Seeing the other post on being engaged, i remembered this question I wanted to ask.

Im going to propose to my girlfriend next week, in the Azores. I bought the ring and all that good stuff already.

Now I want to ask her dad, for her hand. I guess thats what you say? But the issue is that I think her dad will spill the beans. He's a good guy, he helps me alot, but he's a little odd. Even his kids think the same. I asked the oldest son if I should ask him, he said no and not to worry about it, but I think it would be respectful to ask.

Hes going to be in the azores too,but hes staying about 1hr east of us.

Anyone? Help?!?!

My advice, BAIL OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN. Not really, maybe informing him shortly before so he cant ruin it? Its respectful to ask, but it wouldn't be nice if he ruined the surprise.

I didn't ask my FIL for herhand, but if you feel you must then it would be worth an hours drive..

I went through this same deal when I proposed to my now fiance. My mom actually said that since I was in my 30s, and my girl had been out on her own for several years, it wasn't such a big deal to ask her dad for "her hand" or whatever you may call it. If your girl still lives at home or just moved out on her own, then you may want to ask her dad out of respect.

That's my $0.02. Good luck. Hope it goes well and she says "Yes!"

I had intentions to ask my FIL, but I had to move the engagement up at the last minute. So I didn't get a chance to ask. I think he would have liked to have been asked, but it wasn't that big of deal.

Everybody knew when my wife's friend was going to get engaged, so she found out. I was the only one that knew my plan, which included dropping misguiding clues. So I pulled it off with out her ever expecting it.

Back in 93 I asked my FIL, my FIL didn't say anything but my BIT** MOTHER IN LAW DID, She has a nak for ruining evertyhing:mad:

I was in the same boat as you. So, what I did was to ask him for permission on monday night and I asked her on Wednesday morning. It lessened the chance that he would spill the beans. I actaully asked both her mom and dad. They were thrilled. Oh, she said yes and the wedding is 5 weeks away! Wow!

Bob

I hate sad stories like this... :p I say forget all the confusion and just push the whole thing out of your head... :D

I was the only one that knew my plan, which included dropping misguiding clues. So I pulled it off with out her ever expecting it.

About a month before I proposed, I told my wife I had a big surprise to show her (she lived about 3 hours away and was finishing school). She was thinking "ring", when I showed up in my new Truck (Dakota R/T)... I NEVER even thought about the potential confusion... I was planning the proposal, but still shopping for the ring... She was still surprised when it happened, even though plans went wrong...

My wife was already over 30 when I proposed, I figured he'd be cool with it! It was her 1st marriage.

i Hate Sad Stories Like This... :p I Say Forget All The Confusion And Just Push The Whole Thing Out Of Your Head... :dx2 :d

So if he says no, then what? You going to do it anyway or pack your bags and go home?

I know a guy that is in his 50's and owns his own tree trimming business in San Diego. I restore bikes for him. He has a house and all the toys. He has had many girlfriends but won't marry them. Too much to lose. His reason, "In all of the 20 years I have been trimming trees not one of my customers has ever said 'Getting married was the best thing I ever did'. In fact, I have never heard another man say that. They all say, 'You have the life'." Sure, there are probably a couple people that say it is the best thing but a majority won't. It isn't like you are going to change your mind...just something to think about.

I know a guy that is in his 50's and owns his own tree trimming business in San Diego. I restore bikes for him. He has a house and all the toys. He has had many girlfriends but won't marry them. Too much to lose. His reason, "In all of the 20 years I have been trimming trees not one of my customers has ever said 'Getting married was the best thing I ever did'. In fact, I have never heard another man say that. They all say, 'You have the life'." Sure, there are probably a couple people that say it is the best thing but a majority won't. It isn't like you are going to change your mind...just something to think about.

I think it will be good, shes an awesome girl. Hopefully nothing will change after marriage.

So if he says no, then what? You going to do it anyway or pack your bags and go home?

If he says no, im going to do it regardless. I guess I just like to be respectful and what not, but I think im not going to ask.

Thanks

I think it will be good, shes an awesome girl. Hopefully nothing will change after marriage.





Thanks

If you have no money and are getting no sex now...............Then nothing will change. :D


Seriously though, Good luck. Getting married was the second best thing I have ever done.







Splitting up was #1...

Ask her first and his BLESSING after!

RUN ANDREW RRRUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!
Been married 27 yrs so I know what I'm talking about :)

Four of my daughters are married and only one son in law asked for my daughters hand. It shocked the heck out of me. I didn't think anyone ever did that anymore. I know I didn't with my three marriages! If his son said no then why take the chance on the future FIL blowing it? Hope she says yes, then you can learn first hand why you were warned.

I know a guy that is in his 50's and owns his own tree trimming business in San Diego. I restore bikes for him. He has a house and all the toys. He has had many girlfriends but won't marry them. Too much to lose. His reason, "In all of the 20 years I have been trimming trees not one of my customers has ever said 'Getting married was the best thing I ever did'. In fact, I have never heard another man say that. They all say, 'You have the life'." Sure, there are probably a couple people that say it is the best thing but a majority won't. It isn't like you are going to change your mind...just something to think about.

I am not a customer, but finding my wife and getting married is the best thing that ever happened to me. Bar none.

I think it will be good, shes an awesome girl. Hopefully nothing will change after marriage.
BAWWW HAWWWW HAWWWW!!! YOU POOR S.O.B. Yeah, she won't change. You think these guys a kidding with you? Run now! SOme day you'll be the guy telling some young man to run for his life and he won't listen just as You aren't going to listen. And you'll just have to let the young fool dig his own grave.....Er....I mean good luck with the engagement.

Wow, you guys make me wanna change my mind! Like I said before, shes a great girl. I can definitely see motherly instincts within her, and I enjoy being with her.

In the end, I guess marriage is something you need to learn for yourself!

Funny story:

One of my sister-n-laws boyfriends asked my father in law for his daughters hand in marriage and the FIL said - Who are you? - Never had met the guy.:D

BTW they never went through with it.

LK

Men marry hoping their woman will never change
Women marry trying to change their man

Good luck dude. :beers:
RUN!!!






:p

Wow, you guys make me wanna change my mind! Like I said before, shes a great girl. I can definitely see motherly instincts within her, and I enjoy being with her.

In the end, I guess marriage is something you need to learn for yourself!

Most guys here will just rib ya on getting married. All in fun.

But, don't let those that have been burnt by women, drug through a nasty divorce, or never could score a nice girl ruin your wanting to get married. Do you want to live your whole life wondering "what if" or live your life saying "I did that, I tried my best". The olds are stacked against you that you'll marry only one woman in your lifetime. But, you gotta try :D

Get on with your proposal and don't forget to report back with how it worked out.

Yes sir!

Il be doing it next week, if I have internet il deffinatley report back!

But, don't let those that have been burnt by women, drug through a nasty divorce, or never could score a nice girl ruin your wanting to get married.
And also remember that there is, almost without exception, two sides to each of these stories.;)

You probably already have a good idea how the FIL feels about you. Ask him, better yet, ask BOTH of them. Then just explain to him/them how important it is to you to keep it quiet until you can ask her.

My daughter (oldest child) just got remarried on the 8th. After an 11 year engagement!!! She was upset no one drove all the way up to Pontiac to a courthouse wedding with only 2 days notice!:rolleyes:

Let me just say this

"The monkey never learns"

Apparently I completely forgot about this thread. I ended up proposing to her, and she said yes, surprisingly! It was a good time, I did it while we were in the Azores, here are some pictures.

The first two are of where I proposed to her, and the rest are just some random pictures.

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198178_4489.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198179_4846.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198186_7399.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198190_8728.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198188_8035.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198182_5817.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198181_5472.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198180_5152.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198176_3835.jpg

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f267/tanky321/n603980064_4198174_3212.jpg

Congrats, is there any news on the date on when she's going to be selling your stuff?

I know that my brother didn't ask his wife's father....mainly because he knew that he would spill the beans. They already loved my brother, so it was no biggie.

if you have no money and are getting no sex now...............then nothing will change. :d

lol!!!!

When I got married, my wife and I eloped! Actually my wife gave her parents 2 day’s notice (she did not have a good relationship with her parents). That was 22 years ago as of next week. My parents knew about it. My mom said she could see I was miles away in thought for a while before I told her. Dad told me "a man’s nuts to get married!" Nevermind that he’s been married for 61 years and thinks very highly of my wife (of course he would, she thinks just like him!).:D


Seriously Andrew, congratulations!

If you want to keep a secret, keep it to yourself.




Respectfully,
John R.