[John D]

We've all got 'em - those "you gotta see this" or "you ain't gonna believe this" calls... here's a few of my most recent.


"High Priority - Must Repair Today"!!
One of our customers had a rooftop camera that looks at their parking lot go down.

"It worked fine until last night - then the picture got all fuzzy & static, then nothing. This morning it works sometimes, but the picture (when it works) is really out of focus."

(We had about 3" of rain in the last 36 hours)

We also do a lot of work in an area hospital. I was walking through the Psych Ward and saw this office.

(Too bad she's not a urologist!)

 

[65cayne]

not a service call...but I work with Steve Miller, Michael Jackson, and Tim Taylor (not the real ones of course...

 

[zeke67]

When I was working as a mechanic, the other two guys in the shop went on a service call to pick up a car (that's why there were two, one was giving the other a ride). The car is parked right near the river bank. They get into an argument about who is the better swimmer and race to swim across it. They strip down to their shorts for the race, but the one that was wearing boxes lost them in the contest.

I can vouch for the swimming, they came backed soaked. I can't vouch for the lost drawers, but they were laughing so hard I say there is enough circumstantial evidence.

 

[carpoor]

I used to work for a residential home builder in the area. I started in purchasing, then moved to production, and as the boom slowed to a halt - I ended up as a rep in warranty. I got a call from some dizzy broad at 3am in the morning once, her garbage disposal was broken and she needed it fixed now. She was making drinks and it was an emergency. Mind you, it's 3am on a Wednessday morning. I hung up, and shut my phone off, went back to sleep. I awoke around 6:30 am, turned my phone back on. Had a full voice MB. All irate mesages from this crazy lady. I blow it off for the entire day, but call the electrician and plumber and ask them for a favor. I showed up Thursday morning at 5am sharp, woke her happy ass up. "I'm here to get you garbage disposal figured out." She was pissed, but let us in. The plumber starts to check it out, finds a crap ton of pineapple rinds and other fruit wastes jambed in there. We clean it out, but the motor on it is toast.

I go back to the office and tell my supervisor about it, let him hear her messages, etc. When he finally got done laughing, he told me to go ahead and give her a new disposal this time, but next time it's on her tab.

I laugh about it now, but when she woke me up at 3am, I wanted to step on her throat.

 

[sschevellefan]

When I was wrenching I had a "long time rder" bring his bike in for something simple,can`t remember what though. Anyway, he waited, took about 10 minutes and I parked it outside for him. He goes outside and comes right back in saying he`s hitting the starter but nothing is happening and it was working just fine when he brought it in. So I go out and take a look. He shows me, "see, I hit the starter and nothing." So I take a look for a second, reach over and hit the run/stop switch to run, say try it now and just smiled at him with a "your a idiot" look on my face. He did the embarassed smile, mumbled something and rode away.

 

[Georgia69]

I drove a delivery truck for Sears many moons ago, and I was asked to deliver a fairly pricey new pool table to the buyer's home. Turned out to be a home with wheels...a house trailer...A MOBILE HOME. A helper and I had to actually wedge this thing through the front door, assemble it in the front room, and put the slate on it.

 

[DaleM]

Working as a computer tech invites a lot of funny situations.

Back in the day of 5 1/4" floppies a user called to say she thought a file on a disk was corrupt. I told her to make a copy of the disk and sent it to my office in a shotgun envelope. You guessed it, she Xeroxed a copy of the disk and sent me the paper copy. I'm sure she was wondering how I could diagnose the file error with a 'copy of the disk.'

Remember when NT used to crash all the time with the blue screen of death? Man calls to say his computer crashed and has a blue screen with all sorts of stuff on the screen. Explained it happens often and simply reboot his machine and call me back when it's up and running. Not 10 seconds went by and he called and said it did it again. Now, it takes about a minute for Windows to come up after being powered off so I was naturally suspicious. I finally had to go to his PC and watch what he was doing. When I arrived, sure enough, there was the BSOD. I asked him to reboot the machine again and, well, his action was to turn the monitor off then back on. So much for that...l

 

[cv67]

"Hi, I have an emergency my pool is flooding over"

"I know, its raining hard thats to be expected in a torrential downpour."

:Cant you do something?"

"I cant raindance or anything but unless your backyard is sealed it wont get any more rainwater than if you had no pool at all"

"@#% you, youre very unprofessional".

Click.

 

[Krister]

Back in high school I worked at a Goodyear tire. On the tire flat repairs that had nails or screws in them we would say as an innuendo the tire got “nailed” or “screwed”. Well I just got done fixing a flat and brought the paper work to the service writer to close out the ticket. With the gray haired lady customer standing at the counter he asked what I found in the tire? Quietly under my breath I told him the tire got “screwed”. Well she over heard me and caught us both by surprise when she said “lucky tire”.

 

[Bad66Chevelle454]

I worked as a mechanic right out of high school.

Customer decided to change his own oil. And he did. But then couldnt figure out why it was running bad. Brought it into us...and the motor was FULL of oil. He thought it took 30 quarts to fill the entire engine...till it was literally full.

 

[Dean]

Our business phone being one digit different than a doctors office made for many laughs when people would ask about their test results and we would say "this is a plumbing shop"

I had a lady come into the gas station where I worked, carrying a gas can.
She asked "what type of gas do I need for an electric lawn mower?

 

[steve_sutherland]

Back in high school I worked at a Goodyear tire. On the tire flat repairs that had nails or screws in them we would say as an innuendo the tire got “nailed” or “screwed”. Well I just got done fixing a flat and brought the paper work to the service writer to close out the ticket. With the gray haired lady customer standing at the counter he asked what I found in the tire? Quietly under my breath I told him the tire got “screwed”. Well she over heard me and caught us both by surprise when she said “lucky tire”.

l

 

[zeke67]

Back in the days when I was a mechanic, we'd get customers that had bought new tires, but would come back if one was low. Typically, there would be a screw or nail. About a third of the people would say "but the tires are new" as if they wouldn't have to pay for the patch somehow.

I learned that the best response was "the nail didn't know that".

 

[70SS540]

My Father was a service manager at a Ford dealership back in the 70s. A black woman dropped her car off for service. When she called to check on it, my father told her the mechanic was working on it at the moment trying to figure out why the engine was "missing"
Her response was loud and quick. "What chu talkin bout, that engine was in that car when I brought it in there!! I'm gonna sue ya all!!
He about fell on the ground laughing.

 

[jpete]

"Hi, I have an emergency my pool is flooding over"

"I know, its raining hard thats to be expected in a torrential downpour."

:Cant you do something?"

"I cant raindance or anything but unless your backyard is sealed it wont get any more rainwater than if you had no pool at all"

"@#% you, youre very unprofessional".

Click.

I had a bunch of these. I think MAD Magazine used to call them "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"

While working at Advance Auto, a woman was looking at one of those golfball sized compasses with the suction cup. She turned it over and over and finally said "How is it powered?" so I said "The Earth."