So I've been working on my '69 Malibu for about a week and a half. I'm starting to get the ol' "You don't spend enough time with me" routine from my wife. So, I ask her to help me with the car and she replies that she "doesn't want to just sit there and watch me and hand me tools". How can I get her involved? I'm teaching myself so it's hard for me to be like "well, you do this while I do this" because I only really know about what I'm doing at the time. She really does want to help I guess I just have a hard time finding something for her to do. I can't be the only one with this issue. Anyone? :D

Well the way I got my wife involved was to ask her to help with some of the stuff I know she would be good at....the detail work. She was not interested in helping me pull the motor. For example the rear emblem on my 67 was faded and just looked bad. She took the time to strip the old paint, polish the chrome parts and repaint it. It looks fantastic and it is something she looks at with pride because it really makes the car look much better. She has done a lot of the chrome work as well as trying to reinvigorate some of the older plastic/vinyl pieces. So when we get compliments on the car, they are not just speaking to me but to both of us and I think that helps keep her involved as well.

Just my 2 cents.

Bingo works too.

It's one of those things they either like or don't. My wife has personally helped me, I'm talking about total hands on rebuild of several cars. We enjoy spending time with each other weather or not she is taking something apart for me, or just handing me wrenches.

I think if she wasn't inclined to like mechanical endeavors. there is not much you can do. Has she thought about sitting in a chair reading a book or magazine, listen to music and just have conversation with you while you work on your car.

It's really about spending time with each other. Spend a little time with her doing what she likes. can't hurt.


Rocky

have her to take lots of pictures.

Involvement...I let mine buy all the parts needed!! :thumbsup:

Involvement...I let mine buy all the parts needed!! :thumbsup:

HA! I'll second that. I bet she spent a week finding the best price on a set of window handles one time.

My wife was like that a bit to. Sp when she would say something I would take a day off working on the car and spend it with her. She had no desire to help rebuild the car. She does like do go for rides and I am hoping to get her to drive it.

I don't know how long you have been married, but after 15 years with my wife she wants me to go outside and work on the car and leave her alone so she can do her thing. You still have to make time to spend with her. An hour or so every day doing what she wants goes a long way.

There is no solution,after years of being married she will want you to go outside. My thinking is take care of the car it can't take care of itself,your wife can take care of herself.....lol.....:beers:

Get her into the social side of cars. take her to a cruise in or car show. Let her meet the people and hear the comments over a really nice ride. She'll be hooked. If possible, let her drive it.

Just get a new wife..........

buy her a case of beer,works for my wife lol

Well, no one's said this yet so I will.

You have it backwards. WAY backwards. Sounds like you're trying to get her to see what YOU mean instead of listening to what she's telling you.

If she says you don't spend enough time with her - it means you don't spend enough time with her.
Stop working on the car. Don't find a way for her to help you work on the car, that's more of the same.

When you're spending time away from the car and with her (dinner/movie/something she likes to do), bring it up after a while (but not until later). Tell her you feel like you're trying to get her involved, but you'll understand if that's not her thing. It will be more important to her that you are trying than you are successful.

American Idol and Dancing with the Stars are my favorite TV shows that I don't watch. They're on several times a week for two hours each. Gives me lot-O-time to escape to the garage without being missed. After 27 yrs. of marriage, my wife tolerates my hobby, but I still get the "you don't spend enough time with me" no matter how much time I spend with her. Some women are just that way. Remember, a happy wife is a happy marriage.

My wife has her hobbies , I have mine , there is no way we could "hobby" together ...

So , I have sometimes to drop off what I like , to spend some time with her , seems normal to me ...

she always complains when I work on my cars or while I'm modelling , she never complains when I fix the house , work in that f****** garden , wash the dishes or ironing my shirts ...:D

But we always reach a long negociated agreement ...

By the way , she has not to complain , I'm not a big fat belly smelling & burping "sport on TV" fan , nor a drunk coming back at home in the middle of the night ...:mad:

Women :sad:

Regards ,

Laurent

My wife actually asked me one time "Do I need to wear orange to get any attention out of you?" That was in the middle of the motor/front suspension/engine bay re-do......

Some great responses here!

After 3-4 years of dating, going to the drag races and watching the sprint cars....we have been married 26 years
She has the mall, shopping, and shoes
I have remodeling, more remodeling, yardwork, and the garage toys!

She did like a local show we attended Summer 03, just before I went to Iraq. I spied and parked next to a couple who had not seen my Vette since I bought it (thrashed) in 1991. She had a good time socializing and listening to these Vette experts amazement in my car's transformation in the 12 years they had not seen it.

Usually too much stuff going on for such all-day events.

I keep trying to get her involved.....
She's petite and cannot see over the Vette's fenders nor the L-88 hood.
She says too much power.....she did like the 85 Vette with the power seat cranked all the way up...no such frills on the 68 plus the steering wheel sits low for a raised seat.
She says the Elky is too big

New plan will be a 1 hour at the mall = 1 hour helping me in the garage....
I'll keep trying until I find something that works....
I do hope some day the dude across the street and down one decides to sell me his project 68 Ragtop Camaro.
This would be a sweet ride for her.....

My wife used to moan and complain (b!@*ch) about me working on my cars and threatened me something about sleeping with them. Then I started letting her drive and taught her to do burn outs. Now she is pretty involved and will come in the garage with me but she don't like the heat much. She likes doing interior work and polishing/painting to an extent. I still have to do things she likes also though.

Mail-Order Wifes, every 2 years you get a new one :D

Involvement...I let mine buy all the parts needed!! :thumbsup:
That is sneaky Bill!:thumbsup:

Well, no one's said this yet so I will.

You have it backwards. WAY backwards. Sounds like you're trying to get her to see what YOU mean instead of listening to what she's telling you.

If she says you don't spend enough time with her - it means you don't spend enough time with her.
Stop working on the car. Don't find a way for her to help you work on the car, that's more of the same.

When you're spending time away from the car and with her (dinner/movie/something she likes to do), bring it up after a while (but not until later). Tell her you feel like you're trying to get her involved, but you'll understand if that's not her thing. It will be more important to her that you are trying than you are successful.

A hopeless romantic. :yes::D

I have the same problem. She acts like she would sell the car to the first person that asks. But, if we are with friends and someone asks about the velle' she's the one who starts bragging about it.

I have thought about getting a TV and a comfy chair in the garage so that she can watch her shows while I work on the car. That way she can have her social time with me.

Of course this would be a dual purpose setup, for when she makes me sleep in the garage for working on the car too much.

A hopeless romantic. :yes::D


I'm just glad to see that I'm not the only guy who's harrassed by his "better half" :D

I'm starting to get the ol' "You don't spend enough time with me" routine from my wife. So, I ask her to help me with the car and she replies that she "doesn't want to just sit there and watch me and hand me tools".

I got the same thing from my wife, and I don't blame her for being bored sitting around in the garage with me, I give her credit for at least trying though. Afterall, you would probably be bored to death sitting there watch your wife sew or do crafts or something like that. Careful what you ask for. :p

Here's what I do: I only ask my wife to come out to the garage when I absolutely need a 2nd pair of hands to help out with something and I'm ready, so she helps out and thens goes back to doing whatever she's doing and isn't forced to sit there and be bored.

And to be fair to your wife, make plans to do things with her and take her places. It's all give and take bro, she just's asking for attention. If you start ignoring her and camp out in your garage every night and weekend with your car, you're heading for trouble bro!

mine doesn't care to work on the greasy stuff ....... but turn her loose inside with the all the cleaning & polishing stuff :thumbsup:

its works really well if done with the kids on a weekend while enjoying a picnic at the park & a ride down the coast after wards !!!

as was said its about spending time that SHE thinks is involving the family ... Quality time :D

Be careful,if you share too much,she might start taking you shopping!:D

A hopeless romantic. :yes::D

LOL - "hopeless" I could agree with. :D

I bought my wife about a grand worth of sewing machines (embrodery & regular) and it keeps her busy. LOL

LK

The solution is toooooooooooooo easy.
I DO NOT own a Chevelle, BUT, my wife owns a 70 conv.
I do the wrenching and test driving on HER Chevelle (every chance I get)!
:D:hurray::D:hurray::D:hurray::D:hurray:

I got the same thing from my wife, and I don't blame her for being bored sitting around in the garage with me, I give her credit for at least trying though. Afterall, you would probably be bored to death sitting there watch your wife sew or do crafts or something like that. Careful what you ask for. :p

Here's what I do: I only ask my wife to come out to the garage when I absolutely need a 2nd pair of hands to help out with something and I'm ready, so she helps out and thens goes back to doing whatever she's doing and isn't forced to sit there and be bored.

And to be fair to your wife, make plans to do things with her and take her places. It's all give and take bro, she just's asking for attention. If you start ignoring her and camp out in your garage every night and weekend with your car, you're heading for trouble bro!


You know Jay's right on the money here!! My friends are always amazed on how easy going my wife is about me slipping out for a weekend with the boys, but they don't see when I get home on sunday morning after a HARD 2 nights drinking and have to suck it up and do something with her and the boys , or do yardwork when all the while I just want to be on the couch (like the rest of them)....

Or all the times I do what she wants me to do nomatter how much I REALLY don't want to, just because she is so cool when I want to do something.....

GIVE AND TAKE boys, that's what makes it all work!!


Also remember, the car WILL be there tomorrow, but the time you miss with your family is GONE and will not be replaced..

GIVE AND TAKE boys, that's what makes it all work!!

Also remember, the car WILL be there tomorrow, but the time you miss with your family is GONE and will not be replaced..

Truer words were never spoken :yes:

Truer words were never spoken :yes:

GIVE AND TAKE boys, that's what makes it all work!!

Also remember, the car WILL be there tomorrow, but the time you miss with your family is GONE and will not be replaced..

more give and less take.
1) I wanted to put new front springs in on father's day, but we went to visit the wife's grandma (who broke her neck the week before) instead.
2) stayed up until midnight washing her car for a morning birthday surprise, instead of installing those new springs
3) skipped a local speedshop tax-free sale and car show to attend her brithday dinner (and spend the money for her birthday presents vs. more parts that will be waiting to be installed)

4)I have a nice place to sleep at night!

She doesn't have to participate in your hobby, just to understand that it's important for me to have it is more than I can say about the previous-girlfriends that wouldn't have been good marriage-material.

I met my Wife when she was 22 and still had egg shell on Her. Trained her from the start that I love Hi performance cars and Harleys and Boats. Of course how could she not learn to like them too. During the 27 years later all is well and NO complaints at all. She helps when pulling the heads off the BB, and anything else I need another hand with,, (yes that too) :D
Also mentions good sounding exhaust notes, etc.

During the 27 years later all is well and NO complaints at all. .

That's not what she said when you went to go get that last round of drinks :noway::D:beers:

My wife told me the other day that I needed to take the flowmasters off and put a set of Magnaflows on, she thinks they sound better. Don't have a clue where she heard any Magnaflows at.

Lol, my wife likes it that i work on the car, and she thinks it will be fun to cruise with me in it. She really is a good sport, she sits and reads in the garage, but she doesn't like it when the compressor turns on and it gets noisy, lol.

She also is my race babe, she will go to the track and sit in the stands and watch/walk around and talk to me between races when we go to the track :)

But, as so many have already said, this is not every night by any means, she wants me to be with her and just sit there on the couch with her while she falls asleep to a movie. It's give a lot, and take when she gives it back.

Daniel

Well, you could be out drinking with the boys at who knows where.

My wife grew up with three brothers, but she is the oldest and likes Pontiacs, esp a GTO and I've gotta find her one before we leave this earth. She doesn't complain when I work on the car or our other vehicles, I did get an account setup for the car stuff I need/want and can spend freely. I do use if for stuff for her too, dinner out, flowers and etc. We've been married 38 years, so somethings going right.

That's not what she said when you went to go get that last round of drinks :noway::D:beers:

I was going tell you what Sherry said, but She still with you so I'll wait. Those strawberry Margaritas, watch out !!!! :D

We've been married 38 years, so somethings going right.

:thumbsup:
It'll be 37 years for us in Nov.
Goes by fast...

John,
I did not read all the responses but ...... I will be celebrating my 35th wedding anniversary next month. My Wife loves my Chevelle, and likes cars in general. I would have never been able to race my Camaro for 15 years without her support. She raced her VW for a year and actually worked in the tower at MIR for a season. BUT ...... I have always spent time with her, doing things that she enjoys doing. Saturday's were (and still are) my days to go racing, etc etc etc. Sunday we do things together. Shopping, antique hunting etc etc. Dont even try to force her to enjoy helping you with the car if she does not want to. Just split the time. If you dont, you will probably have to end up deciding between the car and her :( I have seen it too many times over the years.

I think my wife literally hates my Chevelle... everything about it, and all it represents.


Oh well. Bummer for her.



Actually sometimes I'll just park it for a month or so.... When the garage is too hot, lol.

my car can sit for a month without me working on it and i work on it for like one or two days out of the week and my wife still says i neglect her!nag!nag!nad!

I purchased a beach house for my wife. Now when she complains about me spending money on my car I remind her that I spent more on the beach house so until we are equal I have room to play. I still have to spend about every other weekend working on the beach house.
Ray

I've been married 28 years.......13 this time it was her idea to buy the Chevelle she likes cruising and is not nearly as afraid of the 454 after driving with Rowdy in Las Vegas but still screams going sideways 1st 2nd and 3rd but still calls me a Rowdy wannabe her name is on the car and she has authorized most of the upgrades she is starting to buck a bit now. rebuilt motor. trans went to New York, new suspension and now new rust repair I guess I'll have to give her her wish and teach her to burn rubber. She doesn't know all she had to do was floor the pedal:rolleyes:l:)

I don't marry them and I get a new one when the one i have becomes too much of a pain in the ass. which seems to average every 6-8 months or so

Thanks for all the great responses guys. A very diverse sample of techniques and experience. Most of you guys are veterans. Well, this is my first project car. I've had four cars in the past but I never really worked on them. I've always loved Chevelles and I jumped on the chance to buy my old beater when my buddy had to leave the island. He neglected it so bad it makes me sad. The plugs were just thrown in, not gapped whatsoever. They ranged from .5 to .1 (the manual says .35). The rotor in the dis. cap had one screw on it, so it rotated cockeyed, causing all kinds of problems. I had to replace all plugs and wires, new cap, adjust the cam (via crank... I'm so sick of people correcting me on that. Some people say your rotating the cam, some say crank. IT DOESN'T MATTER. SAME SAME, as they say in Asia. I think some people just want you to think they know a lot about cars or something.) Once I did that, I had to replace the fuel lines, which were leaking everywhere, and the fuel filter, and the oil, fix the ghetto rigged HEI coil (it was harder to rig! makes no sense), the list goes on. Anyway, what I'm getting at is when I fired up that engine, timed it, got her humming, it was such a feeling of accomplishment. I fix things for a living (Firecontrolman in the Navy) but never has it really meant anything for me. I'm really taken by the internal combustion engine. It's nothing new but amazing, really. I've learned so much in the last two weeks. But back to the point, I'll continue to try to get her involved but if she isn't feeling it, I'll try to lay back on the car. Like she told me today, "it will still be there tomorrow." What can I say, I got the fever. Now I just need to figure out WTF is wrong with the tranny. Maybe tomorrow. :D