Hello,

I just got a 2nd job today. My interview went great last week and I got the offer today. I start 11/1. My regular job is about 40-45 hours a week and my 2nd job will be 20 hours a week on Saturday and Sunday's. For part time work the pay is really good and benefits after 12 months. During the week I work in management and on the weekends I'll be working in a distribution center unloading freight. At least I'll get exercise. I'm picturing doing this for at least the next couple years. I just hope I don't fall apart physically or mentally before I'm done. My family's bills have been buidling up over the last few years. We have some good sized medical bills that we just can't seem to get caught up on from when my middle son broke his elbow and then his finger a few months later and my oldest son needed stitches and we have just been on a slow backwards slide since then. I make too much at my regular job to get any assistance, but not enough to really sustain off of. I'm over the maximum for assistance by $5,000 a year so I'm stuck in the middle. I really like my regular job and it provides a good level of satisfaction. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to work extra, but I can't help a feeling of overall sadness that I will have to miss out on a lot of things when the weekends roll around. Its going to be really tough when I have to miss out on my oldest son's baseball games in the Spring time and I can't assitant coach either like I did last Spring. Right now my oldest 2 son's are in soccer and are doing great. I will have to miss the last 4 games of both their season. My youngest son is almost 2 years old and starting the talking phase which is really cool. I wish I could have the time at home to be around more. I know my wife is going to get really frazzled on the weekends with the 3 boys and I'm not sure how that's going to go. I'm afraid she will build resentment toward me and the kids. I have no choice, but its going to be tough. I know I'm not the only guy out there that has to do this. Its just really tough that my life came down to this. I thought it would turn be different. Thanks for providing the forum to let me vent.

Thanks,
Kevin C

Well let me just say this if I might Kevin;
Forget the second job and spend the time with the kids. :yes:

I sure wish I could have it to do over but when I was busy trying to get my business going, I was working late 7 days a week.
Well, what I wound up with was two of my youngest kids were drug addicts.
Lots of sleepless nights and much much worry and lots of praying. :(

Maybe things wouldn't have been any different, who knows BUT the thing is, I will always believe that it was my fault even though it may not have been.

I just thank the good Lord every day that they both finally got away from all that stuff and away from those type of people. :hurray:

Take it for what it's worth

Kevin don't be down buddy.....Instead of just folding and giving up you have grabbed the bull by the horns.....You are doing whats important for you to maintain a happy household and provide in tough times.....A tip of the hat to you my friend......You will be rewarded for your hard work in the end.

Kevin- I too have kids at home and do a little extra where I can to supplement the budget. I bought a buisness a few years ago that went into the toilet on me, and I am stuck with the bills until they're paid. I do 40 a week at my job, and where I can find it, I do some on the side on weekends. My wife is understanding, even encouraging, since this is making it so we can have some to pay off debt with.

Devin

Congrats on your 2nd job. Do what you need to do for your family and do whats best for you and your heart:thumbsup:
Just feel lucky you found a job from what I hear their is not much of jobs out their any more.

Kevin..family always come first..you are doing what you have to....sit down and explain to your family why and what you're doing, then ask for their support and understanding...will be tough on home life, but times like these bring out the best...hang tough...prayers for you my friend:)

just another thought, if the majority of your reason for getting a second job are these back medical bills, have you thought of negotiating with the hospitals on them?

Most are pretty willing to chop bills down after a while, if they get worried that you might not pay it at all. May be worth a try.

hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Kudos for taking responsibility for you and your family.

I work 40-50 a week and then have a side business doing design and Project Management in modular furniture. I end up working late nights so i can see more of my boy in the evenings. Its really hard when the weekends require I be somewhere else.:mad: I would try and negotiate down or even delay the bills if you can. There is a new world out there for creditors and they have grown ears. I wish you the best and I will pray that you find happiness in this troubled time.

I have two incomes, the second wife’s and mine. We both are paid well. But it still is not enough. The more you earn/have the more you find to spend it on.
I have two grown kids. I worked hard to provide for them but in doing so missed out on everything. 70 to 80 hours a week, work two shifts sleep 8 hours then back to work 6 to 7 days a week. Looking back I may have done it differently but I was providing for my family, I was the only income while they where going up.
They will never be this young again. Like others have said family first then…….. Hospitals for the most part will work with you just make an effort to send money to them. No court in the land is going to take your home or things if you are trying to pay your bills. Keep records of all payments etc.
Yes I have two jobs. One job that pays a salary and one that does not pay monetarily direct to the bank. The second is the stuff at home. Repair on the house, the 5 cars and trucks I use, etc, etc, it goes on and on.
Be with the little ones for soon they will be grown and gone.

I'm with Dean on this one.
I've been there before and it is rough on the family life. I went from local haul back to OTR and missed out on a lot of things with my oldest two kids that can never be again and I wish I had those days back.

One thing, if you are going to do this. Don't just use it to pay the bills. Take Dave Ramsey's advice and use the extra pay to retire debt.
It will take some sacrifice by the whole family but it will surprise you how fast it can be done if you stick with it! You will also start to notice how much stress you lose with each debt you retire!

Good luck and keep healthy. Your family depends on your strength!:)

I applaude you for stepping up and doing what you have to do at tis time. It is hard to be neg on both issues of the 2nd job and staying home. If you drop the 2nd job you will beat yourself up and while you are at the second job you will wish you wher at home. You said it was a temp thing stick with that. Pay your bills off and then go back and spend the time with the family. I :hurray: you for knowing you are struggling on your bills and man enought to take care of it without depending on the taxpayers to cover your a#%. Hang in there.

Guys,

Thanks for the stong uplifting advice. I now have a different outlook on all of this. Tonight I helped the kids put a sandbox together and they loved it. It was pretty cool having them all help out moving the sand from the truck to the box. Tonight I also realised I will be home in the evenings so it won't be a total loss of their lives and a lot of the baseball games are in the late afternoon anyhow when I'll be out of work. One thing we are not is a welfare case. My family has built ourselves up to this point and its one more gear shift to the next level of responsibility. Thanks for the "pat on the back" for acknowleding that. Just about 4 years ago we had to sell out '66 Malibu to cover moving expenses to move to Arizona with the intention of buying another one when we got back on track again. Unfortunaltely it never has happened and has left a big hole in my life. Maybe this could get us on track and into another Chevelle. One of you was a OTR trucker. That must have been really tough with a young family. I've been thinking about this today. I'm probably should do this for at least 2 years. I'll have to play it by ear to see how my family reacts as we go along. I know it will feel great to get this debt off my shoulders. It has placed a fair amount of strain on my family and I can't have it there anymore. Fortunately I don't have any car payments. The wife's Pathfinder is paid off and my '90 F150 was bought cheap. Its not entirely attractive but it runs good. Thanks again for the uplift.

Thanks,
Kevin C

Keep the faith Kevin and it will all work out in the end!
Just a thought. Do you have a camcorder or someone that can video the games for you? I did this with my twin sons baseball and some of their football games I could not get to. Then we sat down with sodas and chips and watched them together! It was really a lot of fun!:thumbsup:

Kevin
Along with a second job you also need a plan (budget). If you haven't I recommend reading Total Money Makeover (http://www.daveramsey.com/shop/The_Total_Money_Makeover_by_Da_P123C31.cfm). Tell you what, if your interested PM me and I will purchase the book and send it to you.

I work 50 hours graveyard and 30+ shipping/recieve'n..
hope you eat your wheaties..
your going to need it..
get two types of daily vitamins.. and take one one week and the other the next,, and so on..
but I don't have kids..
I'd maybe scale the 2nd job to one w end day..
so you can see the kids and not be totally wiped out..
the kids are more inportant than the bills..
talk to the hospital.. let um know your going to pay, set up a plan that works for you..
and still see the kids and have a life with them..
kids are only young once, once the grow. it's to late..
you don't want them singing the who's who are you.. at they're highschool grad..
do youy?

I've already tried to negotiate with the hospital on getting the bills reduced. At the time I had health insurance with a $5,000 deductable. Of course each bill came in just below the deductable. One was at the end of the year and the next was in the beginning of the next year. The hospital will not negotiate the bills because they were applied to an insurance deductable. Even though the insurance didn't pay for anything they still won't budge. Thte thing that sucks is if I didn't have the $430 per month insurance I would have been able to negotiate them down substantially and saved the premiums that i paid for so long. What a scam! The hospital bills placed us in a tough place because of the monthly payments. I don't want to pay for these for the next 5 years. I'll have them paid off in less than 1 year then I can start getting rid of the rest of our debt other than the mortgage. I will have it all caught up within 2 years.

Racing - I sent a PM.

Thank you,
Kevin C

You can try the tactic my sister-in-law used with most of her creditors. She just started informing them that she was going to file bankruptcy if she could not get any relief from them and nobody will get anything!
She had CC companies drop all interest and late fees that had accumulated. Other creditors gave her a reduction in the principal with no interest or fees as long as she keeps up the agreed to payment. (and they are low)
The lady at the hospital called her back two hours later and had reduced her bills by 50% and accepted 50 dollar a month payment. Make sure too that the 50% is good for the whole calandar year. That way any new bills you might incur will also be reduced!
My wifes are like that and she reapplies at the end of each year and they extend it for another if she meets qualifications!

We do what we have to do, right.

I was too busy just holding on back when our three came in three years, what w/ three job down sizings and two moves!

You can be the best stay around, one job parent in the world and still have one turn to drugs.

Now, I enjoy our two beautiful, wonderful GB Girls! Like 4 and almost 2!

And I've learned that a HUG is always needed!!

I told our kids early on that we didn't have any ugly, stupid, clumsy, kids in our house!!

And that regardless of the trials Dad was going through, that I loved them and that they are beautiful and smart.

I tear up when I hear Harry Chapin's old song, "Cats in the Cradle" and CSNY's "Teach Your Children"...

pdq67

Racing - I sent a PM.

Thank you,
Kevin C

I got it and there is one back to you.

I've already tried to negotiate with the hospital on getting the bills reduced. At the time I had health insurance with a $5,000 deductable. Of course each bill came in just below the deductable. One was at the end of the year and the next was in the beginning of the next year. The hospital will not negotiate the bills because they were applied to an insurance deductable. Even though the insurance didn't pay for anything they still won't budge. Thte thing that sucks is if I didn't have the $430 per month insurance I would have been able to negotiate them down substantially and saved the premiums that i paid for so long. What a scam! The hospital bills placed us in a tough place because of the monthly payments. I don't want to pay for these for the next 5 years. I'll have them paid off in less than 1 year then I can start getting rid of the rest of our debt other than the mortgage. I will have it all caught up within 2 years.

Racing - I sent a PM.

Thank you,
Kevin C

sorry to say this buddy,, but with a 5g's deductable a year..
you don't have insurance..

med bills.. set up a payment plan..
you tell them what you'll pay a month.. and that all you can do..
asking them to cut what you owe,,isn't going to work..
and next time you need anything, that will pop up in they're system..
go in, sit down with someone in the billing office..
and set up a plan.. not what they think you can pay,, but what you can pay..
as long as they know oyur going to pay.. they'll do it.. with no interest..
and I'd get a different insurance..
as it sounds like you'd be better off without it..
400+ a month , 4800.00+ a year for them to need a 5g's deductable..
I'd say bye bye to that..

you'd need 10g's a year in med bills. just to break even..
8g's to feel the need for that plan

have worked 2 jobs for a long time.work as a heavy line diesel tech for ford and do side stuff at night.night stuff pays for the toys.also keeps the wife home with the kids so no day care.also do almost eveything around the house myself.installed my own inground pool and screened porch.poored all concrete for driveways etc,etc.can do a lot of labor and have found I can buy the tools and do the job cheaper and most times better(or at least I like to think so:D).stick with it and you'll be fine.better to do it now than later in life.
eric:beers:

I got it and there is one back to you.

Another PM coming back to ya.

Thank you,
Kevin C

I've already set up a payment plan with the hospital bill, doctor's bill, and emergency room bill. It sucks they don't combine them all together into one payment. Each payment by itself isn't too bad, but all together its too much and I don't want this over my head for very long. I know this second job will be temporary. I'll take it one weekend at a time. My wife and I sat down today and looked over all of the stuff we have to pay off. My wife and I agree that every single penny from my second job will be exclusively spent (invested) on debt and absolutely nothing else until the debt is gone.

Bowtie6872- Once I realised the situation with the health insurance deductable and all the B.S. that goes around with it for that much per month I cancelled that policy. When my son got injured the second time I was still wrestling with the insurance company about the first time around and I thought we were getting somewhere with them. When we signed up for it, we were told by the representative emergency room visits were completely covered with a copay of $75. He said he has the exact same policy for his family and it worked that way. Guess not!

One of the main things that has kept my family floating for the last 7 years has been our ability to fix and take care of things around the house and with our cars ourselves. I used to be Mr Goodwrench certified and ASE certified. With that type of background pretty much anything is fixable. I was taken out of mechanics by a severe car accident so I got retrained. I'm making a little more now than I would as a mechanic. My wife has stayed home with our 3 son's for the last 7 years. I always told her she could do that as long as we were making our house payment or until the kids were in school and somehow we always have. There were months on end when we ate nothing but Hamburger Helper, but we pulled thru. God forbid if I ever see a Hamburger Helper box again. I had the Chevelle in the garage for 2 years because we couldn't afford to get plates for it. Oh the good times. I know the great times are still coming up.

Thank you,

Kevin C

I've already set up a payment plan with the hospital bill, doctor's bill, and emergency room bill. It sucks they don't combine them all together into one payment. Each payment by itself isn't too bad, but all together its too much and I don't want this over my head for very long. I know this second job will be temporary. I'll take it one weekend at a time. My wife and I sat down today and looked over all of the stuff we have to pay off. My wife and I agree that every single penny from my second job will be exclusively spent (invested) on debt and absolutely nothing else until the debt is gone.

Bowtie6872- Once I realised the situation with the health insurance deductable and all the B.S. that goes around with it for that much per month I cancelled that policy. When my son got injured the second time I was still wrestling with the insurance company about the first time around and I thought we were getting somewhere with them. When we signed up for it, we were told by the representative emergency room visits were completely covered with a copay of $75. He said he has the exact same policy for his family and it worked that way. Guess not!

One of the main things that has kept my family floating for the last 7 years has been our ability to fix and take care of things around the house and with our cars ourselves. I used to be Mr Goodwrench certified and ASE certified. With that type of background pretty much anything is fixable. I was taken out of mechanics by a severe car accident so I got retrained. I'm making a little more now than I would as a mechanic. My wife has stayed home with our 3 son's for the last 7 years. I always told her she could do that as long as we were making our house payment or until the kids were in school and somehow we always have. There were months on end when we ate nothing but Hamburger Helper, but we pulled thru. God forbid if I ever see a Hamburger Helper box again. I had the Chevelle in the garage for 2 years because we couldn't afford to get plates for it. Oh the good times. I know the great times are still coming up.

Thank you,

Kevin C

Kevin, you and the family will come out of this stronger. I would set the whole family down and discuss what is up with finances for the family. You and your wife need to explain things to the kids in a way to not scare them but so they understand. It maybe time that the kids have to choose one sport a year, along with other cuts till the medical bills get paid off. Sounds like you have trimmed things already but it maybe time to go to the bone for awhile. Time with your children is irreplaceable. I do like the taping the things you can't make cause of 2nd job, then watching it as a family, that is a great family moment.

I work two jobs.... I have my M-F, 7:30-3:30 job.. then I have a second part time job that I work about twenty hours a week at. Usually a few nights after work, and then some on the weekends. I've been doing this for three years. The original intention was to have the second job and use that pay for the Chevelle, but the bills come first.

It isn't a big distress on me to work the second job, because I work independently and set my own hours/schedule. If I need to do something, I can push back or move up my schedule to get my work done.

Big D

Just a follow up. Thanks to all for your advice and support. I survived my first weekend at my second job. I sat thru 2 days of training last Thursday and Friday. Pretty boring. It was basically 2 days of reviewing the company employee handbook. You know the routine, be at work on time, here's your benefits, don't get in a fight, don't sexually harass anyone, etc. If you've had a job you know all this stuff already. The distribution center itself is amazing. Its about 6 stories high and everywhere you look there is some form of automation from automatic sorters, lifts, jacks and belts. I haven't seen anything like it before. Kinda reminds me of the Ford assembly plant that I had a tour of when I was a kid but just a lot quieter. Normal days on weekend shift is 10 hours. Saturday was a 12 hour day because we were behind on the Christmas stuff. The work isn't too mentally challenging, but physically, that is a different story. I made the quota for the day and I was pretty pleased about that. Sunday morning came and I didn't feel too bad. Sunday was an 11 hour day. I was pretty wiped out at the end of that one. I found several new muscles that I forgot about. They reminded me they were there all day today. I figure this should get me to lose some weight and build muscle for sure. I'm actually looking forward to this coming weekend to get back in there and do it again. Thanks again for all the support and advice.

Thanks,
Kevin

:thumbsup: