Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, here's the deal. The wife and I have been looking for a nice late 90's suburban for a few weeks now to replace our '97 AWD Astro conversion van. We are going to be doing some light trailering and wanted the piece of mind of a larger/more stable towing vehicle. I won't mention any specific names of dealerships or salespeople, but I feel like I was getting jerked around BIG TIME by a certain big city dealer this last week. We were out of state for a conference, and stopped in to one of the big GM dealers in a certain big city. We found a decent looking '98 Suburban and started poking around. Salesperson #1 starts walking over and we start talking about the truck and I ask to see in side/start it up that sort of thing. Ok. Here's where the BS starts to flow. First of all, the guy can't even get the hood open on the truck. I am looking through the codes in the glovebox for rear end ratio/limited slip/trailering package codes, etc. . . and this guy is really getting his butt kicked by the little hood latch. I come out and lift the latch with my index and middle finger and raise the hood with the same hand. One point for me, zero for dealership. Upon seeing the engine, I notice that it has a big K+N cone filter and relocated airbox. It's kind of hard to miss. Salesperson #1 notices this and proceeds to tell me how this magical air filter acts like a turbocharger and 'sucks in' more air than normal and increases hp and mileage. He starts the engine and puts his hand over the filter noting said sucking effect. Oh BTW, he has to rev the engine three or four times after starting it to impress me. Sorry guy, I have a 450 hp big block at home, you ain't impressing anybody. Ok, whatever, this guy has no clue what he's talking about. As the engine is running he proceeds to clue me in to the many technical innovations made to automobiles in the past, oh, twenty or so years. Like the fact that this engine has a serpentine belt (really? WOW!) and that the pull loops for the trans./engine dipsticks are rubber coated so that retards like me don't burn ourselves. Generally I am ignoring salesperson #1 at this point and checking more important things, namely is the trans fluid cooked/obvious leaks/noises/fliuds etc . . . SOOOOooo the next step is the test drive! I am pretty psyched up about this, not only to feel the added horsepower of the pseudo-turbocharger, but also to listen to more of salesperson #1's rantings and half-baked stories. We take it out a few miles. It generally performs well. Nothing to complain about. Probably a good deal based on the miles and condition of the truck. Next step is to determine trade value on our Astro. We sit in the lobby and I take advantage of all the free stuff that I can (hey, can I get a Coke?). Because I feel I've earned it after automotive 101 with Captain Obvious Salesperson #1. I poke around the Corvette convertiable and new Impala SS a little bit. Now before we go on, a little about my van. It's a 1997 Astro AWD with 89,000 on the clock. It's a nice conversion van. Nothing mechanically wrong. Book value is in the $4800-$5000 range. I figure I should do allright here. Enter Salesperson #2. This is like good cop/bad cop I guess. Salesperson #2 basically informs me that my van is only good for wholesale value ($700!?!?) since it is - get this - too old to be listed in Kelly Blue book! And it has a lot of miles (89,000 is a lot for a '97?)! I proceed to ask him if he indeed was looking at my van. He goes into his pitch about how much he is losing on the suburban and how other dealers will mark up their prices to cover your trade, how he won't BS his customers, how they're the oldest dealership west of the Mississippi, how he has the cure for AIDS, etc. . . And tries to get me to look at payment plans. At this point I am trying to hold back my laughter so hard I feel that I'm about to soil myself so I tell them that I'll have to think about it and I have to get back to my conference (which I really did). Needless to say, I didn't go back. What is with salespeople like this? I realize that being a new car dealer he is maybe not too psyched up about selling an older car like this, but what happened to not assuming the buyer is a total retard?!?