Chicken Coupe
Jan 20th, 09, 4:50 PM
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday. The priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat.
I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn came to church every Sunday.
I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church.
So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all"
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right ?"
Murphy slowly shook his head and said,
"No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery'.
That's when I remembered where I left me hat."
Guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.
You'll be expected to escort the daughter including her overseas holiday trips.
You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bull- me!"
The social worker said,
"Yeah, well . . . you started it."
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat.
I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn came to church every Sunday.
I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church.
So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all"
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right ?"
Murphy slowly shook his head and said,
"No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery'.
That's when I remembered where I left me hat."
Guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.
You'll be expected to escort the daughter including her overseas holiday trips.
You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bull- me!"
The social worker said,
"Yeah, well . . . you started it."