those negotiations from an upper hand.
My personal feeling is that the bank will likely play ball but I am not sure if they'll insist on driving you to bankruptcy or close to it. If you did purchase that property in your own name you are liable for repaying those debts.
Also, that said, I know you're in a tough spot. Sometimes during tough times people look at themselves and their previous job and hope to get one that has similar pay/description/challenge/benefits/fill-in-the-blank as the one before. This is not always possible. If necessary to keep the family fed, get a job at night while still searching during the day, or ask the wife to start working. Sell non-essentials. Turn down the heat and wear sweaters. Clip coupons. Pray for help and mean it.
I'm pulling for all my TC brothers and sisters!
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