Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush " a heavily accented voice said. "This is " Donnie boy " Lightfoot , up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove , Newfoundland , Canada , eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Donnie ," George replied, "This is indeed important news !
How big is your army ?"

"Right now," said Donnie , after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold , me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Donnie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Donnie . "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Donnie called again. " Mr. Bush , the war is still on!
We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Donnie ?" George asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Donnie , that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lard t'underin' b'y", said Donnie , "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Donnie rang again the next day.. "President Bush , the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four b'ys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Donnie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jumpins," said Donnie , "l'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Donnie called again the next day. " President Bush ! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we're callin' off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said George . "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Donnie , "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

You can escape a canadian prison just by asking the guards if you can leave. They'll even escort you out and help you escape if you have hockey tickets. Besides....you have too many Frenchies up there to win any kind of conflict other than a crepe cookoff challenge or a "who's wife smells the funkiest" contest. :p :D

I'll get two guys with a slingshot and a pick axe and take over Canada myself if your not careful here....

;)

Must be be that 1/2 hour timezone deal. They are again behind the times. Bush is not the President anymore. Did they call Texas? Dang Newfies. :D

:p :D

I'll get two guys with a slingshot and a pick axe and take over Canada myself if your not careful here....

;)

Carfull Beaux or we will sick 2 Alberta farm girls on ya. They will be armed with nothing but a bad case of PMS to send ya home licking your wounds. And by some slim chance you happen to beat them, you have to keep them.

I've heard that Canadians are afraid of the dark.

Careful guys. Remember Laura Secord.

That is hilarious Bill l:) l:) l:) l:)

Don't think I have seen that before, even though it is a couple of months late as mentioned earlier. For those of you who have never been to "The Rock" known as Newfoundland (not Alcatraz), the people there are the absolute best in the world in my opinion. Just ask the thousands and thousands of plane passengers who were forced to land there during 9/11.

We Canadians always seem to be good at laughing at ourselves :yes:

By the way Bill, whatever made you decide to use "Donnie Boy Lightfoot" as the Secretary of Defence for Newfoundland. Don't think I've ever done anything to you :confused: :D :D

Donnie Boy

I see you need to have a little "pool time" with Bill. He mellows out after a few cold ones.

You don't want to know how I came by that info. :noway:

I hear Bob and Tom talk about a little town in N'f'land called Dildo.

Click on the thumbnail for the current state of Canada's military. :)

l:)

That is hilarious Bill l:) l:) l:) l:)

Don't think I have seen that before, even though it is a couple of months late as mentioned earlier. For those of you who have never been to "The Rock" known as Newfoundland (not Alcatraz), the people there are the absolute best in the world in my opinion. Just ask the thousands and thousands of plane passengers who were forced to land there during 9/11.

We Canadians always seem to be good at laughing at ourselves :yes:

By the way Bill, whatever made you decide to use "Donnie Boy Lightfoot" as the Secretary of Defence for Newfoundland. Don't think I've ever done anything to you :confused: :D :D

Newfoundlanders are the hardest working people you ever came across as well. I have had up to 6 of them working for me at one time. There were a lot of them here in B.C. about 5 years ago and at that time they said NFLD meant, No "Fellers" Left Dere. Most used a much more colorful word for fellers.

Click on the thumbnail for the current state of Canada's military. :)

Almost as bad as the Italian Navy. It's called TMB, and stands for, Thasa My Boat

I have heard that the Newfies are going to support Quebec the next time they want to separate from Canada. Figure it'll cut 6 hours off the drive home from Alberta.

Donnie Boy

I see you need to have a little "pool time" with Bill. He mellows out after a few cold ones.

You don't want to know how I came by that info. :noway:

Well Mike, I have had some cold ones with Bill on a few occasions over the years :beers:

However, sharing pool time is unlikely, and warm showers together is definitely out of the mix :noway: :noway:

warm showers together is definitely out of the mix :noway: :noway:

Oh come on now Don!! You know you want to!!

Well Mike, I have had some cold ones with Bill on a few occasions over the years :beers:

However, sharing pool time is unlikely, and warm showers together is definitely out of the mix :noway: :noway:


Hey Don pool time .dont knock it til you try it :D right Mike


...I was trying to think of a famous Canadian that TCer's to the south would recognize and your name came to my mind right away :yes: