25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.













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Hey! Did we have the same Mom?! Oh, and that last one; The Parent's Curse seems to always work!

That's priceless :). It definatly made my morning! Thank you!

sounds more like my old man actually :thumbsup:

sounds more like my old man actually :thumbsup:

Sounds alot like the wife and me! :D

My mother said I was Hansome and Smart. Boy did she lie!! lol..

Wow, does that sound familiar!

Good stuff RE :D

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

Man, I hope this one is true for me. My mom always says that although I was had a rebellious nature, I never really caused any real trouble. I can only hope that my kids will be that good, and that I can do anywhere near the job my parents did for us.

Cut and pasted, many thanks, Daren

My grandma lived with us/mom from the time that I was in 4th grade untl she died (1973-2000). My mom was barely 17 when she had me and still hadn't figured out what she wanted to be when she grew up until way after I'd moved out.

So, most of the, otherwise, motherly sound bites were her territory. When she'd get flustered or mad, she said one of two things. Judas Priest or Hellz Bells. Both would crack my friends up and that just worked her up even more.

I guess you had to be there.... A 90 year old woman that worked obssesively from 6am til well after midnight every day of the week. Crackly half yelling, half whining, "JUDAS PRIEST, can't any of you boys make it into the toilet" or "HELLZ BELLS, I'm so tired, I don't know which one of the kids I am"

My grandma lived with us/mom from the time that I was in 4th grade untl she died (1973-2000). My mom was barely 17 when she had me and still hadn't figured out what she wanted to be when she grew up until way after I'd moved out.

So, most of the, otherwise, motherly sound bites were her territory. When she'd get flustered or mad, she said one of two things. Judas Priest or Hellz Bells. Both would crack my friends up and that just worked her up even more.

I guess you had to be there.... A 90 year old woman that worked obssesively from 6am til well after midnight every day of the week. Crackly half yelling, half whining, "JUDAS PRIEST, can't any of you boys make it into the toilet" or "HELLZ BELLS, I'm so tired, I don't know which one of the kids I am"

That's great!! I just laughed out loud. I'm at work at the library so people gave me funny looks. :D:thumbsup:

Not only can I relate to the '25 Reasons' I was also a participant in a 'Drugged' child hood. :)


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