I have a 7 year old son that refuses to eat what we have for lunch or supper everyday since he was 2 or 3. My wife and I have talked to different doctors and child psyhcologists to find out why he is like this, with no end results. We have tried everything from taking a favorite toy away (which it never bothered him) to ignoring the fact that he isn't eating. Don't get me wrong, he does eat. But it has been the same menu for 5 years. It consists of fish sticks, grilled cheese, pizza, french fries, pb&j. That is pretty much it. It takes a miracle of god to just get him to stop crying about trying a piece of chicken!! He eats no fruits of veggies, meats, not even a hot dog. Its the same song and dance every night......."What am I having?". I am at my wits end and don't know what to do:(?? Any help from other fathers on here would be much appreciated, so please (to the rest) keep your humourous comments of suggestions to yourself. I need some help:confused::(!!!

My son is that way. My daughter eats anything. My son will complain and cry about what he has on his plate. *he is 7 also*. We don't deviate from what is presented to him. When he gets hungry he eats. One big thing we had to fix was getting my wife to agree with me and not give him something else. Since then he has tried all types of foods including Thai, Chinese, Crab legs etc... Don't give up :)

I have a 6 year old daughter and a 3 year old daughter, both are basically the same way. The both have a very limited menu they will eat from.

We talked to a pediatrician about it, and she told us as long as the kids are healthy and not gaining excessive weight, (both my girls have those figures that scare every dad:(), they will be fine. She said trying to force the kids to eat diffrent things now will only cause bigger problems.

I would let your child eat as he wants, and when his interest peaks to try something new, give it to him immedietely. We do this with our children, let them eat their standard menu and we will eat our dinners, and when we notice one or both showing interest in our food we offer it up to them. This has been working pretty good for us. You do have to pay attention though, kids are pretty good at hiding their interest in new foods. Pushing him will only make him stay away from new foods even more.

Good luck

Jeff

My ex-girlfriend even at age 22 still doesnt eat like she should. It is because her parents never made her try other things. She could always eat whatever she wanted. She hasnt EVER even tried things like steak or any kind of pie!? I made her try them both. Its just crazy, I say force them if you want them to be healthy. You need a well rounded diet.

When he won't eat what everyone else is having, do you give in and let him have what he wants? As Chris said, when he gets hungry he will eat. Just don't let him eat what he wants all the time. One or two days a week you might try giving him something other than what he eats all the time. When he refuses to eat let him sit there until he does. Hide all the stuff he likes so he can't sneak around and find it. When he gets hungry he will eat.
James

My son is that way. My daughter eats anything. My son will complain and cry about what he has on his plate. *he is 7 also*. We don't deviate from what is presented to him. When he gets hungry he eats. One big thing we had to fix was getting my wife to agree with me and not give him something else. Since then he has tried all types of foods including Thai, Chinese, Crab legs etc... Don't give up :)

I think that is sound advice.

My wife is a teacher of children that age and when you start letting them run you......they will. Meal time is what is placed on the plate. The reason you get so much grief is because you have allowed it to happen. A child WILL eat when they get hungry enough. From day one what we put on the plate was what we were having at that meal, if my son didn't want to eat, so sad too bad. If you start by not giving in to the child's whim, he will SOON not even question whats for dinner because he knows there is no alternate meal.


Rocky

My daughter was the only one that really gave us a problem eating. She would flat refuse and want something else to which we told her to eat what was in front of her or do without! Well she figured that was easy I don't want it just refuse. That is until she came to the table for breakfast the next morning. Yep! A complete spaghetti dinner from the night before! She whined and cried around but finally ate it. This happened quite a few times between age 7 and 9. She finally began to eat whatever was put in front of her. Other than that most of the kids just had a certain veggie or other item they didn't like. The rule was a table spoon full and they were good on that. Eventually they would eat those items without a word too. Save one son the youngest of the twins. He will not eat peas!:D

Thanx for the advise guys!! Thats the whole problem, we had one doctor tell us NOT to push what we are eating and let him have what he wants. Then another said don't give him a choice and put the same meal in front of him that we are having. We have tried everything!! My wife ends up giving in half the time because she doesn't want him to starve. It comes down to a control issue with him. He WILL NOT give in.....even when he IS hungry. He was to the point of getting sick in the stomach from not eating lunch and supper already. I know a part of this has been bad parenting skills as to what to give our child at a young age. I wish I could turn back the clock and re-do what we did wrong:(

Missing a lunch and supper does not make for starvation!!! Be the parent, not the waiter.


Rocky

Just to add to the confusion. Our rule is breakfast and lunch are the kids choice, dinner is whatever my wife or I make. If they don't want to eat, they sit quietly until we are done eating. My oldest is getting to the point now(at 6) where he knows that if he doesn't eat dinner, he gets no drink, and nothing after. Usually yogurt, which he loves. The middle one(3) takes after my wife and digs in his heels no matter what. ;) The youngest(1) will eat anything you put in front of him. Food, rocks, bugs, doesn't matter. :D

The bottom line is, if they are healthy, I can't see traumatizing everyone involved by having a fight every night. Heck, if I could, I'd eat steak and potato every night!

Good Luck Brian, that is a tough one. :)

You stopping down MCC this weekend?

Let me guess...this is your only child??
My stepdaughter is an only child, and is a spoiled rotten 19 year old brat. On the nights she stays at our house, we have to be sure to fix something that "she'll like". My wife always has given in to her and for the last 8 years we've been together, I see the progression of non-respect from her towards her mother increase every year. Last week they had the usual weekly disagreement on something, and after her daughter left, I told my wife that she created this monster all by herself. She has never made the kid do much to teach her any responsibility. She always picked her up at school or the busstop, even when it was only a couple of blocks away. She never made her eat anything other than what the child wanted.
When I was young, I either ate what was in front of me, or sat at the table until I ate, or it was bedtime. About the only things I couldn't eat were peas and cream style corn. (still can't)
I say make him eat what's made, or go hungry. Take away things that kids like these days, like playstations and computers. It won't take long to retrain them.

My oldest son (now 9yrs old) was the same way. We use to tell him that what ever we were having was a new kind of what ever he was wanting and if he didn't eat it he could not have anything else.

What help us the most is he would go out to eat with he Grandparents and order what he wanted and he would clean his plate every time. Now he will eat just about anything. Good luck with it I know it is hard.

My youngest son is just like yours. He was going hungry every night for two months, the kid never gave in, he will not eat any kind of meat. only chicken and not much of that. This has gone on from 3yrs old till today, he's 12 now and I just don't let it bother me any more. I guess there are worse things in life than not eating meat!! Like the doc. told us, as long as he is healthy be happy for that.

Hey Brian,
I have a nine year old boy that has a limited menu...same as your kid. 6 year old daughter eats everything. Dr said as long as he is healthy he is fine. Over the last 2 years he is trying more and more foods as he realizes he is missing out on some good eats. Hang in there, he will come around. Best thing to do is for you and your wife to be on the same page. If he sees you disagree in front of him, it his opening to act up.

I have a 6 year old son that will only eat meat. My daughter will eat whatever i give her. I can tell you that when we eat supper the kids get what everyone else is having. He can pick from whats on the table. I would not make a special meal for him. Try to stop doing this if you can. Your not alone in your problem its just apart of being a dad.

We are having the same problem with our 7 yr old son. Last night it took almost 2 hrs for him to eat steak and corn. The problem we have is his "approved menu" is always changing one day he loves one type of food the next week he wont touch it. Keep the advice coming:thumbsup:

I was like that. I won...so to speak. My parents gave up and said "if you don't want what I cooked, cook your own." To this day, 90% of what I eat is pasta. That's all I knew how to cook then, that's all I know how to cook now. Only recently (last couple years, I'm 28) have I started eating other stuff. It's not that it tastes awful, I just don't enjoy eating anything but pasta.

When I went to college, the cafeteria was an all you can eat buffet, I lost weight. You could only eat what was there. I didn't exactly have weight to lose then, either.

I eat meals because I get dizzy from low blood sugar if I don't. I can ignore hunger if I have something better to do than eat. I've gone whole days without eating because I was focused on something and never felt the hunger. Only positive is I don't snack. I don't sit in front of the TV munching on junk. I eat the meals and I'm done. I could eat a huge meal of pasta, but that's it. Nothing else interests me enough.

Tim.

Glad to hear I am not alone in this matter. Yes, he is our only child, (we talk of another but it has to do with some personal issues with my wifes health) and we try not to spoil him. Put it this way.....I don't spoil him....mommy does too often. Dr. says he is healthy, but could afford to gain a few pounds.

I'm going to let my wife take this one.:DHere she is.:thumbsup:


We have a 4 1/2 year old picky eater and a 2-year-old human garbage disposal. Our 4 1/2 year old boy has over the years shown odd signs of small problems. Such as not able to play in large groups, limited vocabulary, or to get dirty. We sought out help from doctors (got us no where) and the local schools. He was tested by an occupational therapist and we were told he had a sensitivity issue with his fingers and his taste. He tasted items different then we did. Such as food could be very bitter or very sweet to him. The suggestion was to encourage him to get dirty in the bathtub so he could rinse his hands right away and then move him outside with a bucket of water. This has worked, however it was a slow process. The eating was harder and longer process.

He was on a bland and brown diet. He does not like color on his plate. We had to place vegetables or fruit by his plate but not make him eat it. The second step was to place the food on his plate, and again don't make them eat it. Finally, he was expected to eat one grape before leaving the table. This number would be increased as the child (or you) could handle it.
We have done this for years and we only get 8-10 grapes at a time but it is a start!

Moving a child from French fries into mash potatoes is about the same idea. First any French fry, frozen fries, potato tots, fried potatoes, and then mashed potatoes.

Our son is currently being tested for Asperser’s syndrome. He is extremely intelligent and very anylitical. He has a difficult time in large groups. This is another process we are working on.

Good luck! Kim

I remember growing up, if we (kids) did not eat what was fixed for us---we did not eat.
(single parent upbringing after 12 yr)
Mom did not keep soda, chocolate, cookies, or any other goodies in the house.
What we did have to snack on after school, or in general, was:
Apples, oranges, celery, milk, tea,---all healthy stuff
To this day I prefer a serving of fruit over a piece of cake or ice dream after dinner.
I seem to be the only person in the house to drink milk----seldom have a soda---and only have a coctail at dinner when working out of town
All of HER kids are addicted to sweets and McDonalds (one of the twins @ 25 is starting to have health issues already--I believe diet related)
I won't eat liver---or squash (something about a poison filter and what is done to most bugs)
I have been blessed with near perfect health all my life----my brother and sister as well. This I attribute to my mother's (and the stepdad while he was around) insistance that we not eat junk all the time.

Granted---now with busier work schedules and the fact that most everyone wants everything RIGHT NOW is not helping matters much.

Personally----I think the kids need to stop being treated with 'kid gloves'. Don't let 'em drive the boat anymore. Feed em what they need to be fed, not what they want.

Hey---Pizza was a big time treat when I was young. Meatloaf, Spaggetti, Cube Steak, and of course when Mom was real tired---SOS (s**t-on-a-shingle)

Thanx Kim (also my sisters name) for all that info. It sounds like you 2 have your hands full a bit more then we do?? Good luck!!

The good part is at least he isn't hooked on Happy Meals or other fast foods. I or my wife very seldom (twice a year) eat at a McD's or Wendy's. Especially after I saw that "SUPER SIZE ME: movie

Our 2 year old is getting to be picky too. We're trying to dig our heels in and if he doesn't eat what's on his plate, fine, we won't force it. But later on if he get's hungry and starts whining about being hungry, we give him a piece of fruit and some milk. If he won't eat the fruit, too bad. That's all the bending we'll allow.

I have two young girls. I TRY to feed them good, healthy, home-cooked food and treat them the way I was brought up. Eat it or go hungry, no other choices. I don't yell, raise hell or punish them if they don't eat what is there.
However, my wife, my lovely kind-hearted wife, will give in and give them whatever they want. THAT chaps my @r$$!
That's my problem.
As far as trying new foods, I never push new things on them, but if you keep trying, they will come around. I've also noticed that peer 'pressure' works when they're with their friends or at school. I know for a fact that when a human is VERY hungry, whatever they eat somehow tastes awesome! If it's something you've never had before, you usually ad that dish to your diet.

Since I cook a lot, I've been secretly adding finely blended fruits and/or vegtables to sauces. They never know it's there if you do it right. There's 'white' whole wheat bread. Keep trying!

We let the kids pick (kind of) - my wife gives them choices like green beans or carrots, as opposed to do you want carrots? Stick to your guns and force them to pick one. My 7 year old tried being tricky by saying he doesn't like cooked carrots or <insert veggie here> - so he gets them raw - theres more vitamins in the raw ones anyway.

i grew up dirt poor, so i never had a "choice" in what was for dinner. if either myself or my brothers didn't eat what was put in front of us, we went hungry. and if we tried to get a snack later, we got our butts whacked. and if we complained about the "lumpy milk"- powdered milk that mom so cleverly put in the regular milk jug from time to time- we didn't really get any sympathy there, either.
now that i'm all grown up, i can't stand mac and cheese- even if it has hotdog pieces in it- but i'll eat it if that's what's being served when visiting people with kids..

I had a girl that didn't want to eat what was on the table. One day we had something I knew she wouldn't like so I didn't set a plate at her spot on the table. At dinner time she came in the kitchen to see what was for dinner and saw, NO PLATE. She asked about it and we told her we knew she wouldn't like it so we didn't put a plate out for her. After a few minutes she told us she thought she may like it today. She ate two plates of it.

My 6yr old granddaughter won't eat anything green, and only eat's most Italian food's or chicken tenders. I finally talked her into trying some of my root beer float one day last year and she liked it, utilizing that new trust I offered her some left over Italian sausage yesterday (she always refused it before) and while I was getting a pan to heat it up she picked up the entire cold link and ate it before I knew it was missing and liked it that way.

Case in point! They will out grow it someday, we just don't know at what age. My 28yr old daughter in law still only eats burgers, BBQ or Chinese food, absolutly nothing else!

Even though our girl is only 15 months old, from watching other's struggle we have already discussed how we will handle meal times.

First, we are in this together, no caving, no matter how hard it is to watch. If we don't support each other, the kid will figure that out.

Second, you can't starve and even on supposedly "unbalance meals" prepackaged foods have enough added vitamins.

Now here's our strategy: she is going to be served what we eat. After watching other parents make 3 or 4 different meals each day, we've agreed we don't have time for that. It also seems to give the child a wedge to take control. Now I'll admit, with a 15 month old, we need to keep her on a regular meal time that we don't always follow and not everything (like sushi, fish, eggs, nuts) is suitable for a baby so she does get her own food, but she also always gets what we get if it's possible. As she grows, the plan is that she will eat what we eat.

We eat out a lot, so at 15 months she already likes Thai, Chinese, Indian, pasta, pizza, all sorts of vegetables, fruit, yogurt.

You gotta start with them young. By age 4 or 5 they are running your life. They can be changed after that but you have to have thick skin. I have a 13 year old and I have been trying to change his habbits because he is the type that eats hardly any fruits and veggies. Cheese has to be put on everything. Just drives me nuts. My 10 and 4 year old daughters eat a lot more healthier though.

MY biggest problem is keeping my wife on the same page as me!! I have veerryy thick skin, she is a softy. I tell her to give him a choice, but it has to be 2 things he has not tired yet.

Ah yes...fighting the same fight here as well. My oldest (15) doesn't eat vegetables to often. Force him to eat carrots when he's with us. My daughter(13) will eat pretty much anything. My 5 year old is very picky..but like most of the doctors say as long as he's healthy and growing, it's not too much to wrooy about...My biggest issue with him is going to the bathroom (number 2) !!!! Now that's a whole new thread!...LOL

Its too late to do anything except get cruel, which is why you should not spoil them even one time. Its a slippery slope you have one he!! of a time recovering from. Just let this one slide, feed him a vitamin every day and be firm with everything else. Homework, cleaning his room, picking up after himself, manners etc, etc. Their mind is to do what they want. Yours is to get them to realize they should not, for their own good.
My mother made me sit at the table until I ate everything. I despised lima beans ( still don't care for them ). If I threw a fit she would make them the next day too. I soon learned if I wanted to go out and play any time soon, I'd have to eat the stupid lima beans and shut up about it. The next day we would have spagetti. :-)

You have to be smarter than the child.

Ok, don't flame me for relaying a message. My Wife was reading the post last night and says the answer is simple. Stop listening to the so called Pediatritian Experts this thinking started with Dr. Spock (no not the guy from Star Trek)! :D You are the adult, you are the parent, stop trying to be the childs friend and you will see a change in how the child behaves. You have to start holding your ground now or when the child gets older there will be no respect for you as the head of the house. For a while you may be percieved as the bad guy but the end results will be well worth it!:thumbsup:

Back when the child was 2-3 you should have had nothing but healthy food on the table. Don't make the junk food an option. They won't starve. Believe me. Our kids are grown and married and eating was never a big issue. Most often you can look in the mirror and see the real problem. I'll second Papa John. Spoiled children, for the most part, dump on their parents later from what I've seen.

You are letting the child be in control. Don't even buy his favorites. He will eat what you give him when he gets hungry.

Loss the battle of wills now and it will only be worse later. He will be telling you what to do when he is 15.

You are the parent...act like it.


Good luck.

Believe me....I act like the parent. I've had him sit at the table till it was bed time on numerous occasions. Nothing ever worked.....he would rather go hungry then to eat what we made for him. Like I said, my hardest battle is keeping my wife from giving him what he wants. I don't budge in this matter. Last night I gave him a choice of either raw carrots or warmed up chicken from the night b-4. He chose carrots and never touched them. I said.....thats all you get, if you get hungry later......you have the same choices. He went to bed with nothing.

Brian,

So you guys are really really terrible cooks, huh!? ;)

So far, the thoughts here are like my own. Other than some bizzare deal like Auspergers, you both have to turn it around. First stop is wifey. You BOTH have to be on the same sheet of music here. The kid MUST know that mom wont cave. It wont be easy now that he has years of conditioning behind him. But you/she can be a nazi hardass with compassion and understanding.

Thats what dads/moms do, right!?

I would also give him a supplement, like Spirutein ( sp?). Pricey, but its onehuckuva protein. Many flavors, mix with milk or water.

And I would lay it right on out for the boy, with the kindness and concern of parents for his long-term well being, i.e, try to frame the issue differently for him, as now its just a battle for control.

On a more global level, too many chocies for kids these days. They have it WAY too easy. These are not good things long run, imho.

No short order cooks in our kitchen. We always put the food out and everyone ate what mom made. If the kids didn't like one item we wouldn't force it and offered an alternative. When they played the power game we gave them 1/2 hour to eat what they wanted or did not want they took it off the table. Usually cleared up in a couple of days. If its one or two items, its taste. If its the complete meal regardless of what it is then its a power struggle. Hunger will prevail eventually. My daughter wasn't as strict and is now battling with her overweight 14 year old when she offers healthy alternatives for the family. Nip it in the bud now. Oddly enough the same kid has no problems over at our house because she know we won't put up with it.

Good luck Patrick

Oddly enough the same kid has no problems over at our house because she know we won't put up with it.

Good luck Patrick

I saw that same thing with a 2 year old nephew.

I have 4 children ages 11, 9, 6, and 5 and I know totally where you're at. They all have different ideas on what they want to eat, but we have always had a family dinner together which is almost untraditional in today's days. As far as what everyone in my family eats is another subject. We mostly try to stay in the middle of the road as far as meals being everyone friendly (Spaghetti, chili, hamburgers, tacos, etc.), but occassionally when my wife and I have our minds set on more acquired-taste meals such as catfish couviant, exotic pasta dishes, or anything else the kids may not be familiar with we do give them an option. The option is usually something crappy like hamburger helper. Sometimes they opt to do the helper and other times they choose to try something new (I.E. what we're eating). You'd be surprised how many times they try something new that they like. One big NO-NO is to ever let the kids here "They won't like that". Never do this. I remember my parents saying this and ruining several years of me enjoying a dish that I loved once I finally had. Good luck and I hope my advice returns dividends in your children's eating habits.

It's really a shame that youth is wasted on the young......

It's really a shame that youth is wasted on the young......

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Can you please elaborate?

We held our ground last night and gave him a choice of a small hamburger or carrot sticks. He tried a carrot stick....better then nothing!!

We held our ground last night and gave him a choice of a small hamburger or carrot sticks. He tried a carrot stick....better then nothing!!

Good for you!!

Did the same this afternoon for lunch. Wife gave him a choice and he wanted carrot sticks.

That's great Brian! The carrots are better for him anyway. There are three condiments that help my 5 and 7 year olds through most foods they don't care for- Ketchup, mustard, and ranch dressing. Don't be afraid to let him dip!

I told him I used to like eating carrots as a kid because Bugs Bunny did. He asked me who Bugs Bunny was??

Its obvious I don't get the "good" cartoon network:rolleyes:

I used to be the same way. I pretty much lived on Pizza, hot dogs, bbq food, spaghetti ; pretty much anything that was junk I ate. My parents talked to doctors and such, and they said I would grow out of it... It didn't happen untill I turned about 19 though, and I actually started trying new things without psyching myself out and barfing all over the place. I'm 22 now, and I eat a lot of normal food, not just junk. He'll grow out of it.

Thats the good part.....he isn't hooked on McD's at all. I never take him there. As far as other junk at home, he likes cracker fish, saltines, etc. nothing too junky.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Can you please elaborate?
It's another way of saying "if I knew then what I know now"

Example: As a child/teenager I hated the thought of eating shrimp and refused for eighteen years to try them, I got married and my wife insisted I try a shrimp cocktail on our honeymoon....now I wish I owned a shrimp boat....

It's another way of saying "if I knew then what I know now"

Example: As a child/teenager I hated the thought of eating shrimp and refused for eighteen years to try them, I got married and my wife insisted I try a shrimp cocktail on our honeymoon....now I wish I owned a shrimp boat....

Its amazing what married life can due to you! Before I got married I never tried sour cream. Now I prefer it over butter on my potatos.

we have tried something new this week we give hime the choice of veggies with dinner and when he starts to fuss at the table he gets the choice of eating them now or for breakfast. He loves his apple jacks in the morning so he will cave and eat some. Actually last night after our usual dinner cry he ate the veggies and said hey these are good/

we have tried something new this week we give hime the choice of veggies with dinner and when he starts to fuss at the table he gets the choice of eating them now or for breakfast. He loves his apple jacks in the morning so he will cave and eat some. Actually last night after our usual dinner cry he ate the veggies and said hey these are good/

We pretty much did the same, now I am coaxing him to eat more carrots. It might take a bit.