SIL going to sell MIL house - Chevelle Tech
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post #1 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 5:04 PM Thread Starter
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SIL going to sell MIL house

My SIL sent an email to my wife (wifes the older of the 2) that she's going to sell their moms condo, my MIL moved in with them last Saturday, she apparently has dementia recently, they live about 1,000 mi. away, my MIL has a will and also told my wife she paid someone to come and lock the condo up if she has to go to a home, she's 91, we spoke to her 2 weeks ago and she seemed fine, I told my wife her sis must have executive power or something if she's able to do that but wife said no she doesn't or mom would have told me, SIL and MIL live in Indiana so would anyone here on TC know if this is legal if SIL has no power of atty. or anything similar? her husbands also in real estate and sounds like he's making a deal with someone this or next week and my wife needs to get there asap if she wants any of her moms (very nice) things, doesn't this happen after someone passes and not before? MIL has an atty. but we don't know who


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Last edited by shovelrick; Oct 2nd, 19 at 5:06 PM. Reason: more text
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post #2 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 5:16 PM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

She could not sell the house without your mother in law signing the paperwork since she is still alive or without power of attorney. I would be booking a plane ticket if it were my mom.

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post #3 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 5:24 PM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

Rick,

I have a very good friend going through this same thing right now. My advice to you is to get on the phone and call a good estate type attorney near you and go talk to him asap, like tomorrow. He can tell you what needs to be done and believe me you cannot screw around with it time wise. Whatever he charges you will be well worth it. My friend's out of state relations tried the same thing and it has turned into a gigantic legal mess. Your Wife probably needs to let her sister know that you are contacting an attorney and she should not do anything until then.

Do not wait even a minute before making a call !!!!
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post #4 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 5:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

Calling an atty. is the first thing I said well find out her moms atty. but wife contacted her older bro, he's the oldest and doesn't seem to care, "have an estate sale I'm moving back to tialand next year", our Gson will be here Saturday from Ky for a week and going there now isn't an option but calling an atty. is, I'm thinking hiring one there? or would it be better to hire one local to me?


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post #5 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 6:00 PM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

I can't offer any advice, just know whatever happens, relationships will get damaged, feelings will get hurt, and it'll end badly. I've seen it enough to know when people start fighting over someone else's property, it goes south fast. I find it best to just walk away and let the jackals have at it. The only ones who end up smiling in the end are the lawyers.
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post #6 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 6:12 PM
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I would go talk to somebody local to you and have them tell you the best way to proceed. I personally would prefer to deal with someone local at least at first so you can see how in person, not long distance over the phone.
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post #7 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 6:14 PM
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If I didn't emphasize it enough, you need to do it now. Stop screwing around on the internet and call an attorney.
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post #8 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 6:17 PM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

I once needed some legal advice and found this plan to work well. Call your local bar association.( Mine was the county bar.) Tell them the basic nature of the problem or what you need. They will set up a consultation for you with a lawyer that concentrates on your area of need. It cost me $30 for an hour. I talked it over with the lawyer and agreed on a course of action. For a few dollars more my problem was behind me in about 3 days. Mission accomplished at an affordable price.
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post #9 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 6:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

My wife looked for attorneys near her moms address and called 1 as it was 4:30pm, they said $350 for an over the phone consultation my wife's trying to find her moms atty. right now (I'm surprised she didn't know) we can't understand the reasoning for her sister wanting to sell her moms condo so fast, her sister did say nobody wants to buy/move when it's snowing but now her sis wont respond when my wife asked her an hour ago does she have power of atty? and thought these matters would be handled after her death and what if mom needs the property $ for an assisted living facility? I'm starting to think my SIL is in some serious debt, I'm calling an atty. in the morning, my wife could only talk to her mom while she was on speaker phone a couple days ago and sis kept speaking for her mom, pretty screwed up IMO


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post #10 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 8:05 PM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

Maybe Iím missing a nuance or something but if your mil is of sound mind, your wife needs to talk to her mother without the company of her sister and understand what motherís wishes are. Mother may tell your wife what her wishes are. If she canít function without the sisters presence, does sil have a power of attorney? If so, are are you willing to fight, and for what? If so, Iíd get your own attorney.

Been there, done that with the family scars to show for it.
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post #11 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 9:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

My wife asked her sister if she had power of atty. or any legal right to sell their moms condo and no response, my wife tried calling to speak to her mom but she cant hear my wife when her sisters holding the phone on speaker, her older brother isn't any help, my wife thinks her sister is out for $$$ and wants nothing to do with any of it now (at the moment), I'm calling an atty. in the morning, my wife said her mother told her she was afraid of something like this happening 2 weeks ago when they were talking on the phone from her condo, my wife's not close to her siblings and I see why, MIL told my wife she paid a woman from her atty. office to lock her condo up if she had to go into a hosp. or home so we really need to find who this atty. is, I'm hoping a local atty. can do that or stop her sister from selling MILs condo at least


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post #12 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 10:03 PM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

sorry to hear about what your going thru. we just put my mom in assisted living (early dementia, ) I've got power of atty and I'm on the title to the house. what I found out is if mom is getting any VA benefits she can only have so much money. if your SIL sells the house and your MIL needs state assistance, in arizona the state has a 5 year look back. so if the SIL said the house was given to her, mom isnt getting any assistance for 5 years from when the house was sold and sil takes the money.
We had a estate sale, emptied the house, hired a rental agency and put it up moms house up for rent. Rent mo em goes into a separate acct of mine so mom doesnt make too much money to lose benefits, later on if she needs the money, all the money in the acct is hers.
might want to ask if your SIL theres a 5 year look back on transferring assets. jim
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post #13 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 10:22 PM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

Google "elder care lawyers" and whatever metro area you're closest to you.
you need a specialist and local is usually easiest.
nicely tell your SIL that she is probably moving too fast for your MIL and your comfort.
mention that you'd like to keep things civil but that you've been in touch with an attorney who will contact her if need be.
then, look up the elder abuse laws where your SIL lives and make her aware of them.
if need be, do this: contact the police where she lives and request that they conduct a welfare check on your MIL. the presence of the po po will let your SIL know you're serious and that she will be held accountable for her actions.
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post #14 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 2nd, 19, 10:54 PM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

Iíd check with the county and city your MIL and SIL live in. There is likely a department that has something to do with elder care abuse, touch bases with them. They probably deal with this sort of situation on a regular basis and should be able to help point you in the right direction. Calling the police for a welfare check is a good idea, that may slow them down. Be civil, until itís time not to be civil. Hopefully things turn out well for your wife and MIL.

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post #15 of 54 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 19, 2:11 AM
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Re: SIL going to sell MIL house

Sounds like your wife is lucky she even got an email of the sad news.
Wife needs to talk to SIL and discuss whatever items she wants and try to
find out the plans for the important items.

91yr old MIL is going to do pretty much whatever the folks in front of her ask of her!

Your wife needs to show her face if she really wants to deal with issues across the country. SIL is likely feeling out how much noise your wife is going make.
Many times a death of a parent will blow a family apart
or will pull them together. life sure is not easy.

Hope things settle down soon for all involved.
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