I learned today that a former employee and friend is in the hospital in a coma and not expected to live. She is 38 and was admitted two weeks ago when her body could not keep up with her drinking. Her liver, kidneys and other internal organs were in complete failure. Over the weekend she had a Pulmonary Edema which put her into a coma.

It is sad because she could have done so much more with her life. I only met her a couple of years ago and she worked for me for a couple of months but could not stay focused and keep up with the pace. We talked about it, I suspected what the problem was, but did not know the real extent until after she left. The last year she could not keep a job and her health was deteriorating rapidly.

I'm posting this because everyone thinks the effects of alcoholism strikes much later in life and that they will get it under control later in life. For me the wake up call came in my early 30's when my kids got in grade school and I found the choice was the bottle or spending time with my family.

I don't think she realized how many people this would affect. As word spreads around town its amazing how many people genuinely care about her and are surprised at what has happened. I'm not one to preach but if you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, please evaluate your life and deal with it.

It's hard to face and deal with problems in life but it's something that needs to be dealt with sober. For everyone involved. I'm sorry for your friend and it makes me think of the few people I know that are taking the wrong path, using drugs and alcohol. My heart goes out to every person inflicted with these terrible addictions. This is a very sensitive subject for most, but I do hope everyone takes this to heart.

Stop and think what your family's world would be like if you suddenly weren't there....

yea i guess i should stop binge drinking with the buddies for awhile and let my body heal a little bit. as my dad says all in moderation

Alcohol is a terrible drug and it ruins a lot of otherwise good people.
Sooooo sad.....

I haven't had a drop since Aug 10th, 1990

The 70 Camaro below was bought in 1989 from a friend who died 2 years ago from the same problem. I had always hoped I could get the ground up restoration finished and drive it over to his house for him to see, as he had driven it all through High School, but he died first. graemlins/sad.gif

Nate

Not that I'm one to preach..because I enjoy drinking, but not daily. But I have a friend (female) who's on the fast track to having big problems. The worst part is the core of her life is very stressfull. A husband that could care less about her and three kids 3 years old and under. So when those kids go to bed, she starts to party. Almost every night, and it's 10-12 beers or more. There has been more than one occasion when she's had to be picked up off the floor. She averages about 4 hours of sleep a night. It very sad, because she's a great person. Friends have said comments to her about it, but until she's ready to admit it to herself, nothing is going to change. I know she's doing it to "escape" her life, but I'm afraid that it might not happen before it's too late.

Originally posted by SS3964N8:
Alcohol is a terrible drug and it ruins a lot of otherwise good people.
Sooooo sad.....

I couldn't agree more Nate.

I've seen it happen to so many people.
It all starts out in fun, then after a while they just can't stop.
Even when the Doc says "if you don't quit you are going to die", they keep on drinking.

We have a couple in the family now that just can't/WON'T quit.

But I should talk, I'm killing myself with cigarettes the same way. :(
The only difference is smoking doesn't cause fights and innocent people being killed by drunk drivers or gun fights.

There are only 2 outcomes to the Alcoholic who keeps drinking: Death or Insanity
Drinking is just a symptom of Alcoholism. By the Grace of God I have not had a drink since May 7,1989. I am sorry for your friend. It is truly a horrible disease that devastates many. I am grateful everyday that I do not have to live like that anymore. The compulsion to continue to drink destructively, in spite of friends, family, or doctors telling you to stop, is the insanity of Alcoholism.

Wow, Nate. I quit Aug 20, 1990. Been the best 15 (almost) years of my life!!

Cam

That's really sad. A company I used to work for had a bunch of heavy drinkers - a lot of guys in their 20's with serious alcohol problems.

My son got a DUI when he was 18, just got his license back last October. The drinking age here is 21. Hopefully I helped him get his "mind right". I asked him to take a real hard look at everyone he knows, young and old and people you hear about that you don't know, and asked him to find ONE person whose life was better because s/he drank.

In moderation it's ok, but when it's the focus of your life it, like anything else, doesn't help anybody.

Originally posted by Glenn1018:
In moderation it's ok, but when it's the focus of your life it, like anything else, doesn't help anybody. You're exactly right. Moderation is the key. I'm a social drinker, but I rarely drink enough to get drunk, and NEVER drive impaired.

If people could just understand this, there would be a lot less problems out there.

Nobody wakes up the morning after and regrets drinking one too few.

Patrick, that is so terrible to hear about someone doing this to themselves, and at such a young age. Tragic!

I had an Aunt I never met die at 37 from this disease. It does seem to be genetic. Many of my relatives from my fathers family have been seriously heavy drinkers and many have quit. I am very sorry to hear of your friends condition. Maybe not much hope, but we can all still hope for her to recover. My heart goes out to her family. They may carry a burden of guilt, thinking there was something else they could have done to help her, when the truth is, they couldn't. John Barleycorn is very Cunning, Powerful and Baffling. I hope they can understand, it wasn't them. I quit Sept. 16th, 1981 and have never regretted it.

Originally posted by Marci:
It's hard to face and deal with problems in life but it's something that needs to be dealt with sober.Cant really put it much better then that. Sorry to hear about this Orrie.

Chris.

Thanks for the replys guys, I suspected that out of 10K+ members my situation was not unique. Prognosis is the same, good thing is it has caused a couple of her peers to start reevaluating their situations and opened some dialogue around the lunch tables.

Just old pdq67 rambling on is all.......

We just had a lady at work pass on last Wednesday and were told Thursday afternoon. Some of the ladies went to check on her when she didn't make it in and found her gone! They knew something was up so was watching her....

Anyway, I sometimes make coffee for the "coffee-crew" first thing and was going to razz her Tuesday morning b/c she was losing weight AND I was jealous!! But she was "growling" at somebody else so I went my way!

I kinda always tried to get a grin out of her b/c I could tell she was on the lower end and appeared to have had a hard life!!

Anyway now I wished I had tried harder to start something with her that morning even if she woulda "growled" at me b/c now I know she was dying on her feet as we stood side by side!!

Really makes me sad. Brings a tear...

pdq67

In the last two years I've watched two of my best friends drink themselves to death. They weren't just casual friends but really close ones, one was 37 and one was 46. I tried everything I could to help them...even went so far as to be allowed to sit in at a couple of AA meetings with one(thats typically unheard of). I felt like I had done all I could and to no use. Its really a devasting thing for anyone to have to go through. I'm very sorry for your friend Orrie and will hope and pray for her healing.

My dad's always been a big drinker (thats what caused my parents to seperate when i was 2, Im now 22). My sister just shut him out of her life and she never told him why. I am not as strict and ive always enjoyed my dad's sober company. I have hated his drinking along with everyone else and this last christmas (he was sloshed of course), I sat down with him and told him how everyone, especially his two children felt about his problem. He has always treated me with respect and as an equal human being and i could tell he was seeing through his blurry vision and really taking everything i was saying to heart.
So, after 30 years of irresponsible drinking he finally stopped that night and hasnt touched it since (its only been 2 or so months, but i think it hit him).
I dont know if it runs in the family becasue my sis and I hate drinking, but maybe thats just because we saw what it did to our father. But congrats to him, i have a greater respect for him these days, and now we are going to start our FIRST father-son project restoring a 1966 36' Chriscraft boat! I cant wait.

So congrats to all of you who saw through the fog. That tells alot about you.

Chris (Bubba)

Congrats Nate and Cam,,, I stopped trying to drink myself to death with MR Daniels November 13th 1995,, and as both you,, if only woulda known then what I know now, best 10 years of my life graemlins/thumbsup.gif

I lost one of my brothers on Feb.8th and alcohol was a big contributor to his death. He just didn't think he had a problem.

Some sad stories here - I hope they turn out better.

I have a friend ("Jim") I've known since we were in Jr. high school (1972). We shared some interests (collecting coins, war games, etc.). He was smart (studied chemistry at the Colorado School of Mines).

But he was always the "falling down" drunk at the parties - even way before he was 21.

Over the years I'd keep in touch (we'd sometimes go to coin shows together). But there were times that I wouldn't hear from him for a year or two (like recently).

But a couple weeks ago I got a call from him. He said that Sheriff's Deputies had come to his house and evicted him that morning (they woke him up at gunpoint). He said that they had thrown all his stuff into the front yard. He said he needed help getting a U-Haul truck to load up his stuff. The police had piled up all his things - furniture, coin collection, guns, and two safes in the yard. I asked him "what are you doing now ?" His answer: "I'm at the bar". He was stinking drunk as usual. I told him to get back over to his house and keep an eye on his stuff.

I then found out that he'd lost his driver's license due to (at least one) DUI. So he'd have to walk the 12 blocks from the bar back to his (former) house.

I drove the 50 miles to his house with my El Camino. He was even more drunk when I got there. Some questionable characters were there "helping" him with stuff. He had already given away his 1972 Mustang to the local bartender (it wasn't worth much but it had the original 351 Cleveland in it). He looked like he had aged 15 years in just the last two since I saw him last. A year earlier he had suffered a compound fracture of the nose when he (literally) fell over drunk at the bar.

I didn't go in the house (it was locked up under foreclosure). But from what I could see through the window, it was horrifyingly unsanitary in there.

I took posession of his valuables (coin collection, guns, slot machine, antique toy cars, etc.) and loaded it all into my El Camino. He wanted me to store them. One former co-worker came over and another person rented a big U-Haul truck and dropped it off in front of the house. We loaded stuff for a couple hours. By about 8:00 it was dark and cold and I had to leave.

He literally stunk, and no one wanted to put him up for the night. So we set up a place for him to sleep in the back of the truck. No big deal he said, "I've slept in the yard before".

According to Jim, he had quit his job a few months earlier. According to his former co-worker, he had been fired. Apparently, he just stopped making payments on his house. He didn't have the money for that. But he did always seem to find the money for booze and cigarettes (he smokes and coughs CONSTANTLY).

Apparently, for the next few days (I wasn't there) Jim did nothing but get drunk every day. He did nothing about the U-Haul. Eventually the U-Haul folks came over and took the truck, with half of his stuff in it (the other half was still in the front yard). Then the county sanitation guys came over with a huge dumpster and threw everything else into that.

Jim talked (on the phone) about getting his stuff back from U-Haul, but he never did anything about it.

He asked me to sell some of his coins on eBay and asked if I could "front" him some money. So I deposited some money in his bank to live on for a couple weeks (an advance towards the proceeds from the eBay items).

He's already burned through that and needs to sell more. He's staying at a $20 a night semi-dive motel (one close to a bar, I'm sure).

So now I'm selling off his last remaing assets at a rather rapid pace. I call him up when I make a deposit in his bank. Then I don't hear from him for a couple days until he needs money again.

Jim doesn't seem concerned with what will happen when he runs out of things to sell. I'm not going to loan him any money. He doesn't ask for charity or loans (not yet, anyway). But he shows absolutely no remorse for his actions. He blames no one for his situation, especially not himself. He absolutely does not acknowledge that he has any sort of problem. The only thing I ever heard him say in regret was that he shouldn't have got caught driving under a suspended license. I think he was looking at some jail time, but got out of it somehow (at least for now).

I guess the message of this story is that alcoholism can make a person "give up". Now I see how a lot of "homeless" people end up on the street.

They live to drink, and drink to die.

Was looking back thru some threads and stumbled onto this one.

Congrats Cam. I've got 10 days on ya !

Dan, thats a terrible story and you sure have been there to help. Any new news ? Has your buddy gotten help with his drinking problem. BTW, I collect coins as well !


Nate

Good luck to all of you. My Ex is going on just over 2 years sober after she came close to killing herself and 2 other people in a head on accident.

Was looking back thru some threads and stumbled onto this one.

Dan, thats a terrible story and you sure have been there to help. Any new news ? Has your buddy gotten help with his drinking problem. BTW, I collect coins as well !


Nate

Jim still drinks, maybe less than before. He actually got a good-paying job as a chemist in New Mexico recently. I loaned him $600 so that he could get down there and get set up for the job. He paid that back. So his situation has improved. But I don't think his health will hold out for much longer.

PS: I designed the New York and Rhode Island state quarters for the US Mint. Here is my coin design page:
http://www.designscomputed.com/coins

WOW Dan, beautiful work on those coins.
You should be proud. What an accompishment !

Also glad to hear that Jim is still kickin'.

I should also clarify. I was not an alcoholic. I had many personal conviction type reasons why I quit. One was I watched a HS buddy get a DWI, (WA State), and saw what it did to him mentally, financially, etc, and have watched a family member struggle with alcoholism/coupled with numerous suicide attempts. I've seen the ugliness of this drug first hand.
The added cost of drinking, and the fact that I was not getting anything done while drinking were some of the other reasons I quit. I was also a little curious to see if I was an alcoholic and what these "withdrawal symptoms" were like. Never had any.

Life is better clean and sober.

Nate

Everybody knows someone with the PROBLEM. A girlfriend of mine back in my late teens started to hit the bar circuit when she was 18. I could only handle her problem for a few years and stepped aside but was always friends with her by long distance as she moved to Texas. But she would always contact me the remaining years of her life. She looked an easy 21 and was just a total foxy young girl. That age of starting to party in bars ended her life at 31. Where talking a total Beautiful looking Girl, with a body that could kill, turning into a skinny whiskey voice person. Its a cruel Life for an Alcoholic and the family and friends have to suffer..