Hopefully some of your older wiser individuals can point me in an accurate direction.

I just turned 23 and we started dating when we were 18. Over the past few months we chose to make stupid things into arguments. About a month ago we decided to take a break to clear our heads. After two weeks I agree to change some things and I attend her sister wedding and I think everything is going well. A whole four days later we are together and she wasn't herself nor did she want to talk on the phone like she usually does. So I ask her whats going on? She says I did my part to be a better boyfriend but she wasn't sure about us still. So in the end I told her I would give her some space.

I admit it, during the 4.5 years I may not have been the most romantic boyfriend.
Its been a couple weeks and I haven't talked to her. It hurt so much because I see her smile, hear her laugh and voice multiples time every day. I wish she would have cheated on me at least then I would have a reason I would want to hate her. Its weird being home alone on a friday night. She knows I still love her and miss her everyday. It makes me sick to think of her dating another dude. I really want her back in my life but it sad she doesn't feel the same way. I want to keep telling her she is wrong and we need each other. However I would still want her in my life a friend.

I feel like a douche to make a thread like this, its not very manly. Whats sad I have more time to work on chevelle but it hasn't been touched since we split up.

You are young, stuff like this happens. It just means you are lucky it didn't happen after married and having kids. It hurts, but trust me the hurt goes away in time. Get on with life, don't dwell on the past. When I was young I got a dear John letter from my thhen fiance less than a month after I went to start college. Best thing that ever happened to me, didn't feel that way at the time though.
I have been married to my wife for 23 years, dated for 5+ before that, I can tell you that when you find THE one you won't ever doubt it. I all these years I can count on one hand the number of times either of us spoke in a raised voice.
You just have to let it go.

Sorry to say but,She may already have another boyfriend.they usually do you know...Get busy and find you another girlfriend that will make her wish she didn't "break it off".You will be better off IMHO.:yes:

Things like this happen unfortunately. Maybe someday she'll change her mind, maybe she won't. Whatever happens will be for the best for both of you. I'm about 29 now and had my share of women, and one thing I can say without a doubt is that just when you think all is hopeless, someone new will come along and you'll be happier then ever. Don't wish she had given you a reason to hate her, just remember the good times and enjoy life. Don't live in the past or think about what you could have done better.

Not manly ! Are you kidding me? Dude, that is what makes you a man ! The pain of loosing a woman, wether it was her fault or yours. We all have experienced a broken heart. Bottom line, get with close friends and carry on with your life. I know it's hard, very hard. Time alone will help you time to figure things out. Believe me, I went through 2 very serious relationships, 6 years and 11 years. It's never easy. The great thing is your young, and you have alot of good times ahead of you ! :thumbsup: :beers:

sounds like someone already got her...

An old deceased friend of mine told me all the time...

No matter if you cant stand the romance you have to keep it alive. Put on the game face. Stop and buy flowers, go to a movie, cook her something...

I believe females need excitement. They need some sort of fascination. Every g/f I had, if I didnt have plans thye would always seem to find something to do with somebody...and you dont have to spend money, you could goto a park, go on a hike, go bike riding, take her out on a boat, etc...

As others here have said, while it may not feel like it now, it will pass. I wouldn't rush into finding someone new immediately, as hard as it is I think you need to let yourself experience this. But each of us has to deal with this in our own way (and virtually none of us avoids this either!).

But before too long someone else will turn your head.

You may never love anyone else quite the same, but different can be better too.

Pray to the Lord Jesus and ask him for his will in the matter and if its his will you will get her back. I prayed when my wife and I separated. Jesus brought her back to me and changed me as well. Its now 18 years. praise GOD, Give it a try. What do you have to loose.

At age 23 take the time to enjoy the new found freedom, hang out with your friends work on your cars, and try not to worry about her. Just let things happen and life will get easier every day. Just picture you and your finished Chevelle and all the hot girls wanting a ride in your car....

As others here have said, while it may not feel like it now, it will pass. I wouldn't rush into finding someone new immediately, as hard as it is I think you need to let yourself experience this. But each of us has to deal with this in our own way (and virtually none of us avoids this either!).

But before too long someone else will turn your head.

You may never love anyone else quite the same, but different can be better too.

I agree...

If you dont feel like making a commitment to anyone DONT...Have fun...Have MUCH FUN...

Dont feel quite so bad about making a thread like this. Your not the first one, I remember a guy around your age about a year ago that made a very similiar post and got some very good advice. Something like 5 pages worth.

Like whats already been said. You are young, sure it sucks to go through this, most, if not all of us have been there. I recommend doing something that makes you happy and spending time with friends. Try doing things to keep your mind off of her as much as you can, even though it wont be easy anyways.

If it does not work out then it was not meant to be. God has other plans for your life and they include the woman of your dreams!

If it does not work out then it was not meant to be. God has other plans for your life and they include the woman of your dreams!

Terry posted the most correct statement of all. If you have God in your life then this whole ordeal will be much easier to deal with. I've been happily married now for 16 years and still remember the day "the first girl I loved" going a different direction. This was the longest day of my life. It seemed that time had stopped. I was depressed and didn't know what I was going to do without her.....several girls later I met my wife, and to this day I'm so glad that the whole thing didn't end up at the church with the one that left. I know exactly where you're. Move on man.

Billions of fish in the see. Don't give her a second thought and leave skid marks getting away from her.

Go hang out with all the buddies you have ignored since getting together with your ex. Have fun and party like crazy. I would say 23 was a great time for me. I was clubbing every night, meeting new chicks every night.

Dont play a "white knight" to your ex. She is gone.

In about 5 months you will be over her, then be wondering why you wasted some good years on just one girl.:yes: I say 5 months, because it takes about 1 month for every year you have been together to get over her.

Sorry to say but,She may already have another boyfriend.they usually do you know...Get busy and find you another girlfriend that will make her wish she didn't "break it off".You will be better off IMHO.:yes:

As much as I know this comment is a kick in the balls to you, in my experience, it's probably true.

I was with the same girl through HS and college. All together 9 years with the last two engaged. She just out of the blue handed me her ring and said "I can't keep this" and left.

It sucked, it always sucks, and nothing me or anyone else here will make you feel better right now. Time is the only thing that will help.

Go out. Have fun with your friends. Things will turn around.

Today I have a wife and 3 kids so depending on your point of view, things are better...... or worse! :D

Keep your head up! :thumbsup:

There are plenty of fish in the sea. SOmeone better will come along. I didn't meet my better one until I was 33.

its over-dont chase after her, find something else to do-its hard, but hold your head up, go to the mall, or where ever young gals in short dresses hang out, and realize your now avail. for any one of them, lol-just be yourself, or change a little if need be

I have been married to the ONE for 33 years . It is my second. You will be receiving all kinds of advice but I want to ad this. As a couple matures and grows it is the little things that will mean the most. Most women leave not because of lack of sex but overall attention and being taken for granted. You have to do things so many have forgot how to. It is the things that they cannot wait to tell their friends/co-workers that you do for no apparent reason. When they ask why and the response is ...Because he loves me that much.....You know you are THERE.

Keep it simple as that what the good ones want. If it requires continual financial maintenance it will last only a little longer than the money.

Also the one thing I see missing in guys your age is absolute respect for a woman. So many stay because they have no other option but when they get an opportunity to break and run it is too late.

I would consider you lucky! I got married at 16 (I know....way too young) and it lasted almost 9 years. Then I found out what I had missed. I got married again for 8 years (great sex is NOT the reason to get married!).:noway: A couple of years later I found the one I was meant to be with and we've been together 16 years now and are still friends.

You're still young and now get out there and see what the world has to offer! :thumbsup:

Sorry to hear that dude, keep your chin up man, painful now but time is a great healer, one door closes and another one opens, thats true dude. i was with the same woman for 23 yrs , 16 of them married. things happen, i was in meltdown for a year but im in a much much happier place now. my partner liz is brilliant . you never know whats coming good for you and it will, dont do anything stupid, get out and enjoy life, it aint easy at times but it WILL get better for you. enjoy your chevelle, your friends and pals, better it happened now and not later when you were married. chin up dude.

She will be back,they always come back,but by then you probobly wont be interested.

Ask her if she would like to do something you both enjoyed and go as freinds. If she turns you down on doing something as friends - I'd say it's over. I did this with my wife 21 years - went dowtown Chicago as friends and the rest is history.

Not manly ! Are you kidding me? Dude, that is what makes you a man ! The pain of loosing a woman, wether it was her fault or yours. We all have experienced a broken heart. Bottom line, get with close friends and carry on with your life. I know it's hard, very hard. Time alone will help you time to figure things out. Believe me, I went through 2 very serious relationships, 6 years and 11 years. It's never easy. The great thing is your young, and you have alot of good times ahead of you ! :thumbsup: :beers:

Big x2 there.... Time heals, brother.... Hang in there, OK? Turn a wrench, go for a drive. Dump all your troubles on your TC pals, we can take it...:beers:

Dude, take a deep breath and relax. Breaking up sucks and will make you feel terrible when your on the receiving end. Do yourself a favor and don't call her, don't go out of your way to see her, don't call her friends trying to find out what she is doing. Nobody man or woman like desperation. The biggest don't of all is DON'T go out on a date to make her jealous. Do go out with true friends, do get a hobby, do things you've been wanting to do for awhile. For every bad thing that has or will happen to you, something better will happen as a result....guaranteed.

I will say she was probably your "first love"... yes we never forget :rolleyes:
Let her go... your soul mate is out there and it may take a while to find her.. but OH what fun "looking". :yes:
Enjoy life (just don't go to the extream...drugs and alcohol are NOT the answer) you will find "the one" and when/where you least expect her.
I found mine at a bar with friends... she was set-up with another friend of mine,there wasn't a hint of a spark,I never met her before,there was chemistry,and then 21 years later it's history. (dated 5 years/married 16)

I'll help. Tell us more about this:

UNDER CONSTRUCTION
1970 Malibu Hardtop with Fiber optics and electrotip wipers.

She's gone. It hurts for a while then it gets better. No amount of begging/being nice/sending flowers/etc is going to change that. She probably wants a boyfriend, just not you. After you get over the shock of breaking up go out and date as many different girls as you can. You will find your soulmate but you can't rush it. It will happen when it happens.

To borrow a line from Garth Brooks, sometimes you have to thank God for unanswered prayers. I remember wanting a girlfriend back so much after she cheated on me and when she did it was the worst thing ever. Everytime she went out I never knew where she was going or what she was doing. Neither of us were happy and it broke us up anyway. Unfortunately it left worse feelings than if she would of stayed gone in the first place. Remember, you can't miss her if she doesn't leave, but I'd rather miss her than having her stay and not be happy.

Maybe you have just graduated school and now you've learned what you need to know about how to treat the person you're mean't to be with!

Reading thru all these post's I can't help but think there is a country western song in there somewhere.

This should help to get yer mind going foward ! :thumbsup: :D

http://i661.photobucket.com/albums/uu338/JONGAGE/hot_beer_girls.jpg

By the way the blonde is mine ! :yes:

Here's my opinion, remember it's worth what you paid for it, NOTHING.

I think she found someone else and just didn't have the guts to tell you. That bull crap of needing time apart is just that, bull crap. You are LUCKY that you are not married and even luckier that you don't have kids with her. All I can tell you is that when the time is right someone better will come along. Just don't look for her because when you least expect it, there she will be.

:beers:

Thanks for all the tips and suggestions. It really does help. I am still not sure if I should try to be friendsw with her or if I should stay away.



As much as I know this comment is a kick in the balls to you, in my experience, it's probably true.

I was with the same girl through HS and college. All together 9 years with the last two engaged. She just out of the blue handed me her ring and said "I can't keep this" and left.

It sucked, it always sucks, and nothing me or anyone else here will make you feel better right now. Time is the only thing that will help.

Go out. Have fun with your friends. Things will turn around.

Today I have a wife and 3 kids so depending on your point of view, things are better...... or worse! :D

Keep your head up! :thumbsup:

I really don't think she is with a new guy yet. I talked to her last night and she is very sorry it had to happen and she said it hurts her alot to see me so upset.






I'll help. Tell us more about this:

UNDER CONSTRUCTION
1970 Malibu Hardtop with Fiber optics and electrotip wipers.
Its finally starting to look like a car....
http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m316/bri2203/my%20chevelle/Picture029.jpg

Take it from a old guy life is to short you will get over it better things
are coming

Take it from a old guy; life is to short and you will get over it; better things are coming.



Precisely! :beers:

And if for some crazy reason you're unable to forget about her somewhere down the line, you can always join the French Foreign Legion. :D

Seriously, I suppose we've "all been there" at some point in out lives and it takes time, but get out, enjoy yourself, have fun and move on......just like many of the other guys here advised you to do.

Hell, after being told that "I'll wait for you" right to my face while looking into her beautiful brown eyes, approx. four months later while serving in VN, my alleged G/F wrote me a Dear John, John letter. Now, there I was, a nineteen-year old kid about 12,000 miles away from home, and I was completely helpless to do anything about it. Sure, it sucked and I was devastated, but now, she's nothing but an "event" that took place in my life 40 years ago. Did I forget? No. Am I still devastated? Absolutely not.

Oh, and I would highly suggest/recommend that you break any and all contact with her. After a breakup, most times there is no such things as "being just friends." As far as her "feeling bad for you," she should have thought about that before she gave you the 'Deep Six' to begin with. Tell her to go "Pound Salt," and destroy any memories, gifts or momentos of her. She suffered the loss here, not you.

You're 23 years old with a lot of life ahead, you haven't lived at all. Move on and live the future that comes to you. You can waste time thinking about this girl when you are 65, retired and married to someone else!

At 23, your best years lie ahead, hit the ground running and don't look back. There are a lot of good times ahead, don't dwell on the past!!!:thumbsup:PS forget the friendship BS, that's just more misery!!! BTW, nice car, what color is it?

I remember when my squeeze dumped me in 72. (yeah I'm old), I was 22 running a 72 nova SS. I worked AS A parts man for chevrolet 8-5pm, and 6-10 pumped gas mon-fri off on sat. and worked 8-8 on sunday pumping gas with mybest friend..hey I was making $2.00 an hour off the books at the gas station, and $3.25 at the dealer...I hardly had time to think of my ex who broke my heart, she was starting to date her boss at the store they both worked at and he was 25 and wanted to get married..bingo..I wasnt ready...saved alot of money, bought a 57 vette, a used motorcycle and the summer of 73 was the best ever, it will take a year to get over the hurt,,,,,If your a decent guy the girls will flock to you..trust me just ask the older members here

im 45 and heres what i know for sure. the more you call her and pine over her the less likely it is she will ever want you back. also the longer you do this the longer it takes to get over it.the best course of action is to completely ignore her no matter how much you want to talk to her. go find other women, talk to your friends, work on something or whatever just dont contact her. it also helps to do something to improve your self esteem like working out. i know you think no one is better than this girl and you dont know how your going to exist without her but if you stick to these suggestions you will be over it in a few months and once you dont care as much you will find another girl and wonder how you could have been so nuts over this one

I will say she was probably your "first love"... yes we never forget :rolleyes:
Let her go... your soul mate is out there and it may take a while to find her.. but OH what fun "looking". :yes:
Enjoy life (just don't go to the extream...drugs and alcohol are NOT the answer) you will find "the one" and when/where you least expect her.
I found mine at a bar with friends... she was set-up with another friend of mine,there wasn't a hint of a spark,I never met her before,there was chemistry,and then 21 years later it's history. (dated 5 years/married 16)

I have to agree on all of Dougs' points here.


I was 21 when my first love broke up with me over the phone some years ago. I still remember the day. May 12th. 1990. I thought I was gonna die for a while and cried alot for about three months. Stayed home for a 6 months and finally after mom and dad threatened to send me to counceling, decided one day that she was out having fun and I'd be D@!!! if I morn for another day.
It took 2 years before I trusted another girl, but, boy did I have fun. Nothing like going camping with a truck full of girls; :noway: Often, very often.

MY first wife, cheated on me several times and ran off with another man, which is just fine. She left the twins behind, which I have, all the time.;)


My wife, now, came into my life about a year and a half after I devorced the first one. And, I wasn't looking for her, either. She was just there one day.
We hit it off like two peas in a pod. We've been maried for 7 years now and we love eachother like we did, when we first started dating. I'll never forget the first NHRA race, I took her to, or our honeymoon cruise. And, the way she does certain things when she's aggrevated at me, just makes me laugh.
Now, the house is full of kids; three of hers and two of mine. Peace and quiet is in the garage at 10PM.

You'll learn as you get older, that there is a reason for everything. Don't let this drag you down. I guarentee, if she is meant to be with you and you with her, it will happen when you least expect it.:thumbsup:

I can relate to what you are going through, and I will tell you some good advice I was with my wife for 25 years and I am 47. When I moved out I almost thought the world came to an end, until I tried something that was the best thing that happened and boy oh boy get ready for the ride of your life. My world has changed like no other and the amount of girls will flock to you. I will send you a PM what to do and will change your life.
Hopefully some of your older wiser individuals can point me in an accurate direction.

I just turned 23 and we started dating when we were 18. Over the past few months we chose to make stupid things into arguments. About a month ago we decided to take a break to clear our heads. After two weeks I agree to change some things and I attend her sister wedding and I think everything is going well. A whole four days later we are together and she wasn't herself nor did she want to talk on the phone like she usually does. So I ask her whats going on? She says I did my part to be a better boyfriend but she wasn't sure about us still. So in the end I told her I would give her some space.

I admit it, during the 4.5 years I may not have been the most romantic boyfriend.
Its been a couple weeks and I haven't talked to her. It hurt so much because I see her smile, hear her laugh and voice multiples time every day. I wish she would have cheated on me at least then I would have a reason I would want to hate her. Its weird being home alone on a friday night. She knows I still love her and miss her everyday. It makes me sick to think of her dating another dude. I really want her back in my life but it sad she doesn't feel the same way. I want to keep telling her she is wrong and we need each other. However I would still want her in my life a friend.

I feel like a douche to make a thread like this, its not very manly. Whats sad I have more time to work on chevelle but it hasn't been touched since we split up.

I will send you a PM what to do and will change your life.

Uh Oh, Brad's selling life insurance again.:yes:

Thanks for all the tips and suggestions. It really does help. I am still not sure if I should try to be friendsw with her or if I should stay away.[quote]


Stay away.Its only going to make the pain your feeling last longer.Everything happens for a reason.You don't always find out what the reason is, but it happened just the same.If its meant to be it will.


[quote] I really don't think she is with a new guy yet. I talked to her last night and she is very sorry it had to happen and she said it hurts her alot to see me so upset.[quote]



What do you think she told you this for.She really didn't want to hurt your feelings, but Oh Well its done now.Believe me,if it bothered her even the slightest bit she would have talked to you about it all long before she left.And she may have in which case you may not have heard it.In either case as everybody above has already said in as many ways as I think it could be said,time for you to move on.Work on that Chevelle,go to the Video Store,Got to the Market, Anyplace women go "You" need to be there on the hunt.Join a Gym.Women in next to nothing exercising.Think about it.Do you really want to be tied down at 23.Way to many women out there.


[quote] Its finally starting to look like a car....
http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m316/bri2203/my%20chevelle/Picture029.jpgLooks good to

The "being friends" thing - it most often ends up being one-way. Not every time, but often. Then it sux when she introduces you as a friend to her new boyfriend...

While I agree with the all the advice above, I can tell right now you're still feeling commited and attached - not ready to let go. This is normal. If you think she may still reconsider, give her a little time and then put it out there that you do not want to move on, that you still care for her, but that you WILL move on. Try not say it in a way that sound's like an ultimatum, but more of a 'I need to live my life not in limbo'. If you think that there is virtually no chance of a reconcile, refer to my first point about one-way friendship - often a tenuous grip on what you cannot have that will lead to disappointment.

In the end do what you can in a reasonable amount of time from now, if it doesn't work out - you tried. Don't beat yourself up. Have a few beers with some pals. Then put some energy into the car. Then join a co-ed volleyball league ;)

I'm 56 years old, and most major events in my life came as a complete surprise. My wife of 33 years just appeared in my den one night while visiting my sister. She wasn't my first love, and at the time I was still hurting over a previous GF. The point I'm making here is you're 23 years old, and life holds all sorts of surprises for you. This girl may still be in your future, but probably not. Leave her alone, if she made a mistake in leaving you, she'll come back and you can decide whether to pick it back up. In the meantime, get on with it, do what you like to do, but stay busy and don't mope. When you get interested in dating again, someone will appear out of the blue, and it'll click. I'm a firm believer that God leads us in the right path if we let Him. Keep your chin up and wait for your next surprise.

move on,find another girl-your better off...
rth

As a Christian, I concur on putting this matter before God. Simply pray for and then ACCEPT His will, whatever it happens to be.

This separation may be a test of character for the both of you and may only be temporary, or it could be permanent because God has plans for both of you and is steering you down separate paths.

We live in a fallen world my friend, These things will happen. Girlfriends leave even when we've been the good guys, we get passed over for promotions even though we're more qualified, the coach's kid starts even when you're the better player.

For now, stay away from her. Give her time to see if she misses having you in her life. Seek God's will. Then accept it and keep living life.

women are like buses...if you miss one,another will be along in 15 minutes!! women come & women go but i still have my chevelle !!(and elcamino`s):thumbsup::D:yes::hurray:

I'll bet 85-plus % of this really came to a head after attending her sister's wedding....

All of a sudden YOU are in full comparision mode to her new BIL.... in her head is "He is so ____, He's got ____, Great, now my sister is married, got this great guy, ______"

just fill in the blanks. She's probably evaluating herself pretty harshly too. Give it some time and see if things turn around. Don't burn any bridges, but don't be afraid to take a different road!

women are like buses...if you miss one,another will be along in 15 minutes!! women come & women go but i still have my chevelle !!(and elcamino`s):thumbsup::D:yes::hurray:
Just make sure you get on the right one. You can usually tell early on if not. If they have baggage, mood swings, bitchy, crazy, messy, overspender, druggie, nutty family (don't forget they come with the package), etc., get out quick before you're in deep. Have patience. If the one you lost is the right one for you she'll realize it after "sampling the field" and want to come back. If not, you weren't meant for each other anyway. Even though you might think so, it takes two to think so for it to work.

Well there's no doubt that it hurts like hell, I think we've all been there and do feel your pain. I was in a few long relationships that ended similar to yours.(they were cheating by the way) It seems that younger women now a days seem to think that there is something else better out there when their younger. As they get older they grow out of it. I didn't get married until I was 34. That's how the 8 year resto got completed, just playing and nothing serious, my wife jokes about all the money and g/f's it took to restore the car! I had given up and was getting ready to go over the road trucking. Then I met my wife at a car show, the best woman I have ever met for me. When you least expect it! And a foot note all the ex's, we are still friends and they realize their loss. Like I always said gowing up "next!"
If you go back it won't be the same. :yes: Get busy with something to pass time, Just my experience. Jody

I had a girlfriend of two years at your age (38 now) that told me the same thing. Then after we break up I found out from everybody and thier brother that she had screwed around on me every time we weren't together for the whole two years. I couldn't believe the people that knew. I was in total shock! I still think about that girl from time to time. I've been married for eight years and had several girlfriend prior to that. You may never forget her, but move on someone better will come along.

You seem to have gotten a lot of good advice. You have to choose the right one and be able to see yourself with them for 50 or more years. You must be a sensible young man you were smart enough not to bring a baby into this. I mean it as a compliment.

I didnt read all the replys and skimmed over your message, because i posted once too that my gf of 6 years (friends over 8) left me too. She at least cheated on me. I have to say i havent talked to her in 3 months, and man i feel so great right now. It took me awhile, and lost of time on the phone with my parents, but right now I'm not looking back. I promise things will get easier, and better, but you have to put forth the effort to put yourself back out there, instead of sitting in your room watching TV or fb/myspace stalking. That **** messed me up.

It gets easier, im 22, went through the same thing, but ive been talking to this new girl who has really opened my eyes up. Man have i been missing out!

If they have baggage, mood swings, bitchy, crazy, messy, overspender, druggie, nutty family (don't forget they come with the package), etc., .

Uhhh, I think you just described ALL women. :)

Uhhh, I think you just described ALL women. :)


oh so hot and oooohhhh so Cold!!

I had the same type of thing happen to me over my 30 years and I can tell you that one important thing I learned was, dont give up your friends when you are dating. Start doing some things to get your mind off of her, we all go through those moments even when you are married life will throw some issues your way. Sometimes, you need to thank god for unanswered prayers (Garth Brooks song, I cant take credit for it). It will all make sense down the road, when you scored an awsome girl! Go out and live it up, I am sure most of us wished we were in our early twenties and single. MAN WHORE!!!!!!! gOOD LUCK

Four things will make you feel better.
1. friends
2. booze
3. garage time
4. family

If you intend to combine any of these i suggest 1&2, and 3&4.
Friends in the garage was never good in my experience, and family and booze just made them think I was an alcoholic.

I was in a similar situation. I went to the movies with my folks. watched tv with my folks. I would hang out at my sister's house. And when your best buddy tells you it's okay to cry about it, he's lying and he'll bust your balls for it for years to come. And when you're out with the boys, don't get too drunk and wander behind the scenes at the bar/restaurant and try to pick up hostesses and waitresses.

That's about all I got for ya.

YouTube - The Eagles-Already gone I don't know if I did this correctly, but if it works Great, if not follow the link.

I will admit that I have not read every post, so if this is a redundant opinion, I do apologize.

The reason why this hurts is because its perfectly normal to feel hurt after a relationship ends. Even more so, because this is probably the longest, and assumably only relationship you have ever known, and has been apart of basically 1/4 of your life.

A few things to remember when youre feeling down
...you're not the first guy that this has happened to
...it doesnt make you "unmanly" to be upset and seek others advise
...and according to an old Simpsons episode, the Chinese use the same word for "crisis" as they do for "opportunity" "Crisitunity!"

Is there anything that you always wanted to do but couldnt while you were in this relationship? Well go out and do it. Spend a couple of bucks on yourself!

And to be like other folks here, I'll share a little too. I'm 34 and went through quite a few women, always looking for "the one". Back in 2006, my then girlfriend of a year and change broke up with me. What was I to do? I was 31, figured I was heading toward marriage etc. Well, I went out and had a ton of fun. That fall I started dating a girl I had been friends with for sometime...we're getting married next year. I'm marrying my best friend.

Everyone will tell you that everything happens for a reason, and you'll find her when you least expect it. It sounds like crap when youre living through it everyday, and it may take you some time before you find the right one, but you will.

Go rent the first season of "How I Met Your Mother". Trust me.

lol Thanks for the tips guys and Brad!

Things are starting to make a little more sense also. The past two days I been talking to this girl in PA and it has lifted my spirits because we are very similar. If we lived in te same state we would be very good friends. I think god had something to do with this one.

Brian

Right now your lonely, The only thing you can remember is time with her. In a few short days youll start to remember the things you did before her that you stopped doing because "she didn't like them", or the friends you dont see any more because " they bother her". Trust me, life is not over. A word of advice that my father passed on to me--- The right thing to do is ALWAYS the hardest path to take. It would be easy to sit and fell sorry for yourself, chase her forever. It will be incredibly hard to walk away, Put a big check mark next to expierence on your life board and move on.. Best thing I ever did was divorce the ex, Also the hardest. Take a short road trip, Grab a tent, sleeping bag, fishing pole and take off- get away from your normal routine. It will be easier to come back and start over fresh with a clear mind and all the time in the world

Now you know why the blues never go out of style. You are now starting a new phase of your life. Forget her. Better things will come in the future.
If you can't forget her drink lots of booze and call her at 2:00 AM crying and begging her back. Study the lyrics to "Every Breath You Take" by the Police and do as they say. After spending a couple of nights in jail for stalking you will REALLY want to forget her and move on :)

Step 1
[insert Enzyte commercial here]

Step2
[insert eHarmony commercial here]

Step3

Enjoy the gift that keeps on giving.

I went through the exact same thing with my ex-wife. I was crushed and it was a total shock to me. We tried counseling, but she quit. She moved out and I was alone. She wouldn't tell me where she went either. I moved on although it was extremely difficult. I was a wreck. My boss told me someday you'll look back on this and laugh and you'll have someone that you should be with and you'll know it. "Bull*****" I said! But it's so true. In the end, it was the best GIFT she ever gave me.

Now I am remarried to a wonderful woman, have an awesome 10 month old son, play in a successful band again, own a business, and have 5 more cars than when I was married the first time. I wish I could run into my ex-wife and tell her how much she changed my life for the better when she left!!

Youth is truly wasted on the young. It is often impossible to convince someone that things will get better and probably happened for the better in situations like this because they just want the pain over by getting back together. Only people that go through it can understand. I remember at 22 my girl and I broke up in college. We went to the same school. Our relationship wasn't great but for some reason I was crushed. What is worse is that I hear people around school talking about how many guys she is banging at parties etc. After about 3-4 months I started working out and got in shape. All of the sudden I was a big fan of the ladies and she wanted me back. I was over her and told her I didn't want sloppy 32nds. I am 34 now. When I talk to my best friend we joke about how if we could do it all over again we would have dumped out girlfriends immediately in college and just had fun. Fortunately I was able to have a ton of fun after the girl and I above broke up. If I stayed with her I would probably still be living in Po-Dunk unhappily married. Instead I partied through school, got good grades, moved to San Diego and partied a ton more. Met a ton of women and about a year ago decided I wanted to settle down and found an awesome girl on eHarmony. I just bought a ring two weeks ago.

Bottom line....people get married too young (especially in the midwest where I am from). They don't give themselves time to grow and live it up. So they end up divorced in their early thirties wishing they lived it up and try to recapture their youth which never works. If I could be 23 all over again I would probably do it even though I am 100% happy and living it up. So trust me, get out of Farmington, explore the world and have some fun. Leave that town. Be the envy of everyone there then thank her for your success and be the one that got away.

My daughter just broke her engagement tonight with her fiancee. And honestly Brian ,I really and truely feel bad for him. I really like him and we got along great. My daughter is 23 and I don't know what is going on with her as we have always been close. Within 2 weeks time she did this,quit her job and cancelled her grad school invitation. She told me she is just to young to be tied down . He treated her like a princess,and I always joked how I was ready to pass the torch. Hang in there ,things always work out for the best. Btw,all women are a little wacked no matter what age.:yes:

Go down to Woodward this week and weekend.... that oughta take your mind off things for a while! :thumbsup:

I agree with most of the above advice.... I've been in your shoes, and it sucked. But, after I got out of my funk and quit worrying about it, things turned right around! It may be tough to see from your point of view at the moment, but you'll move on, work on the car a little more, and when you aren't really paying attention, you'll have a new girlfriend, and she'll be even better than the last one. In the meantime, live a little, enjoy your freedom and have some fun!

So How has this turned out??????????????????????????

Frankly I don't care for women anymore...its their way or the highway, it's all about them, what THEY want. yada yada. I've been in a few relationships, and they're ALL ended TERRIBLY!!:eek:

I pretty much given up in looking/trying/getting over women. I do what I love now! and I'm happy!

IMO you will be fine after sometime...try to meet new people...and try NOT to think about her or think about what coulda/woulda/shoulda happened you will NEVER get over it if you pick scabs so let them heal by doing you best to be positive and move ON...it's best that way. You'll meet new people you're onlly 23, and so am I-or close enough.

But I've never had real serious relationships...But then again, Im not looking to marry--ever.

Good like Bri2203 You'll be fine..just give it some time and a new hobby! :beers::beers:

Step 1
[

Enjoy the gift that keeps on giving.

Which one, Freedom or Herpes ? :p

So How has this turned out??????????????????????????

Haven't read the whole thread, but I hope he's been keeping his mind busy and dated at least a couple of times since then.

After being totally devastated a few too many times in my life due to my relationships with ladies I now wish I could get in a time machine and go back to those times and punch myself in the face.

No person, I don't care who it is, is going to leave me feeling like crap becasue they no long want to be with me. I can't believe I let people I love who didnt love me back enough actually make me feel bad about myself. Sometimes, it's not that you did something wrong, but it's just the other partner is an idiot. :sad:

ME and LOVE, never again. :noway:

After being totally devastated a few too many times in my life due to my relationships with ladies I now wish I could get in a time machine and go back to those times and punch myself in the face.

No person, I don't care who it is, is going to leave me feeling like crap becasue they no long want to be with me. I can't believe I let people I love who didnt love me back enough actually make me feel bad about myself. Sometimes, it's not that you did something wrong, but it's just the other partner is an idiot. :sad:

ME and LOVE, never again. :noway:

Alek, i'm not trying to insult you, but you could use some counseling. a sense of loss is always worth a good mourn, and as young as you are, you made the mistakes we all make at a younger age. some of it was your selfesteem, some of it might have been your choice in women, and i gaurantee, it wasn't always 100% thier fault.

yes sometimes the partner is an idiot, but you chose her, and that means you had a part in it. sometimes somebody not wanting you any more isn't personel, even if it feels like it, in that case it's better to go than stay and make you even more misreable.

you find the core problem in most relationships is lack of communication. you are misreable, and instead of going, you stay with what is familiar.

those girls did you a favor Alek, they moved on so you could find a better match, and when she shows up, don't let the bro's before hoes attitude ruin it for you.

your young, and you'll be in a happy relationship someday, and like most of us old farts, you may have to eat a few past statements.

theres a statement in this thread, that women are like buses...

well, there were these two little kids, and they decided to show each other thier equiptment. the little boy laughs at the little girl, "i've got one of these, and you don't"! the little girl looks him in the eye. i may not have what you have,but with this i can get as many of those as i want....

we all remember the the nuts, but most of us have had a good woman, and know it's well worth getting threw the nuts to get to a good one..

Haven't read the whole thread, but I hope he's been keeping his mind busy and dated at least a couple of times since then.

-=----

INdeed!!! He better have.
Everyone that hurt me... came back at some point.
I was in a better place when they did.
Just like my Mom always said..." you will look back and laugh and see this was just a drop in the bucket".

Alek, i'm not trying to insult you, but you could use some counseling. a sense of loss is always worth a good mourn, and as young as you are, you made the mistakes we all make at a younger age. some of it was your selfesteem, some of it might have been your choice in women, and i gaurantee, it wasn't always 100% thier fault.

yes sometimes the partner is an idiot, but you chose her, and that means you had a part in it. sometimes somebody not wanting you any more isn't personel, even if it feels like it, in that case it's better to go than stay and make you even more misreable.

you find the core problem in most relationships is lack of communication. you are misreable, and instead of going, you stay with what is familiar.

those girls did you a favor Alek, they moved on so you could find a better match, and when she shows up, don't let the bro's before hoes attitude ruin it for you.

your young, and you'll be in a happy relationship someday, and like most of us old farts, you may have to eat a few past statements.

theres a statement in this thread, that women are like buses...

well, there were these two little kids, and they decided to show each other thier equiptment. the little boy laughs at the little girl, "i've got one of these, and you don't"! the little girl looks him in the eye. i may not have what you have,but with this i can get as many of those as i want....

we all remember the the nuts, but most of us have had a good woman, and know it's well worth getting threw the nuts to get to a good one..

I know Bill, my take on them is NOT normal...I DO need couseling for the way I feel about them. It's not that I HATE ALL WOMEN, It's just I don't see myself in relationships anymore, and I've gotten USED to it...that's all. I have some very close girls who are friends...but relationships...I'll pass.

I think I DO need couseling for this though... but thats only after I get some more parts for the chevelle first! ;):D:noway:

But Also Bill, All of us have defense mechanisms. Mine is to avoid what had on numerous occasions has led me on a downhill...doing things I wish I've never done...I mean you don't know what I've been through...so..I mean I'm just tryin to defend myself and who I am..self preservation. As for them not being 100% wrong, of course not, but the ones i'm referring to are MORE than half after the stunts they've pulled.

Maybe I'll find a right one one day, I'm not worried about it, frankly I don't even care about them at all.

Hey..... I respect a man that knows himself.

====

Still wanna here how this soap opera ended with how the thread started........

I know Bill, my take on them is NOT normal...I DO need couseling for the way I feel about them. It's not that I HATE ALL WOMEN, It's just I don't see myself in relationships anymore, and I've gotten USED to it...that's all. I have some very close girls who are friends...but relationships...I'll pass.

I think I DO need couseling for this though... but thats only after I get some more parts for the chevelle first! ;):D:noway:

But Also Bill, All of us have defense mechanisms. Mine is to avoid what had on numerous occasions has led me on a downhill...doing things I wish I've never done...I mean you don't know what I've been through...so..I mean I'm just tryin to defend myself and who I am..self preservation. As for them not being 100% wrong, of course not, but the ones i'm referring to are MORE than half after the stunts they've pulled.

Maybe I'll find a right one one day, I'm not worried about it, frankly I don't even care about them at all.

Alek, that is a pretty good attitude, and probably the right path. as they say, the right one comes along when you stop looking. you do seem to know yourself, and that's 90% past most of us. hang in there bud...

To the OP, I feel where your coming from man. I'm just 24 and I just ending a relationship with my EX after 5 years about a month ago. Man did it hurt the first 1-2 days after the breakup. But like some say, the perfect one always come when you're not looking for them. We broke up on a Friday night, came Monday afternoon while at work there is the girl that I worked with for about 5 months now and I've been checking her out trying to see how she is BUT I NEVER said anything to her at all until that Monday. So after that we hit it off extremely good and now were dating. Man its like her and I are so meant for each other. But dont let that break up get you down man, PLEASE DONT. This is what I did right after my breakup and the best thing you can do. DO NOT, call her or text her PERIOD. Go and work on your car. Thats what I did all day Saturday and Sunday after the Friday breakup. I played with my car both of those days with my phone at home. On Saturday I had 23 missed calls from her and on Sunday I had only 16 with a ton of text messages. I didnt respond to either until like Monday night. You have to let her see that its not hurting you that you two are not together and I guarantee that she will be wanting to come back. To this day, she has been calling me and telling me how sorry she is and wants to come back but I said NO, HELL NO. Reason is because if she did it once, she WILL do it again. I'm just waiting on her to come get her things from out my apt so I wont have anything else to say to her. And by the way, we were engaged too.

"There are no successful romantic relationships. There is only a history of failures and a current relationship that has yet to fail.

Death is the only exception to the process."

Go to www.laddertheory.com it is a must read for all young men.

To the OP, I feel where your coming from man. I'm just 24 and I just ending a relationship with my EX after 5 years about a month ago. Man did it hurt the first 1-2 days after the breakup. But like some say, the perfect one always come when you're not looking for them. We broke up on a Friday night, came Monday afternoon while at work there is the girl that I worked with for about 5 months now and I've been checking her out trying to see how she is BUT I NEVER said anything to her at all until that Monday. So after that we hit it off extremely good and now were dating. Man its like her and I are so meant for each other. But dont let that break up get you down man, PLEASE DONT. This is what I did right after my breakup and the best thing you can do. DO NOT, call her or text her PERIOD. Go and work on your car. Thats what I did all day Saturday and Sunday after the Friday breakup. I played with my car both of those days with my phone at home. On Saturday I had 23 missed calls from her and on Sunday I had only 16 with a ton of text messages. I didnt respond to either until like Monday night. You have to let her see that its not hurting you that you two are not together and I guarantee that she will be wanting to come back. To this day, she has been calling me and telling me how sorry she is and wants to come back but I said NO, HELL NO. Reason is because if she did it once, she WILL do it again. I'm just waiting on her to come get her things from out my apt so I wont have anything else to say to her. And by the way, we were engaged too.

GREAT ADVICE: Do NOT reach out to her. DO NOT. They come back.

"There are no successful romantic relationships. There is only a history of failures and a current relationship that has yet to fail.

Death is the only exception to the process."

Go to www.laddertheory.com (http://www.laddertheory.com) it is a must read for all young men.

lmao

some of that site I can agree with but some of the stuff is like wtf?

if your friends gf wants you to screw you, you should do it and tape it?:mad:
what happened to bros before hoes?

lmao

some of that site I can agree with but some of the stuff is like wtf?

if your friends gf wants you to screw you, you should do it and tape it?:mad:
what happened to bros before hoes?

ROTFLMAO,

It still is bros before hoes. When that situation happens that when you let you friend know that his girl is wanting you to screw then tell him not to say anything about it until you screw. Then she is going to be in for a suprise. Or maybe, I hear a threesome:D BROS BEFORE HOES:thumbsup:

ROTFLMAO,

It still is bros before hoes. When that situation happens that when you let you friend know that his girl is wanting you to screw then tell him not to say anything about it until you screw. Then she is going to be in for a suprise. Or maybe, I hear a threesome:D BROS BEFORE HOES:thumbsup:

lol whatever:rolleyes:

gotta love "bros before hoes", guys. it makes you ownder if they have any females in thier family, you know, sisters, mothers etc. and how they feel when turds treat these women in that manner.

someday, you all might have daughters, and some little" bros before hoes" dude will be at your door, then we'll see how you feel about it... then all of a sudden the ass beatings commence or somebody has a shotgun in some kids face.

i wish, i and every kid under 20, hell! under 30 was forced to keep a daily journel, then made to go back and look at all the stupid crap we talked when young... really, it's quite entertaining...

gotta love "bros before hoes", guys. it makes you ownder if they have any females in thier family, you know, sisters, mothers etc. and how they feel when turds treat these women in that manner.

someday, you all might have daughters, and some little" bros before hoes" dude will be at your door, then we'll see how you feel about it... then all of a sudden the ass beatings commence or somebody has a shotgun in some kids face.

i wish, i and every kid under 20, hell! under 30 was forced to keep a daily journel, then made to go back and look at all the stupid crap we talked when young... really, it's quite entertaining...

agreed.

bros before hoes to me means: if a girl was with your friend or even worse IS with your friend, then she is OUT of the picture! not lets all use her as a peice of meat.

It seems the younger they are the more they want to see what else is out there.
I caught what I thought was my ex cheating, to this day it's debatable (she was),,,, anyways,
(couple years later, still not dating, not that they weren't around, I was done) I was at a car show one night and as her and her new boyfriend go by in her car that I did the motor in, I jokingly said "oh there goes the ex with my motor", I hear in the crowd,,, "you can do better than that!"
:thumbsup: Yup, been married for 8 years now!!!! A couple years older, no games,, just right!!!
Please don't let it get you down, I had my Chevelle through all of them, and it helped tremendously, and my wife laughs when we talk about the car " 8 years, 38k and 3 girlfriends and it's done"
And my favorite phrase at the time was " Next!":yes:
FWIW Jody

It seems the younger they are the more they want to see what else is out there.
I caught what I thought was my ex cheating, to this day it's debatable (she was),,,, anyways,
(couple years later, still not dating, not that they weren't around, I was done) I was at a car show one night and as her and her new boyfriend go by in her car that I did the motor in, I jokingly said "oh there goes the ex with my motor", I hear in the crowd,,, "you can do better than that!"
:thumbsup: Yup, been married for 8 years now!!!! A couple years older, no games,, just right!!!
Please don't let it get you down, I had my Chevelle through all of them, and it helped tremendously, and my wife laughs when we talk about the car " 8 years, 38k and 3 girlfriends and it's done"
And my favorite phrase at the time was " Next!":yes:
FWIW Jody
----
So there is life after the break up!! Hopefully the thread starter here is getting this!!

there is some good advice here...

All of us have been there... Just remember that it always feels like the end of the world... but it isnt, the pain dulls and eventually you get to a point where they rarely even cross your mind...

Dont try to be her friend, not now anyway...
Spend time with your friends, enjoy your car and let time do its thing!!!

What if your bro's are hoes?

Its quite a conundrum that can send your jib all cattywompous with shananagans and uncontrolable ballahooey.

Just buy a damn sex doll before you pecker floats to the top of the water next time you take a bath. They do well for carpooling also. Just rinse it off first....dont want to screw up your interior.

l:)What if your bro's are hoes?

Its quite a conundrum that can send your jib all cattywompous with shananagans and uncontrolable ballahooey.

Just buy a damn sex doll before you pecker floats to the top of the water next time you take a bath. They do well for carpooling also. Just rinse it off first....dont want to screw up your interior.

There's plenty of fish in the sea... Move on, you're too young to be worried about this!

This DVD series by Chip Ingram is one of the best I've ever listened to in regards to relationships and it focuses on doing relationships the way God intended, not the way Hollywood tries to portray them.

http://store.lote.org/store/product/146

I listened to this series when Chip presented it on his daily show, Living on the Edge. I highly recommend it to anyone who finds him or herself bouncing from one relationship to another, or in this case, who may suddenly find himself asking after a years long relationship, "What's wrong with me and why did it fail after all these years?"


Everyone wants to love and be loved. The pursuit of "true love" is everywhere you look! It's romanticized on TV and in the movies we watch. There are books about it, songs about it, internet dating, and even seminars on it... all of which are designed to "help" you find that special someone to love. So why is "true love" so elusive? Could it be that the picture of love we see in today's culture is nothing more than an illusion? If so, what does real love look like? In this series, you'll discover that there is a better way to find love, stay in love, and grow in intimacy for a lifetime. Chip Ingram delivers to us God's prescription for building relationships that last a lifetime.
This series includes the following messages:


Hollywood's Formula for Lasting, Loving Relationships
How to Know if You're in Love
Love & Sex: Knowing the Difference Makes All the Difference
Sexual Purity in a Sex-Saturated World
Wake Up World! There Is a Better Way to Do Relationships

At the heart of this series is the emphasis on becoming the right person as opposed to always trying to find the right person. When you become the right person, the right person will find you.

Guys- The original poster has not replied again... Not even sure why someone went digging to bring this back to the top after 3 months anyway.

leave it alone, leave the guy alone.

Guys- The original poster has not replied again... Not even sure why someone went digging to bring this back to the top after 3 months anyway.

leave it alone, leave the guy alone.

Whats wrong with bringing stuff back? isn't that what we're doing with our chevelles? :D

Guys- The original poster has not replied again... Not even sure why someone went digging to bring this back to the top after 3 months anyway.

leave it alone, leave the guy alone.

May as well,not much else going on. Maybe he ran off and got married to a girl that hates Chevelles. He could be on a Mustang forum.:)

May as well,not much else going on. Maybe he ran off and got married to a girl that hates Chevelles. He could be on a Mustang forum.:)

---
I'm the guilty party for resurecting the .....question for the guy.
Thought it may do the guy good to see how far he came when he was at such a low point in his mind....AND ya never know may help someone else along the way.

I know what your goin through man Im 21 and had the same experience at 19. I was dating a girl that was a model. I started dating her in high school i was 16 she was 20. We met over my 1971 Chevelle believe it or not. She broke up with me after all that time and it tore me apart completely. Now i have a little girl and am single. Because of that wreckless chic i am cold hearted now towards women and it sucks. I have had about 6 serious relationships since then and a bunch of one or two weekers. And I have broken up with everyone of them since then. I know it sounds screwed up and it is but I dont care the hurt these girls go through because if you let them walk all over you at our age they do whatever they want and hurt you and careless. girls our age are shocked when u open doors and things and small old fashion things like that is what get them. But b/c of that one girl i dont have heart anymore for any girl except the women in my family.

For some strange reason girls around our age like guys that are complete *******s to them and I feed off that. I break up with them whenever i'm bored and move on because of one reason... there are way way way to many girls out there to get tore up over one that didnt give a damn about you to give you the time of day. Call me Will Smith in Hitch but with a twist.

But im gona leave off with this. It does hurt man and i know exactly how u feel. BUT it doesnt get forgotten but it does go away man. Toooooo many girls out there to be miserable tryin to get back with one or be with one. Trust me I know man. I just hope my daughter doesnt meet some jackass like me one day. I hope she doesnt ever have to go through it but everyone should because it makes you stronger.

It gets worse as you/they get older, just not limited to young ones.

Women have discovered online dating and that makes it worse.
I know of dozens of women, even in their 50s who can run an ad and wake upto 50, 100 reponses of desperados offering money, allowances, etc etc.

Why should they put any effort into someone when they can get what they want endlessly with no effort, answer is they wont, they dont have to.

This isnt a knock on women its just the truth. Men have to work hard to get and keep one, women just pretty much have to be there, lol.

Gonna take more time to find a decent one thse days but Im with ya, pretty discouraged.

I have even had 2 (one I spoke with on the phone, 1 I met in person) and both told me after a few conversations they didnt really want to date they found it easier to charge for their time by the hours. 20 or 60 yrs old they are all doing it.
Disgusting.....but renting these days is easier, funner and cheaper in the long run. :D

Women and p@%#y are just like OPEC and oil. There is plenty to go around, but they create artificial shortages to inflate the value of the commodity.